What if he doesn’t want me? My mother stops talking and watches me when I am nearly at the podium. Movement out of the corner of my eye makes me look in that direction.
My heart falters and I gasp. Please no, anyone but him! Kyan stiffens when I walk in his direction with Jonah, his eyes pinned on me. Kora screams excitedly in my head that we found him, yet by his posture, he is not happy to see me.
Jonah leads me to the chair beside Kyan who shifts uncomfortably, leaning away from me, like I repulse him. And I won’t deny that I feel defeated, hurt and disappointed all at once.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I found my mate. But I always thought finding your mate was meant to be a joyous occasion. Clearly I wasn’t granted the same.
But how did I really even expect anything more? I should have known that even me finding him was doomed from the start. Jonah sits down and I look at the podium, trying to pretend I am not sitting next to my mate. His aura falls over me and I grip the arms of the chairs.
“How is his aura stronger than ours?” Kora whimpers in my head. I have no answer for her either.
My mother is the strongest one here, or so I thought. Yet his aura would easily match hers as it tumbles and rushes through me. Glancing at my mother, she is staring at me. When our eyes meet, she pulls her gaze away and continues whatever she was saying.
Stumbling over her words, I try to focus on her but find I can’t. Gritting my teeth, his aura rolls over me again, smashing me. I barely hold in the whimper. Goddess, what is this? Why is he doing this?
“Stop, please,” I whisper when I feel him drop it slightly. Kyan leans closer on the arm of his chair, yet I remain frozen under his aura. Unable to move.
“Not here,” his voice a whispered growl and his aura drops, allowing me to suck in a sharp breath.
My body is released from the intense pressure that was threatening to smother me. Jonah is completely oblivious to what is going on next to him as he listens to my mother. Glancing around, I notice nothing out of place. Is no one else feeling this?
“He only used it on us,” Kora whines, wandering off.
“Wait, come back,” I beg her as she slips deeper into my mind. No, don’t leave me! “It should have been Jonah,” are her last parting words as she leaves me to deal with our mate.
Our mate – someone who clearly wants nothing to do with us. Turning to look at Kyan, he clenches his jaw, his eyes darting to mine. My face whips back to my mother, and I lean closer to him. A low growl slips out of him that only I can hear.
“How long have you known?” I ask him. He says nothing for a few moments, and I go to turn to look at him when he speaks.
“Since I was nine, let’s not do this here.”
I couldn’t have mistaken the underlying warning in his voice even if I tried. Yet I feel no comfort at his words, so I simply nod. He has always known, and still he hates me. Wow…
I never expected this. I blink, trying to stop my emotion from showing on my face. Come on, Marabella, you hide your emotions from everyone else, just slip that mask back on. I have never assumed that I would never have to hide my emotions from a loving mate. I was foolish to think that my mate would even want me.
I swallow my sadness, willing the waterworks away as I grip the chair with my gloved hands. I last half the meeting before I can’t handle it anymore. Getting up, I walk off, deciding to find a restroom.
Jonah grips my hand on the way past, giving me a questioning look. I plaster a fake smile, nodding toward the bathroom. He nods and lets me go.
Hastily, I escape. One bonus of being invisible is that no one but Jonah and my mother seemed to notice my escape. Thank god for that, I don’t think I could have stayed in his presence for much longer.
As soon as I am behind the bathroom door, I suck in a breath, finally feeling like I can breathe again. Walking over to the basins, I tug my gloves off, wash my face and hands, trying to stop myself from falling apart. I call for Kora, yet she only whimpers.
“Don’t you leave me, too,” I mutter to her. I can feel her heartbreak.
His words might as well have been a rejection. Calming myself down, I force myself to head out of the bathroom. I have no idea how long I have been in there, but eventually, I walk out, only for my stomach to drop when I find Kyan leaning against the wall.
His white long-sleeved shirt has the arms rolled to the elbows, and he has removed his suit jacket. Standing there, leaning against the wall, he looks incredibly handsome despite how harsh he treats me.
Is he going to reject me here, right now? He looks away from me, folding his tattooed arms across his chest. I go to step toward him when he turns his face to look at me. “Remain where you are.” I freeze when all I want to do is to throw myself at him.
Does the bond not affect him at all? All I can think about is wanting to touch him, and he shot me down instantly. Just once, just to know what it feels like, even if it is only for a second, so I can pretend for a moment I could truly be happy. I swallow and nod, tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Stay strong, Marabella, I remind myself.
“Are you going to reject me now?” I hate how weak and pathetic I sound, needy.
But this is one thing I held out hope for, that maybe my mate would want me and then only to have the rug ripped out from under me, proves I truly have no one. In the end, no one, and I mean no one ever wants me.
“I should, I want to. But Kaif would never let me.” He grits his teeth. Tilting his head to the side and watching me.
His words burn like acid. He wants to reject me. Proving exactly what I already knew. “Kaif?” I murmur, wondering if that is his wolf’s name.
“My Lycan.” His words confused me, his Lycan?
I know we all have Lycan DNA, but we are werewolves, making our wolves werewolves. My mother has explained enough of our history and how we came to be that I know there are no pure Lycans left.