I shake my head, trying to keep my voice level. “Why did you have to ruin it?” Pain squeezes at my chest and a part of me feels guilty for saying that.
“Ruin what?” he asks. When I don’t reply, I hear him twist the door handle, then bang on the door.
“This, why would you ruin it? You were the only person I didn’t have to pretend in front of, and you ruined it. You shouldn’t have said that! I have a mate, one who is your best friend. Are you willing to risk all of that? And why now… why when I find out who my mate is… You have a mate and we…” I don’t finish the sentence.
I can’t; it hurts too much. I wanted this. The gods know how much I wanted it to be Jonah, but I refuse to ruin and destroy his chance at true happiness. Yet still, the fates dangle him in front of me to taunt me, make things harder?
I’m not his mate, and I know she is out there, somewhere. And she will be perfect for him, too. Not a messed-up, waste of space like me. Someone who isn’t tainted with death and darkness. But someone who is happy and glowing, like he is.
She deserves him more than me, which is why she is fated with him and not me. When I am destined for someone who doesn’t want me. I guess it is a punishment for being what I am, for being an abomination. Darkness doesn’t deserve light or happiness.
I only deserve darkness and the solitude of being lonely. That is my punishment for hurting people, for being the monster I am, the bad omen. This is all I am ever going to be, and things will always be like this. No happy ending here.
“Mara, you are speaking nonsense; open the damn door!” I can hear the desperation and frustration in his tone, but I can’t do this.
“Just go away, please, Jonah, just leave me be,” I beg him, my voice breaking.
I am so tired of this life, this never-ending battle. Kora is also saddened by Jonah’s words, whimpering in my head; she wanted Jonah just as much, yet she also longs for her mate and for Kyan to accept us. She is torn but knows we would only be ruining Jonah in the long run, depriving him of finding the one he belongs to.
“Mara?” Jonah asks, but I say nothing, waiting for him to leave.
I look down at the phone in my hand and quickly send a message to my father, asking him to pick me up. However, knowing him, he probably won’t answer until the morning, so I am shocked when my phone vibrates in my hand as a reply comes in.
Dad: I can come to get you now. Where are you?
Me: At Jonah’s in the city, it is too late now. Come tomorrow.
He doesn’t text back straight away, and I assume he has fallen back asleep when my phone vibrates in my hand again.
Dad: Get some sleep. I will ring you when I am close. See you in a few hours. I’m already on my way.
I sigh. My father is a man of few words, while my other dad is bubbly and always talkative. My father is the complete opposite. He is sterner and more protective, and no one goes up against the Alpha King unless you were… Mom.
She has him under her thumb though, and Dad does too, but he prefers my father deal with the political stuff while he focuses more on raising us. He is fun and happy to get his hands dirty, while my father is all suits, business, and politics, and dealing with pack issues.
I wander over to the bed, drop onto the floor beside it, and stare at the ceiling. I’m so tired, mentally.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because my neck is cramping when I wake up, and I am sitting beside the bed still. Looking around, I wonder how I have woken until my phone buzzes again, and I glance down to see my father’s face pop on the screen.
The photo was taken on my sixteenth birthday. Dad managed to get home in time for it. He usually did on special occasions, but he was also busy, like mom. Dad always traveled, but no matter how far he went that day, he always returned home by dinner, even if he was falling asleep at the dinner table.
Mom is always busy traveling between this realm and that of the Moon Goddess. Sometimes we are eating dinner, and suddenly she vanishes when she is sucked into the other realm to deal with Moon Goddess issues. Sometimes she takes one of my dad’s. They too can travel between being her mates, which I know comforts mom. She said it can be lonely up there.
After the first few times up there, she noticed it became easier for them when suddenly my father was looking for her one day, and he traveled between realms himself. Mom seems to think the door was suddenly left open to him because she brought him there so many times.
That was also when she noticed both my fathers suddenly stopped aging like her. My mother is forever stuck at the age of nineteen since she became the Moon Goddess, and my fathers in their early thirties by the time they stopped aging. All of them are forever frozen in time.
Getting up, I quickly answer it, whispering into the phone. “Hey, Dad.”
“Hey sweetie, I’m downstairs waiting for you,” he says, yawning, and I suddenly feel terrible that he drove through the night to come to get me.
“Thanks, Dad, I’m on my way down now,” I tell him, quickly hanging up.
I scoop up my handbag and grab my phone before reaching for the door handle. Only when I swing it open Jonah is lying in the hall. He jerks awake and blinks up at me when I try to step over him.
“Mara,” Jonah sighs, before noticing my bag and phone clutched in my hands. His eyebrows pinch as he frowns, and I can’t help but notice the sad look in his eyes.
“Where are you going? You can’t leave. It isn’t even morning. Mara, please.” He glances toward the living room, gesturing that the sun isn’t even up yet. He gets to his feet, and I step away from him. Please don’t make this harder.
“My father is downstairs; I am going home, Jonah,” I say quietly, unable to look him in the eye.
“What? No, come on Mara, stay here, please,” I shake my head, and Jonah sighs, rubbing a hand down his face.
He exhales, glancing down the hall, then curses, his eyes moving back to mine and he nods his head sadly. “Fine, at least let me take you down then,” he says, walking off toward his room.