When our lips touched, it was as if the only thing keeping me grounded was him – and I weighed nothing, and I could flutter away at any given second. The way his touches were gentle yet hungry, and lingering on my body – I’d give anything to feel that again, just once more, to remember how good it had felt, and how I lost it all.
The moment I laid eyes on them, I felt a rage spark within me that I hadn’t felt before. His hands all over her body, exploring it in such intimate ways, or perhaps just too intimate for my liking and seemingly normal to anyone else – I hadn’t realised it then, but this was the beginning to something far beyond just a simple, innocent first-glance attraction I had towards another boy.
“Dove! Didn’t expect to see you here!” She cheers, in the most bothering voice, and I straightened out my back and made eye contact with her at this.
“Yeah well, you invited me, remember?”
Sam takes my hand in his, and gives me a questioning look as if to ask me how exactly I knew this girl. I should’ve gotten up and left right then, but something was holding me glued to the bench. Theo examined my hand in Sam’s for a brief moment, before taking a seat opposite us in the circle, Yasmine choosing to sit on his lap instead of finding a space beside him.
Fucking bitch.
They both continued to eye us across the circle, Theo with a neutral expression splattered on his face, and it pissed me off, because I wanted to know so badly what he was thinking in that moment. My train of thought is interrupted when Lilian places her hand on my shoulder as if to hold on to me before I break, sensing the tension, and Yasmine breaking the silence,
“And this must be… Samuel, is it?” She half asks me, half asks him, as she continues to glare rudely at the both of us.
“Yes.” I say, trying to sound as confident as possible, but my response came out in a low voice.
The atmosphere grew thick with tension between us and the seniors gathered opposite our bench. Lilian looked me over with worried eyes – she knew that I chose not to tell Sam about cheerleading yet, and she also knew that these girls were up to something – or perhaps just Yasmine, who had a bad habit of sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, and trying to start an argument out of thin air. As if reading my thoughts, Sam decides to take a lead on this conversation, despite my attempts to get him to leave it alone by squeezing his hand repeatedly. He was still staring.
God, even in the ascending darkness of the night, his eyes glowed bright green, straight through me, emotion still hidden on his face. What was he thinking in this moment?
“So how exactly do you know my Dove?” Sam asks, and Theo chuckles at his choice of wording. I mentally face-palm myself and apologise for my boyfriend’s own inability to fit in. Sometimes I wondered how he came to be the first to make friends at this college instead of me, but then come to think of it, his friends were probably just as geeky – if not worse.
“Oh, she didn’t tell you?” Yasmine chimes in, and I prepare myself for what’s to come. This was it – all the hard work I had put in to try and cover up the fact that I had started this, going down the drain. All those late nights I’d come back from practice, and have to put on my best smile and pretend like I was elsewhere, so he wouldn’t discover my secret. All for nothing, as this bitch stared right back into my pleading eyes and smiled an evil smile, before responding,
“Oh, she’s in my Literature class! We’re working on a mid-term project together.”
What?
I immediately relax, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Why did she say that? Was she simply trying to fuck with me, test my limits until I would snap? Or was there something more to it that she was plotting? But before I could calm my nerves entirely, Theo surprises me by speaking up.
“You’re a terrible liar, Yas,” he laughs, and looks me dead in the eye before returning his eyes to her.
Oh no.
“Yasmine here wouldn’t survive one week in Literature. I hope you aren’t as foolish as to have believed her,” he directs his commentary towards Sam, then steals a quick glance at me again. I shoot him a warning look, but he seems unfazed by this, and continues,
“Yasmine knows your girlfriend through cheerleading practice.”
He lays back slightly on the bench, as if to announce the end of his revolutionary speech. My blood is boiling, and my vision is going blurry.
How could he?
His smirk is all that I can focus on, as I feel Sam stand to his feet next to me, and turn to me with a confused expression on his face.
“What’s he talking about, Dove?”
Fuck’s sake.
“Um…”
“Go on, Dove. Tell him,” Theo interrupts, and my face twists in anger and disgust at his face in that moment. World’s biggest dickhead.
“Well I’ve been going to uh… cheerleading practice for a few weeks now. For you.” I look down at my feet, trying to control my breathing, as my chest rose and fell at an unnatural speed.
“For me?”
“Yeah, to uh, surprise you. I thought that maybe, I don’t know it would help -”
He puts up his hand to stop me, knowing damn well what I was referring to and trying to save me the unnecessary embarrassment of having to disclose that kind of information in front of the whole group. Lilian’s hand rested on my shoulder throughout the whole thing, then moved to my back, rubbing soothing circles over it in reassurance.
Only it wasn’t working. Nothing anyone could do or say in this moment, would help my case.