To this day, I hate myself for the choices I made back then. I was naive, and stupid, and allowed my ego to have the best of me. It was I who left them defenseless and sent my mate, along with many more, straight into the outstretched arms of death.
“Angie sounds like a true Luna, strong,” Sage whispers, deep in thought.
I can see that she means the words she speaks from the bottom of her heart. However, it’s impossible to miss how upset Sage is. She is the opposite of the woman Angie used to be, and Sage knows that.
To stop Sage from beating herself up for everything that has always been out of her power, I reach out and grip her chin between my fingers to tilt her face up.
“And you will be just as strong. Stronger. I will help you become the Luna you were born to be. No one lives through what you did and survives if they are weak. You are stronger than you think, a better warrior than half my men could be. To survive what you did and still be able to keep on living…” I whisper.
Her brows furrow at my words. I not only know but feel that Sage doesn’t believe that she is strong. She thinks she is weak and breakable, but that’s further from the truth than she can imagine.
“And soon you will be kicking my ass on the training field.” I add to brighten the mood, but little does she know that I mean every single word I say.
A soft chuckle escapes Sage’s lips as she shakes her head. She looks different, and I realize this is the first time I have heard her laugh. “That’s wishful thinking,” she muses.
“Come on,” I tell her, tugging her toward the kitchen. She follows me, but stops as soon as we are about to pass the basement door to stare at it.
“Is the person still alive?” she asks.
I swallow and shake my head as I try to pull her away from the door and into the kitchen.
“Why?” Sage asks as I grab some bottles of water from the fridge and hand one to her.
“Why what? Why did I kill him?” I ask her.
She nods as she attempts to unscrew the cap on the water bottle. I watch her struggle with it for a bit. The view amuses me until she gives up and sets it down on the bench. I take the bottle and twist the cap off to hand it to her.
“I couldn’t leave him alive after what I did to him,” I answer the question honestly. As usual, some things don’t change, and there isn’t a single bit of remorse lacing my words. I don’t regret it.
Sage looks away. As she does, I notice her eyes darken, like she doesn’t agree with my antics and the answer. “Why do you like killing them?” She asks all of a sudden, turning to look at me.
I say nothing. I don’t want to come up with some bullshit or plainly lie to her. But that isn’t my only reason for killing those monsters. I need to find their hideout.
“If I wasn’t your mate, would you have killed me?” She asks as I bring the bottle to my lips to drink, and I nearly choke on the water.
My eyes widen as I set the bottle aside and shake my head. “No,” I tell her, but she doesn’t look convinced.
“No? But I am a rogue,” Sage argues.
“You’re also a woman,” I point out, and her brows furrow.
“Why? Are men different?” She keeps pressuring me.
My shoulders slump as I try to come up with something, but the issue is that I have no answer for her. Men are different, they just are, they stand a chance against me. A woman wouldn’t, and it would feel wrong to kill a woman. Besides, it wasn’t women that were responsible for those I am after.
“I don’t know,” I tell her truthfully.
“Then why kill them? Sierra said she heard you say all the rogues should die. That you killed him, and she could hear that you were enjoying it. She said it turned you on, and you want to hurt me,” Sage confesses.
The worst part of hearing such words leave my mate’s lips is how angry and unsure she sounds. Like Sage is beyond pissed at me and yet can’t understand whom to believe.
Donnie has fallen silent, and his guilt fills me, along with mine. Once those feelings clash, they become ten times worse.
My moment of silence sets Sage off to ask more questions. “Do you want to hurt me?”
I’m taken aback by her bluntness. I’m pretty sure I look like a fish that has just been pulled out of the pond, with my jaw dropped and eyes wide open. Shaking my head, I raise my hands, “No, not in that way, Sage, not like the rogues.”
“But you still want to hurt me?” She keeps questioning me as more of her inner turmoil and confusion surfaces, perfectly reflecting on her face.
“No, I would never hurt you. She just took something I said out of context.” I try to explain, unsure how to approach the topic and work around it. No matter how I try to think of the correct wording, somehow, I sound like a fucking creep, even in my own thoughts.
“I don’t understand,” she mutters, probably more to herself or Sierra than Donnie or me. I believe she didn’t intend to be loud enough for me to hear her.
Sometimes, Sage can be secretive, but at others, she is an open book. She’s desperate to solve the riddle to my wording, but at the same time, the answer scares her.
“Donnie didn’t realize the link was open. The Rogue said something, and I replied, but she took it wrong and freaked out. Sierra blocked him out before he could explain,” I explain without going into too many details.
I would never do anything to harm her, not after seeing the way they kept her. I wouldn’t trigger her like that.
“Then what did you mean?” She asks. The spark of curiosity returns to her eyes and burns brighter than before.
“It doesn’t matter,” I shake my head. “But you need to remember that I would never do anything that would bring you harm, Sage.”
She chews her lip and looks around. I recognize the conflicted look in her eyes. Sage is trying to figure out if she should trust me. “I don’t like that you kill them. And I don’t like that you hurt them either,” she says softly.