Jim stood with a grin before I cleared the last step.
“Let me know if you change your mind,” he said, walking toward me as I stepped onto the porch.
I gave Jim a look that promised payback as he passed me.
“Gotta try harder,” Jim said under his breath.
Ignoring him, I looked at Michelle. “Want to watch another movie with me?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation.
I wanted to smile, until Jim turned on the shower inside and started to sing. Loudly.
“Let’s watch it upstairs,” I said.
****
The next two hours were equally torture and bliss. She sat next to me and every time she moved, her scent wrapped around me tighter, until I stopped seeing the TV. I wanted to reach out and touch her, to wrap her in my arms and bury my nose in her hair.
I shifted on the couch and took several easy breaths to slow my racing pulse.
Before I was ready, the movie ended, and Michelle stood.
I fisted my hands to keep from reaching for her.
“I made grape drink at lunch,” she said, moving toward the kitchen. “Want some?”
I nodded, realizing I wasn’t the only one with issues.
“Were the boys that bad today?” I asked, moving to follow her.
She wrinkled her nose, and I grinned and wanted her more. She was too damn cute. And, she didn’t even know it.
“No. I’m just not used to being around them so much.”
That clue about her past stopped my amusement.
“How much time are you used to spending with them?”
Downstairs, I heard Jim ask Winifred if they could watch a movie. That meant Michelle and I would have time to talk.
She shrugged and turned to hand me a glass of purple, flavored water.
Did she even realize her eyes begged for understanding and help? She needed someone to watch out for her. I wanted that someone to be me. And I wanted her to want that, too.
Taking a leaf from Jim’s book, I reached up and smoothed back a stray piece of hair from her face. Her breath caught, and my gut clenched at the sound.
I watched for any sign of attraction in her gaze and saw her pupils dilate. Not the way I was sure mine were because I was so turned on by her, but in a vacant way, like they had on the fourth.
“Michelle?”
She didn’t answer.
Then, a second later, she was back. Her heart skipped a beat, and her breathing became erratic. I could smell a hint of worry, but mostly I smelled her interest. In me.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
Not true. People didn’t blank out like that for no reason. She had something on her mind. Probably whatever had caused her to mention that she didn’t usually spend so much time with her brothers.
I dropped my hand and studied her.
“We all have our secrets, Michelle.”
The disbelief that crossed her features as she looked back at me spurred me on.
“I want to show you something,” I said. “My secret.” I stepped back.
From downstairs, I heard Jim say, “Idiot! She’s not ready.”
He could stuff it. I wasn’t going to fully shift in front of her. I wasn’t stupid. Holding out my arm, I took a slow breath.
“But I don’t want it to freak you out. I just want you to see that you can share your secrets with me. I want you to be happy here.”
She continued to look doubtful, but focused on my arm. Carefully, I started the change. My bones began to ache, and my stomach churned. I pulled back and focused just on my arm. The tingle in my skin. The warmth of fur covering my exposed flesh. Slowly, brown fur grew.
She made a small noise, and her gaze flew to mine.
“You can make your hair grow?”
That she was still talking to me gave me hope.
“Sort of,” I said, lowering my arm. “There’s more.”
I smiled wide, showing her my canines.
Doubt changed to horror. She screamed and drew back her arm.
Shit. Not how I’d hoped she would react.
Instead of chucking the glass she still held at my head, she caught me off guard with a knee to the balls.
Time stopped. I lost the ability to breathe. Thought beyond the exploding pain radiating from my groin to my gut was impossible. As I dropped to the floor, the love of my life, the woman who’d just unmanned me, let go of the glass she still held. It hit me in the temple and shattered. I barely felt the glass that cut my cheek.
I groaned then coughed, absolutely certain my testicles were lodged somewhere in my esophagus.
She ran for the door. The sound of her steps motivated me. She was leaving. She couldn’t leave. Not like this.
Struggling to my feet, I pressed a gentle hand between my legs and listened to her make it to the second landing. I forced myself to shuffle forward.
Each second eased some of the pain and cleared my head. I had to get to her.
She reached the bottom by the time I made it to the door.
“Michelle, it’s okay,” I heard Jim say. “We can explain.”
I hobbled to the second landing and saw Michelle skirting around him. Jim looked up at me as she moved toward Winifred’s place.
Michelle touched the door, pushing it open to reveal Winifred.
“Michelle, let’s talk in the hallway,” Winifred said calmly.
Michelle’s pulse was jackrabbit fast by the time I reached the landing. Yes, I was still hurting, but her complete terror hurt me more.
Unable to help myself, I wrapped my hands around her arms and pulled her back against my chest. Winifred closed the door before her brothers saw anything.
“Please,” I said softly, unable to hide my desperation. “Let me explain.”
I leaned in and buried my face in her hair like I’d wanted to do just a few minutes ago. She froze as I inhaled.
Her scent changed, and I followed it to the sweet spot just below her ear. She wanted me as much as she wanted to run from me. She made a small sound that broke me. She was crying.
“Shh,” I said, running a hand down one arm. “You’re still safe. I promise.”
She drove a sharp elbow into my ribs. I grunted but didn’t let go.
“Please,” I whispered. Tilting my head closer, I brushed my lips against the lower part of her neck.
She stopped struggling and shivered in my arms. I trailed my nose around the shell of her ear, breathing her in.
“I’ll take every knee, elbow, or fist you throw at me because it means you’re still here, and I still have a chance to explain.”
Just when I thought I might be reaching her, she made a choked noise, crying harder as she shook in my arms.
“No,” I said desperately as I turned her to face me.
Her red eyes brimmed with tears as she reached up to brace her hands against my chest. The feel of her fingers against my shirt made me burn for more.
Taking her face between my hands, I touched my forehead against hers.
“Please,” I whispered. “Give me a chance. Give me time. I’m different, but nothing to fear.”
“I want my brothers,” she said brokenly.
“Of course. Nana only wanted to protect them. She didn’t want them to see you like this and worry.”
She glanced from me to Jim, obviously not believing what I said. I dropped my hands and straightened away from her, trying to show her she could trust me.
She backed away and knocked on Winifred’s door.
The door swung open. Both boys stood beside Winifred. She gently nudged them out into the hall. I wanted to give them a reassuring smile, but wasn’t sure everything would be all right. Michelle had fear in her eyes and wouldn’t look at me as she steered her brothers toward the stairs. She walked sideways, always watching us, until the second landing.
She could have left, I told myself. But she hadn’t. She’d stayed. That meant there was hope.
With a groan, I turned and went into Jim’s apartment. Both Winifred and Jim followed me.
“You should have kept quiet,” Jim said.
“My nuts feel like they are the size of water balloons,” I said, easing myself down onto the couch. “A pain in my ass is just overkill at this point.”
Winifred went to the freezer and brought back a bag of frozen peas. I felt no shame laying them on my crotch.
“I’m sorry it didn’t go as you’d hoped,” Winifred said.
“Me, too.” I sighed. “I just thought being upfront would help her trust me more. I mean, I can protect her from whoever is after her, no problem. I thought showing her that would help.”
“With time, she’ll come around,” Winifred said with a pat on my head. “Want me to make you some cookies?” Winifred’s answer to troubled times was always cookies.
“Yeah,” Jim said. “No nuts, though.”
I threw the bag of peas at Jim.