Chest, it’s not just the pain. There’s also …
The Depression That Took Her Breath Away …
Why? Why is it like this?
Hengjun …
How can he be so stupid? Her happiness, with his chains on her back, is it still called happiness? Is it still happiness?
“Zige!” Lan Yu Feng followed her out of the car, not even bothering to take his cane, and anxiously ran up to embrace her.
No! He doesn’t want to lose her!
That solid embrace and body heat came from him, and Zi Ge couldn’t hold back any longer, hugging his neck and crying out in pain.
So warm … so coveted in her arms …
If she could, she’d really like to just stick around for the rest of her life …
“I forbid you to go! You said you’d rely on me for the rest of my life as long as I wanted more! Have you forgotten?” Lan Yu Feng cupped her tear-stained face and growled lowly.
She was still shaking, even her lips were trembling.
“He contracted AIDS! He got it because of me …” Ziggy poked herself heavily, one at a time, hard. As if to poke into her own chest.
If you can …
She’d rather take it all on herself, not him! Innocent Heng-jun!
“Yes, but he was trying to guard your love! Now you’re like this, and it’s not what he wanted!” He hissed sharply.
One at a time she broke his fingers holding her, and on her fanned lashes were layers of tears.
“I’m sorry … I’m sorry, Yu Feng … I can’t leave him alone in hell.”
“So you bear to watch me live in the dark abyss?!” The gloom in the bottom of his eyes intensified.
Eyes stared straight at her for an instant.
“Meng Zige, listen carefully! I will never let you go! Never!” As if afraid that she wouldn’t understand, every word, was bitten very heavily.
“Please let me go …” her hazel eyes held his, “Please! Please don’t let me live my life in insecurity and guilt …”
That would be worse than death for her …
“I will give you happiness, believe me!” His voice, vaguely changed tone.
“You know, we … will never be happy again …” she shook her head carelessly, “We carry too many debts, and we have too many debts to pay back Too many debts too … we can never be happy again …”
It all became a heavy yoke.
A little, a little snap of her neck.
Taking her breath away … nearly suffocating …
“So, you’re giving up now?” Lan Yu Feng looked at her fixedly, his eyes crimson. The veins protruded from the hand that cupped her cheek, “You’re going to give up on me for the sake of your peace of mind? Abandon all the vows and promises you once promised?”
No …
She didn’t want to … nor would she if she could …
The man in front of her is the man she can even not want her life to love deeply …
Giving her up is worse than death …
But what to do?
“If I really don’t go and pull him up, I don’t even deserve to love you …” she choked out, looking at him pleadingly, “Please, don’t let me be someone that I would spit on even myself… …”
Her pleas, her pain, her tears, were like a thick ice cube stuck into his chest.
Even the heart, was frozen numb.
He knows …
He lost!
Defeat at the hands of a love rival like that wasn’t too lousy for him.
But …
The heart, however, is like being whipped one at a time, to the point of blood and numbness …
Fingers, stiff, inch by inch, slid down her wet cheeks.
She took a step back.
His fingers stiffened and he swiped at her hand.
She took another step back …
It began to blur before his eyes …
Even breathing, it started to stop.
“Yu Feng, I’m sorry …”
He was numb and began to not know the pain.
This time …
Really, completely lost her …
Ke Hengjun leaned against the door panel, but his expression was unprecedentedly solemn, “Take good care of her. Together with … my share of good, you also give her together.”
“Definitely!” Lan Yu Feng also returned solemnly.
Sinking his steps, he entered the house. Standing at the entrance hall, he saw her on the sofa. Looking at the small face that was still sad in her sleep, Lan Yu Feng’s eyes darkened slightly, slowly stepped over, squatted down in front of her, and carried her on his back.
She was sleeping peacefully. Lying on his back, as if feeling that warmth and peace, half asleep, she opened her arms and wrapped them around his neck.
Breathing, it fell on his ears. The empty heart, at this moment, only finally felt much more solid again.
Ke Hengjun did not see them off, but simply stood frozen in the hall from start to finish. It was only when the door was brought up and his footsteps disappeared into the night that he threw himself dismally within the sofa.
The world, again, is getting quiet …
Like death.
For countless days to come, he will sleep long in the ground, so quiet and lonely …
So now, he’s going to start getting used to it slowly …
…
Lan Yu Feng placed Zi Ge on the big bed and she rolled over and fell back to sleep.
Afraid of waking her up, I didn’t give her a change of clothes, just pulled the quilt to cover her. He also put on his own clothes and lay down with her.
Long arms, always holding her firmly.
As if, by loosening up a little, she might suddenly leave herself.
It had been a night when he hadn’t really closed his eyes.
It wasn’t until, when the sky was flooded with white, that he finally fell into a slow sleep.
But …
Early in the morning, I was awakened again by a familiar voice.
“Sojourner, take a vacation for me. Yes, well, I am to take care of him. I don’t know for how long, but, at least in this situation now, I have to be around for him …”
It was Ziggy, voice, slightly choked.
Lan Yu Feng didn’t open his eyes and just lay quietly.
