It was more of a statement than a question and David wondered how and when he became so transparent about his feelings. Did people always see through him this easily? Had he always been that way or did this just apply to Bonnie. He had a feeling that it did. He also knew that there was no point denying it to George so he didn’t even try.
“Oh gosh, man. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” George asked and David flinched. “That’s what this is all about. It’s why you’re finally taking this so serious. I get it now. I was wondering why they would treathen a client to get to you and now I finally understand.”
David shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, and hoped that he sounded convincing enough to make-up George stop talking. He didn’t obviously, because George didn’t stop talking about it.
“I knew it” he said, almost as if he was enjoying the whole thing. “I knew when the right woman came along, you’d fall so hard. I said so. Didn’t I? You love Bonnie Rimmer.”
Bonnie, David thought. He’d missed her. Missed talking with her, laughing with her. He missed looking at her. Not long ago before he met her, he’d treasured his time alone… he never felt lonely and his job had been enough to keep him busy and focused. But since he had parted with her… it had been horrible and he felt so…empty without her. Maybe he’d been wrong to push her away. He missed her so much… Or maybe he was simply anxious to know how she was doing, he thought. But he knew that was a lie. He had to stop lying to himself… he owed himself that much.
“Hello” George said, snapping his fingers. “You zoned out for a second there. Jeez… you really have it bad for this woman”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter how I feel” David finally replied. “I’m sure she hates me now. I ended it… I pushed her away. How I feel about her is going to be the least of her concerns”
“We both know that ain’t true, man. You’re the one who is out here asking me for information about her. You wanna know how she is, then give her a call. It’s high time you stop running away from your feelings. Who knows, you might like the version of you this woman brings out… ”
When David said nothing, George continued.” And a client for that matter!…. Damn, you gotta tell me how the hell that happened. She must be so special, you know…”
David glared at him. “Can we stop talking about my personal life and get straight to the problem at hand? You said you were able to trace a recent phone number. How about we talk about that for a change?”
George giggled at David’s reaction, but he didn’t push him any further. “Alright” he agreed. “But all I’m saying is, make a move and stop lying to yourself about how you feel”
George didn’t speak further on the subject, but David knew that he was right. It didn’t matter how many times he denied it or pushed Bonnie away. It didn’t matter how many times he’d tasted her or slid deep inside her, it was never enough. He was addicted to her-to the way she made him feel. To the way she moved against him, how her mouth brought him pleasure and then riled him up seconds later when she mouthed off, or the way she cried out his name as she came. He couldn’t keep his mind off her, not when he was awake or asleep. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was happy whenever he was with her.
The days blurred together in a way that didn’t concern David. In the mornings, he woke up with thoughts of her on his mind, memories of their time on the boat flooding his mind… amazed by how right that had felt. He wanted to wake up with her by his side. Wanted to take her before he said his first word, and as he knew, she was always, deliciously ready.
He’d slide into her from behind, hooking her leg over his. He imagined taking her in the mornings in a slow, languid pace that would quickly spiral out of control, leaving both of them panting for breath and their hearts racing. Then they would shower. He’d take her from behind or get down on his knees, bringing her to release with his mouth and fingers. Or they both would end up on the floor of the shower, with her seated firmly in his lap, riding him and taking him in a way only Bonnie was capable of. At some point, they’d eat breakfast. Sometimes in bed. Sometimes in the kitchen. Each time, it would end with him getting his favorite kind of dessert. And every night after they went to bed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay out of her. He knew he’d always want her.
But it was more than the sex. For the first time, David found himself wanting her to talk to him, to tell him her thoughts, to share her memories, and to involve him in her life. He had told her he didn’t want to talk about feelings, but now that was all he wanted to hear.. He had gotten to the point in their relationship where he didn’t want to shut down or hightail his ass out. He now admitted to himself that what was between them had rapidly grown beyond a physical attraction and into something a hell of a lot stronger than “like” or casual… although it had taken him this long to see it.
David wasn’t sure at exactly what moment he’d fully accepted that he’d fallen-and fallen like a fucking tree-for Bonnie. What he was feeling in his chest and what he wanted from her? It was love. The most dangerous four-letter word.
Crazy thing was, now that he thought about it, his balls didn’t shrivel up with the realization that he was in love with this stubborn, not his usual type and way out of his league woman. He was pretty confident that she felt the same way, because she had told him so several times. And now he knew that getting her back after pushing her away was going to be a challenge. That’s if she ever looked his way again, and he honestly wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t.