“I-I apologize. I was going to say my wishes to Kal. I didn’t mean to scare you… I just-” He stumbles over his words getting worked up trying to deliver his truth to me. Trying to ease the tension that bounds us together in one cage. A slight blush creeps up my cheeks in embarrassment. Why am I so quick to assume rather than going with the flow?
“You can have him for a while after breakfast,” I utter waiting patiently for him to get back to his seat so I can stop being in the spotlight that I detest.
“Yes, I would love that.” He gives me a quick smile striding back to his seat paying heed to my feelings.
I peek back at the juicy slice of meat. It looks scrumptious and with my taste buds, I would probably love it. Quite funny how I couldn’t remember eating this. Was I that indulged or engrossed in it?
The noisiness of the pack begins once again as Deimos takes his first bite and the wolves begin to converse and fill their bellies. The chair at his right is void rather I can feel the coldness from here.
His eyes are downcast focused on the plate that lies beneath, fingers working on cutting down his meal whilst he chews quietly not indulging in any conversations. Neither with Ragon who eats at his side who is in the same position as him nor with our warriors who talk about potential war plans and positions.
I watch him not from a viewpoint of a mate but one of an ordinary wolf. Is this how he always was before we met? Quiet, unapproachable and disinterested? The Deimos I know is not the male who sits opposite the room.
And Ragon, I… I do not recognize him in any sense. He seems very similar to his Alpha, not the playful easygoing characteristics I saw. At the end of the day, both of them are just two lonely males in my eyes and perhaps in the pack’s eyes too.
“Alpha why aren’t you eating?” Elriam questions at my side freeing me of the thoughts I was drowning in. Her eyes peek at the meat waiting to be eaten.
I slide the plate towards her. “You can have it, Elriam.” I whisper grabbing some toast to dip into my soup.
“But Alpha Deimos, he-” She begins to reason to my words.
“I said you can have it. If you do not wish to eat it, give it to the females.” I declare for my attention lies elsewhere. Kal is beginning to stir awake. Is this not perfect timing for he shall be reunited with his favourite wolf in the world. His father.
Throughout breakfast, I keep taking glances at Deimos. It possessed a swiftness to it for I removed my eyes from his flesh before he could feel the heat of my gaze upon him.
He remained the same as he was. Cold and detached from the rest. He wasn’t this way when I had first arrived here either for his senses were overflowing with the newness of my presence. I have been seeing him in a different light, rather new darkness that haunts him. Perhaps new to me but old and familiar to him.
He seemed to look as though he were a soulless wolf void of a heart or emotions. But I know that is not the case for he proved to me in several ways he possessed a soul brighter than the stars but his faults were not the problem. His every sin towards me had brought our end.
Yes, the pack always came first. I know this. It is essential to live by these words if one was Alpha born. But as a mate, I hoped he would choose me for once in his life. Just that one time when he was tied to the tradition.
This is tearing us apart from the inside is it not, Deimos? He stops munching to swiftly strike his eyes upon my flesh. This. This bond that I truly treasured with every inch of my soul. Every moment, every kiss, every laugh. You shattered it. His hands tremble unable to hold anything within them the fork and knife drops to the table with a loud clang. With your own two hands. You did this. His breath dies in his throat for he is unable to breathe. His fingers claw at his throat whilst he chokes for air. My forgiveness… my forgiveness may never come. You may never be set free. His soul bleeds.
“Elriam, take Kal to Deimos. I do not wish to see him today or I might sink my claws into the flesh of his throat. I do not want this pack to loose their beloved Alpha.” I spit my words of controlled fury to her.
“Yes, Alpha.” She bows acknowledging my command to her.
“Very well, I shall go visit Cronus. That male hasn’t come to breakfast today.” I whisper wiping my mouth with the napkin.
Whilst the room begins to clear and wolves leave I slip out along with them for my scent shall mingle with theirs and Deimos will not know that I have left.
Finding Cronus is quite easy for he is always with the pups. If one hears the unstoppable screeches and shrieks of the young ones, one will know he is present.
Following the path that leads to the clearing, I find him by the lake. His arms hold two pups one seated on each hip. The third pup sits upon his shoulder tiny hands thrust into Cronus’s locks for support.
Several others are screaming and running around him playing catch as if he were a tree.
“Carry me! Carry me, Alpha Cronus. It is my turn.” A young male pleads looking up trying to meet with Cronus’s eyes.
Another male pushes the young one to the ground who in turn begins to bawl and wail. “No, it is not! It is my turn, Alpha Cronus promised.”
The two young pups begin to strike at each other doing their best to throw a proper punch to get first in line.
“Now now. Every wolf shall get their turn. As you can see I possess merely two hands and one shoulder. So the pup who waits patiently shall be next.” Cronus utters.
I watch whilst leaning upon a nearby tree hands folded across my chest. A smirk on my face whilst I regard him. Should I help him? Or should I leave him to fend for himself?
“Lumina! I know you are here, I can smell you! Wait, little one don’t pull so hard. I do not wish to be bald before I meet my mate.” Cronus shrieks with pain to the little pup seated on his shoulder whilst he tries to swirl around with the weight he carries so he can find me.
“What are you doing, Cronus?” I chuckle.
“Their mothers wished to have a peaceful breakfast so I made their wish come true.” He grunts as a young female begins to climb up his leg. Charmer of females indeed, they must be swooning over him in the dining room right now.
“I see. It looks like you are having fun, I shall be on my way then. Farewell.” I utter teasingly, turning around acting as though I am truly leaving him.
“Wait!” He shrieks as a wicked smile paints my face.
“Yes?” I question innocently.
“Help me.” He whispers his eyes tearing up. A loud laugh booms from my chest, the pups have clearly traumatized him.
Striding towards them with a low chuckle I begin to remove the pups from him who stick to him as glue screaming when I try to extract them.
“Come, I shall carry you too.” I bend down picking up two pups from the ground holding them on each hip.
A female begins to sniff me, my neck, hair and cheeks taking in my scent. Many know my scent and show respect when they are in contact with me but some are still young to recognize it and rather remain careless and playful until their mothers come and apologize to me on their behalf.
Whilst she sniffs she presses her cold tiny nose into my flesh, its coldness erupting goosebumps upon my skin. “Why is your nose so cold, little one?” I question with a laugh.