Deimos gives a sharp nod as he doesn’t seem fazed by my answer. “I’ll change your answer soon.” His eyes hold a promise as I look out the large window. I don’t want to reply to that. That would only start an argument.
The waiter brings our food quickly and I begin to sate my hunger. I feel Deimos’s eyes on me throughout our dinner, yet I pay him no heed munching on my meal softly. I feel he has questions. Answers he wants from me. I don’t know what they are but I am in no mood to help calm his uncertainty.
Finishing up on our meal, we continue our journey. I don’t sleep a wink and neither does Deimos. He has been disturbed since our dinner. Each of us consumed by our thoughts and insecurities we forget about time and place.
Deimos shifts and stretches while the driver speaks on the phone giving me clear signs we have reached the pack. I look up ahead to find the huge gates of Deimos’s pack. The pit of my stomach turns as nervousness floods every inch of me.
As the car passes through the gates, my nervousness increases by the second giving me the need to puke. I am back to the place I ran from. What new battles await me I wonder.
But everything shatters and disappears when I see my females huddled together, eagerly waiting. Their eyes searching uncertain. Scared. They think I haven’t come.
Rather than feelings of pain and fear a new feeling arises within me. A feeling of home.
Getting out of the car the screams and loud wails of my females reaches my ears. It pains me to see how not being by their side has hurt them. As I open my arms wide they run towards me surrounding me. They engulf me in warmth as they sob and hold me tight as I close my eyes and breathe in their scents.
“I am sorry for putting myself before you all. I am sorry for being selfish. I will never leave again, this is my truth. I am home.” As I tell them softly they sob harder pouring onto me how much they missed me. Actions speak louder than words.
As we all gather into the packhouse the females begin to spoil me. The pups bring me flowers as I sit upon the floor while my females surround me some platting my hair while the others brush scented oil upon my skin. This is and always has been a tradition.
There is no male in sight. It is a rule, while Luna is with her females the males are not allowed to disturb.
“We missed you so much, Alpha.” I hear Elriam’s voice behind me as I swiftly turn to look straight at her. I raise my hand towards her as she takes it and sits next to me. She puts her forehead upon mine closing her eyes as I do the same. She greets me with tearful eyes as I softly smile.
“I am sorry,” I tell her. “I am sorry, all of you,” I tell once more looking at all the females.
“It’s okay we understand. We always will.” They reply with soft smiles and warm eyes as my heart calms down.
“Sometimes I wonder if I should take a female as my mate,” I tell them with a teasing tone as they all look at me with widened eyes.
“Over my dead body, mate!” I hear Deimos’s voice boom outside the large door.
“Alpha keep quiet! This is not the way to spy!” Ragon hisses towards Deimos.
My females and I look at each other quietly with surprised faces and begin to laugh. We laugh from our belly. Our laughter mingling with one another dancing across the walls sparking a deep peace within us.
As the moon climbs high up the sky, we slowly bring our conversations to a stop. The female pups have cuddled up to their mother’s chests deep in sleep and my females’ faces are dull with tiredness.
“I think it’s time to rest,” I tell them softly as they all shake their heads.
“No, Alpha. We can talk more. We have a lot to say to you. A lot to ask you.” They all nod agreeing with one another as I smile warmly.
“I am not going anywhere. When daylight streams through your windows tomorrow and you open your eyes I’ll still be here.” I tell them softly as their lips wobble and cheeks flush. “Go to your mates and lay down your pups.”
As we all prepare to leave the room they each hug me and whisper, “See you tomorrow, Alpha.”
I walk slowly from the packhouse towards Deimos’s castle. As I look up at the night sky holding the bright moon, I smile. Home sweet home yes? The trees dance softly to the music of the breeze and I close my eyes taking a deep breath filling my lungs with their scent.