Jonathan paced back and forth in his room. It had been two days since he had last talked to Liza and Alice would be coming back any day now. He had wasted all the time he had in being Jealous and overbearing. He hated the fact he somehow always ended up hurting Liza. He could never do it right. He had tried numerous times but he always said the wrong words. He knew that he was being selfish by asking Liza to forgive him and give him a second chance but he couldn’t help it. Liza was like a drug for him and he couldn’t get enough of her. He had made a grave mistake when he had let himself get blinded by Stacy’s charms and had let go of the most important woman in his life. Liza was too precious to be lost, he had cheated on her, broken her trust and had lost his faith in her.
Liza hated grand gestures. She had never been a fan of them, so Jonathan knew that performing grand gestures was not an option for earning her apology. He had to think of something which was like Liza, warm and simple. Liza had always been the one to enjoy small things, she never liked diamonds or gold, she was always more interested in books. Liza liked to have a picnic instead of going to some expensive restaurant for dates. Liza was the kind of person who valued emotions more than materialistic gifts.
Jonathan remembered how difficult it had been to plan the first date for Liza. He had tried his best to make it a date fit for a princess but had failed miserably and had ended up soaking himself and Liza with lake water. Jonathan had been sure that Liza would never agree to go to another date with him but then Liza had surprised him by saying that the moments of mishaps had made their date more real.
Suddenly Jonathan got the perfect idea and he knew what he had to do.
Liza had rarely seen Jonathan in past two days and as much as she hated to admit it she was becoming anxious. She was mad at him for even asking her about Alex, when he was the one who had cheated but she couldn’t help but feel sad by the thought that he hadn’t even tried to talk to her or apologize for what he had done. Liza hated feeling so conflicted. On one hand she didn’t want to care about him in the slightest, she wanted to be indifferent but on the other hand she was aware of his every move. She was angry that Jonathan had spoiled the lovely day she had spent catching up with Alex, with his questions. Every time he asked her about where she was, Liza was reminded of the night he had thrown divorce papers on her face saying that she had cheated on him. She hated that some part of her was still confused about whether she should be hating Jonathan or not.
The sun was setting down in the sky, spreading pink and orange hues. Liza had spent the whole day holed up in the room reading her books and texting Alex. Liza had thought that after so many years of not remaining in contact, her relationship with Alex would be a bit rusty but to her surprise they had picked up right where they had left. She was glad for all the support she was getting from Alex. She still had Jonathan on her mind but for now he was pushed somewhere in the back of her mind as she read her favorite book. She was happy, it was temporary and would probably end with the book but then again she had learned that nothing is permanent, not even love. But then again, all those who writers who wrote about true love, happily ever after couldn’t be wrong, could they? There had to be some truth in them. Liza was hurt but she refused to believe that love was temporary. She knew it because after everything that had happened, she still loved Jonathan. It was a confusing feeling, how could she love him and hate him at the same time?
Liza sighed, she was frustrated. She had been doing so well , pushing out Jonathan from her mind but her stupid feelings had intervened again it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to hold out on her own, she desperately missed Alice. Alex was being of a great help to her but Liza missed talking to Alice. She wished that love had an off button, so that she could just switch off her feelings for Jonathan and live her life without this burden. Alas! She couldn’t, fort was neither easy to fall in love nor easy to fall out of Love,
Liza was brought out of her contemplation, by a knock on the door. Before she had even opened it she knew who it was going to be. “I told you not to come or talk -” Liza was cut off in the middle of the sentence by a nervous Jonathan” Just let me say somethings before I lose my nerve, you don’t even have to give a response, just listen. Please” His eyes were an odd mixture of nervousness, hopefulness and determination. His hand went through his hair, telling Liza that he was nervous. Liza wondered what it would be now. There wasn’t much left that could shock her now, he had already cheated on her and had accused her of doing the same, there was nothing more he could tell her that would make her hate him more or get her to talk to him.
Liza had never seen him look like this. She had seen him angry, guilty, happy, sad and even accusing but never like this. Something about his nervousness tugged at her heart, made her want to hear him out, she couldn’t give into her heart fully but she couldn’t deny him either. So Liza steeled herself and nodded. Just one nod from her and the light in Jonathan’s eyes grew brighter.
“So… I… um… I wanted to say sorry for the other night. I had no right to ask you anything but Liza I have right to worry about you and it was just what I was doing. My way of caring was wrong and I shouldn’t have shouted but I was jealous. I was jealous that the blonde guy was making you laugh when I couldn’t and you were allowing him to get close to you when you won’t allow me near you. I know these are the consequences of my own mistakes but Please Liza just read this once. I can’t seem to hold in myself and express myself properly when you are in front of me, I am insecure Liza, I can’t bear the thought of living a life without you and even though I have done the gravest sin against you I hope you know that I love you” Jonathan said his hands trembling but his voice strong and sincere under Liza’s impassive gaze.
“Just take this” Jonathan said handing Liza a white box “I don’t want to give up on us Liza. You have suffered for so long for my mistakes, I need a chance to make it up to you. I am going to stay with a friend of mine tonight. I want to give you some space to decide. I will come back tomorrow. Please, think about it Liza. I am not ready to give up on us, yet. I may go to hell for been this selfish but I can’t let you go.”
Jonathan left Liza standing there, with the white box in her hand. Liza heard him close the front door and she heard him revving up the engine as he left. Liza snapped out of her motionless state and looked down at the box in her hand. A minor part of her wanted to dump the box in some corner of the room and never look at it. It screamed at her, her decision will never change, that he will never be the same Jonathan he once was but a major curious part of her wanted to open it and take a sneak peek. Liza sighed as she placed the box on her night stand. It was going to be a long night with her.