“By the way, can you get me an appointment with the doctor in the blood test department, please? I’ll persuade him to go to the hospital for a checkup as soon as possible. But … he’s a bit self-destructive, and I’m worried that he doesn’t see the need to go for a checkup or receive treatment in his current state. But, no matter what, I’m not going to let him get that depressed.” Her tone, too, was dark.
With palpable sadness and heartache.
“Well, you go ahead and get busy, I’ll leave you to it. I want to go over early to see him and make him breakfast.” Zige said and hung up with Su Jie.
She had showered and was now in her bathrobe, rummaging through her clothes in the closet.
Lan Yu Feng slowly lifted his eyelids and looked at her back. In the end, he couldn’t help but get up and gently encircle her from behind.
“Did I wake you up?” Zige asked softly, but didn’t turn around, only saying, “Let go of me first and let me change, okay?”
“No good, I want to hug you …” Lan Yu Feng fondly rested his lower jaw on her shoulder, his face buried between her washed hair.
She was so anxious that she only turned around and broke away from his arm slightly, “I’m sorry, Yu Feng, I’m really in a hurry.”
He froze for a split second as he watched his arm being taken from her waist. The next second, she had taken her clothes and turned to go into the dressing room.
The door to the locker room, tightly shut.
He stared at the door in a daze, leaning against it with a grim expression.
Obviously it was just a door away, but why did he feel that they were already so far away from each other?
Even …
This morning, she hadn’t even noticed his arm, sore from her pillow, much less the red blood in his eyes.
Nope! To be precise, she hadn’t even had time to look at him squarely.
“Ziggy, can we talk?” He raised his hand to knock on the door.
The sound of changing clothes accompanied her voice, “We’ll talk about it some other time when I have time, okay?”
Okay?
She always had this inquiring and respectful attitude toward him, but …
In fact, he didn’t have a choice at all, did he?
“… Good. You go ahead.” He nodded stiffly, answered stiffly. Grabbing his robe, he turned and went into the bathroom.
She had no intention of either sharing her present sadness with him or seeking his help …
So, from start to finish, what does she really think of him?
Standing under the sprinkler head, Lan Yu Feng had been thinking about these questions over and over again. It wasn’t until the door to the room was brought up with a ‘bang’ and the sound of her hurried footsteps disappeared into his ears that he turned the sprinkler head off, propped himself up against the wall with one hand, and wiped the water droplets off his face with the other.
Because of the pain, his chest rose and fell violently.
Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths in succession, but the heavy haze still could not be dispersed either.
Su Chen pushed open Su Xi’s door.
The smell of smoke in the room filled the room, making him frown in disgust. The line of sight swept over, and Su Xi was squatting in the corner with her bare feet. By her feet, there were countless cigarette butts all over.
Her face, which was buried between her knees, her long hair cascading down, looked both pitiful and hateful.
She … squatted like this all night again?
The eyes tightened. Su Chen deplored her, yet, he couldn’t forgive her for all this.
“Su Xi, get up! We should talk!” Su Chen angrily yanked her up from the corner with one hand.
She didn’t struggle, just let him pick her up and fling her onto the couch like a rag doll.
“You’re going to keep smoking like this until you die, aren’t you?” Su Chen asked furiously, walking over to the window and pulling the curtains open with a loud bang. The window opened up some to get some air.
Su Xi was a little uncomfortable with this kind of light and squinted her eyes slightly. The eyes, however, were not at all energized.
And his face was as white as a sheet of paper.
“You pack up and get out of here.” Su Chen said to him.
Su Xi did not react until this moment. The body trembled, turned back and looked at Su Chen incredulously, “You … are driving me away?”
Su Chen took a deep breath, “I’ve already told mom and dad that they’ll take care of you.”
“But you promised me that you would never let go of me for the rest of your life!” Su Xi screamed out of control.
All the emotions that have been suppressed in his chest for so long, Su Chen also exploded all of a sudden, ”Do I still dare to keep you? Su Xi, ask yourself, do you look like a devil now? Are you a time bomb? I’m keeping you here, if you can’t think straight one day, and find a way to hurt Yu Feng and Zi Ge again, how will you let us explain to them again!”
“I am your own sister! Only I, am your relative!” Su Xi couldn’t help but cry, her hand painfully pressing her chest.
Even Su Chen is leaving her behind …
It also means that the world … is leaving her behind …
“Why can’t you figure it out?!” Su Chen glared at her, “You’re my relative, but that doesn’t mean I have to hold back your viciousness without limits! Understand?!”
He growled lowly, “If you don’t pack your things, I’ll do it for you myself! I’ll have mom and dad pick you up by tomorrow!”
Su Chen finished yelling and turned around to go out.
Su Xi, however, suddenly covered her mouth and ran towards the restroom with difficulty.
The sound of vomiting came from Su Chen, who took a step back and looked at her with his jaw dropped.
She threw up more and more, like she was going to vomit her stomach out.
Su Chen frowned warily and walked to the restroom door, his eyes staring at her in bewilderment.
“Su Xi.” Su Chen called her slyly.