As he tilts my head up my vision refocuses, and Andrei’s face comes into view. “Talking to your wolf? I was wondering why you were so quiet. Did I upset you?” He asks.
I shake my head. “No, it’s not what you said. Well, it is but also not,” I deny.
“You still don’t want me to mark you. Do you?” I can see sadness in his eyes when asking the question, but Andrei is quick to force the emotion down and hide it from me.
“I do… It’s just-” I can’t even finish what I want to say, darn it. I press my lips in a thin line as I try to come up with words to explain what I want to say. All of a sudden, I feel uncomfortable, which makes the situation far worse.
“He won’t hurt us, Sage. Hasn’t he proven that? Please, you’re not only denying him, but you’re also denying me by not allowing me to be with Donnie.” Sierra whimpers, and her sadness bleeds into me.
She has grown rather attached to Donnie over the last couple of months, and she adores Andrei. But the thought still scares me.
She might have been present for what the rogues did to me, but it wasn’t her body that they did it too. She doesn’t fully grasp the fear and pain I have when it comes to sex. Just his touch sometimes is enough to plunge me back there. We barely do anything, and definitely don’t do anything below the waist. If just touching me brings back horrid memories, what would the act itself do?
“Sage, talk to me, please. You can’t keep me guessing on what you want or how you are feeling,” Andrei pushes.
I quickly rinse myself off and step out of the shower to grab a towel. Andrei turns the water off, hops out, and I can feel his eyes bore into me, his questions writhe within him.
“Sage, you never answered me. What was your wolf talking to you about?” Andrei asks.
Can’t he, for once, leave me be and let me collect my thoughts? He isn’t the only one who’s fighting inner demons and battles. And worse yet, Sierra keeps pushing me, so I give up, just to get them off my back.
“She was talking about letting you mark me,” I confess as I dry myself. I walk into the bedroom and rummage through the closet for one of his shirts.
“She wants me to mark you, or she doesn’t?” Andrei asks as he appears behind me.
“She wants you to.” I admit, still focusing on his shirts rather than him.
“But you don’t want me to?” He accuses, and I can feel his hurt through the bond like I just stuck a knife in his chest, making mine hurt in return.
“No, it’s not that… But if you mark me-” my words die out in a rushed squeak.
My cheeks flame, it is horrifying to me, but also embarrassing. I am not one of those people who is comfortable talking about sex or anything intimate. Of course, there is also the fear of it, so it is just a jumble of fucked up in my head.
Arms wrap around my waist before I am pulled back against Andrei. Sparks rush over my skin at his touch. “You think that I will have sex with you if I mark you?” Andrei questions, and I nod, turning in his arms.
“I may be part animal, Sage, but I can control myself. I wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do, especially that. Of course, I don’t expect that of you just because I mark you.”
“See, please, Sage,” Sierra begs me again.
I nod my head as I wonder how badly it will hurt when he does.
“Are you nodding to your wolf or me?” Andrei asks. His voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and right back into the reality we share.
“Both of you,” I whisper, and he pulls back, turning his head to the side to stare at me.
“So I can mark you? Sage, you need to spell it out for me because I can’t feel you like you do me,” he insists.
“Yes, you can mark me, but can we hold off on the sex stuff?” I ask him.
He doesn’t answer, just smiles as his eyes flicker, and I take a step back when I see his wolf come forward. However, he quickly recedes as Andrei reaches for me and pulls me back to him.
“Really?” He asks excitedly as he covers my face and lips in quick soft worshiping kisses.
“Yes, really,” I agree, cringing away as his stubble tickles my face and neck.
“Nothing else, but I can mark you, like right now?” Andrei asks a little frantically. He presses his lips closer to my skin, kissing and attacking my face down to my neck.
“Yes, I have said yes,” I breathe out the answer as my body shivers when he sucks on my skin.
A shiver runs up my spine, and my legs turn weak. Sierra is bouncing around in my head excitedly as Andrei sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me onto his lap. I straddle him as his excitement bleeds into me through the bond, and I find it contagious.
Andrei pulls me closer. His arm tightens around my waist while his hand tilts my face as he brings his lips to mine.
His tongue traces across the crease of my lips, seeking access, and I kiss him back, parting my lips and inviting him in. Warmth floods me as he deepens the kiss and his hand tangles in my hair. The sparks rush everywhere threatening to overwhelm me and I moan into his mouth, pressing ever closer to him.