On our last night together, I looked up at him hopeful, because I thought we’d have forever.
And we could’ve.
All I had to do was say the words.
But they never came out.
We had discarded of our clothes in record time, and for the first time ever, I was completely naked before him.
I had always felt self conscious of my body, even though his filthy mouth would always remind me in these moments that I was shaped perfectly, that I needed to start realising it for myself.
But it was easier said than done.
He lifted me by the hips slightly, and I supported my own weight on my knees so that he could slide the condom down.
Then, with a whimper of his name, I lowered myself down onto him, wincing slightly, to which he used his large hands to stop my rocking movements.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it just feels different.”
“Good or bad different?”
“No, it’s – it’s good,” I stick my bottom lip out, and he catches it between his teeth, sucking on it harshly, before releasing it and moving his mouth back down to my chest.
I bounced my hips, then circled them, growing evidently tired, but the pleasure was worth the exhaust.
We hadn’t really tried too many adventurous positions, even though we had sex any chance we could get, and had time to explore it together.
But we were so hungry, so needy for one another, that most often than not he’d always end up on top, pounding into me until he came powerfully across the skin on my stomach, or in my mouth, or my chest, or the condom if he had remembered to put it on.
I knew the risks of unprotected sex, but we were being as safe as we could for two people as ravenous as us.
The feeling of skin on skin was pure bliss, however – feeling him like that, so deeply, had me screaming his name in seconds.
It was just too much.
He had bent me over the desk at mine and Sam’s apartment once, when I had sneaked him in for an hour in between Sam’s lectures.
The way the light from the window hit so perfectly, making our perspiring bodies almost glow, as he took me in that way, was something I hoped to remember when he’d leave my side, and I’d be completely alone.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts when his fingers reach down to swipe across my moisture, pinching my sensitive bud before he rolled it between his fingers.
“What are you thinking?” He pants, speeding up his thrusts in and out of me by a flexing of his hips.
“Fuck,” he mutters before I could respond, reaching a deeper spot.
“When you… bent me…. over the desk,” I breathe in between moans, and arch my back slightly when he repeats his movements over and over again over my sex.
“That was fun, huh?” He groans, his voice raspy and thick, and he leaned up to kiss me, swallowing my whimpers, his tongue massaging mine.
I simply nod, unable to speak any more words, and when he pulls his mouth away, I reach down and grab his hand moving over me, bringing his glistening fingers to my mouth and sucking my own arousal off.
His pupils were so blown out, that the green of his eyes was no longer visible at all, as he watched me take over, claiming full control.
He flips us over with a loud grunt, and slams into me so forcefully, he could possibly be tearing the skin around my upper inner thighs.
“Break up with him,” he growls, his thrusts picking up a dangerous pace.
“Theo -”
“Do it, Dove. Leave him,” he half pleads, half demands, and goes to palm my breast, pushing it up to my neck with his free hand.
I didn’t know how to respond, so I decided against saying anything. He doesn’t force an answer out of me, as the pleasure overwhelms all other senses.
“Fuck, I’m going to come,” he pants in my ear, his breath hot against my neck.
I hadn’t even tasted the slight hint of liquor on his breath until after we were done, because I was too preoccupied.
Perhaps I hadn’t even cared that he drank a little.
It suited him, but not Sam.
He brings my leg up to his shoulder and kisses my calf tenderly, and I wrap my other leg around his back, pulling him in even closer.
“Oh my god,” I clamp my mouth shut, trying not to be too loud, even if we were well away from the rest at the bonfire.
He spilled over, and didn’t withdraw for a while, simply allowing the pleasure to linger for a moment more.
Then he rolled off me, and we stared up at the night sky, our breathing so erratic.
“We have no self-control whatsoever,” I giggle, and he doesn’t say anything, and simply looks into my eyes, taking me in as if it was the last time.
If only I knew.
“We should probably get back,” I whisper, and pick myself up off the ground, staring at him as he put his clothes back on, and him doing the same.
I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket, and pull it out to find a short message from Sam.
A message that, I hoped I had known then, would change our lives forever.
“Meet at apartment. Need to talk.”
I gulped, bile rising in my throat, and my palms slicking over with sweat.
“What’s wrong?” Theo asks, and cups my cheeks in his hands.
And that was just it – I didn’t know, and it was terrifying.
Had he finally figured it out?
And if he did, would this break or make us?