Loud wails of a newborn demanding its mother. Soft whispers at the back trying to calm the one who makes such high-pitched noise. A lullaby is being sung yet the pup pays no heed to it continuing to wail with all the pressure within its lungs.
A wail that pains me. A wail that wakes me up from the darkness and pulls me back to light. My pup beckons me to acknowledge it’s presence. My body sucked dry of energy and blood leaving me with nothing but a pile of bones.
But I fight with every breath to open my eyes and welcome the one who is my only true gift from the moon. Trying to get the attention of those present I let out a soft moan hoping it would strike past the chatter and movements.
It does not work for every attention is on the future that demands to be fed. Taking a deep slow breath calming the beats of my heart I focus on setting my eyes free from the grasps of my eyelids. I do not wish to be in darkness anymore for I had submerged in it before I could see the one whom I birthed. I want to hold the one who wails in my arms.
Buttons popped, the front of my dress is pulled back baring my breasts whilst the cold air grazes my skin and I shiver uncontrollably. The hair on my flesh stands upright knowing what is to come rather whom I shall feed. I take a slight gasp of air trying again and my prayer is answered.
“The Luna is awake! Fetch the healer.” A female screeches with joy. The other females present stop their chatter rushing towards me, a cold drenched towel is placed over my eyes. And it calms my burning flesh. The liquid saturates my pupils acting as rain to the drought.
“Open your eyes, Alpha. Don’t you wish to meet your pup?” Elriam’s whisper strikes through the cold air.
“Elriam?” My first word.
“Yes.” She laughs almost as if she were sobbing at the same time. “Yes, it’s me. Remove the cloth from her eyes.” A command from the beta has the cloth removed and my eyes free to open.
Clenching my fists digging my nails into the flesh of my palms I gently peel my eyes open. As the first infliction of light hits the irises that were submerged in the darkness I do not shut them back in rather I fight. Fight to behold the one who awaits.
Blurriness, the face in front of me is with swirls. “Blink.” She says and I blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Until the swirls dissolve and the outline is prominent.
What welcomes me is the awaiting face of my beta. Her eyes are concerned but patiently she waits for me. As soon as I meet her eyes, she smiles. A smile I have never seen on her. Lips peeled back to end to show teeth, eyes shining as she regards me.
“Welcome back, Alpha.” She says and I give her a gentle smile. She raises to click on a button to the right and the bed begins to move upright. The slowness it possesses does not request any demand to my body allowing me to adjust without pain.
Once I am seated a pillow is brought out and pressed behind my back acting as the support I desperately need. The wailing of the pup hidden behind curtains had stopped the minute I spoke as if knowing its mother was awake.
“Bring me my pup.” My searching eyes meet Elriam’s who scans my body to check on my well being. The second those words surpass my lips one of my females pulls back the curtain to reveal my newborn cuddled to her chest.
My heart pounding I open my arms to receive what she holds. Soft. Is the first word that comes to mind whilst my pup is pulled to my chest.
“I bore a male.” I chuckle as he stares at me with his wide doe eyes. Emeralds. He possesses emeralds the same as his father. Now I know that I have to live with this every day. The blue cap that sits tight on his tiny head is removed by my fingers.
“You look beautiful, my male.” I nuzzle into his cheek lips pursed to give a soft kiss as my first tear rolls down my cheek to fall on his. He flinches to the new and sudden feeling of the tiny wet drop yet does not shed tears for he has spent all his cries waiting for me to hold him.
Pushing him into my right breast his eyes flutter close mouth open searching for my nipple and once he finds he sucks, my life pouring into him. It is truly a heavenly sight. He holds my soul as I hold his with utmost care. “I will protect you to the ends of the earth, this I promise.” I whisper a sob from my lips.
With shaky breaths and silent cries, I watch my male feed. He soars above everything I had imagined for the second our eyes met my dead heart spoke.
“What is his name, Luna?” One of the females questions me. A young one, merely a juvenile. She must find this astonishing. To witness a birth is a gift by itself.
I look back at my male who is happily suckling away a name quickly comes to mind. Deimos and I had spent days writing down names for our pup and I decide to choose something we both liked. Despite our shattered hearts, he is still the father of the future Alpha. With a gentle look and a soft smile, I whisper, “Kal.”
“What meaning does the name possess?” The juvenile female asks.
“It means most beautiful.” I declare.
Elriam allows a tear to roll down her cheek but she quickly wipes it away destroying the evidence as she gazes at him and me. Today is the day every wolf shall cry of happiness in the pack for the birth of their next Alpha. Yet there shall be two whose hearts mourn despite the birth of their son.
The sudden silence and tension that consumes the room as wildfire helps me know of his presence. Deimos is here. I do not move my eyes from my male whom I gently rock upon my thigh lulling him into slumber.
“I need to be alone with my female.” An order pools from his lips. A whispered command. But the females do not pay heed to his words. They want me to speak of my acknowledgment. They will not leave unless I say so.
I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to- “I will not ask again!” His voice raises, irritation of their disobedience growing and my females flinch and shudder with fear. No matter what he is still the Alpha of the pack.
I give a curt nod to Elriam and she quickly understands gathering my females and taking them along with her. My females who were prepared to fight for me. As they scurry out of the room, the door is shut behind them and it is all but a broken family who stands inside.
He takes light steps towards the bed sitting upon the hard floor hands placed upon the mattress. “My female.” The first words to leave his lips. I do not speak to him for I do not know what to say. My rage builds up wrapping its claws around my throat ripping me off air but mournful misery overpowers it. And it is more painful and powerful for it consumes not my throat but my heart and soul. I meet his emeralds, I simply stare at him who is meant to be mine.