She knew that the pain was only going to get worse before it got better. That thought kept her up for nights on end, unable to rest or find comfort. As her debilitating illness progressed, she started to feel extreme pain and exhaustion. The fever grew worse, more head ache and her sight a bit blurry from the throbbing pain. Even the most basic tasks, every day activities, like eating or even getting out of bed in the morning, felt like impossible obstacles.
She had taken them all for granted in the past.
Now, the last thing on her mind was achievements. She needed to get her health together first. One step at a time, she thought. Then she would gather the strength to go back to building her career and businesses.
“I-I can’t believe it,” Samantha muttered under her breath as she curled up in bed, wanting to just disappear from the world.
But there was one thing Samantha held back; she was too scared to tell people especially her colleagues about her diagnosis – scared of their reactions. After much inner turmoil, she decided to tell a few close friends who could offer emotional support.
Samantha decided to confide in her Aunt.
She summoned up courage as she reached out to her Aunt and her mother.
“I’m so scared,” she admitted, tears streaming down her face.
“What am I going to do?”
Her Aunt reached out and embraced her, rubbing her back comfortingly.
“You have friends and family here that love and support you. We’ll do whatever we can to help and you’ll certainly be fine.” she whispered soothingly.
Samantha shook her head, her voice trembling. “No one knows what it’s like. No one can understand the battles I go through each day.”
Her Aunt sighed sadly. “Maybe not, but we can still be here for you and offer all the support we can.”
Samantha’s mother stepped closer then, her voice firm yet gentle.
“You should have listened to me earlier when I told you the mistakes I made, this wouldn’t have happened.” she said.
Samantha nodded miserably, feeling guilty for not heeding her mother’s advice earlier.
“I know, and I’m so sorry” sobbing softly.
“Samantha!” Her mother’s voice quivered with a hardness that Samantha had never heard before. Her voice laden with a heavy air of dread. Fear grew in her gut as her mother’s gaze pierced her with painful intensity.
“The doctor just informed me of another disease they just discovered you’re suffering from… you’re HIV positive.”
The words were like daggers slicing through Samantha’s soul as she crumbled to the ground, shock and anguish reverberating throughout her body. Her Aunt swiftly moved to her side, tears streaming down her face as she desperately tried to console Samantha, but nothing could stop the flood of tears and wailing that enveloped her.
As Samantha’s body fought against the relentless onslaught of the HIV virus, she was met with a determined spirit that refused to break under the strain of its grasp. She decided to fight the disease and to live. As her family stood by her side, she ventured into support groups talking to people who shared her pain, she worked tirelessly to find a way to cope with her condition, gathering knowledge from medical professionals, but each medical breakthrough only brought with it a thin thread of hope that would quickly unravel.
She sought to find comfort in anonymous support groups, attending private gatherings filled with stories of suffering. Amidst her struggles, she could not ignore the crushing weight of her diagnosis as it continued to bear down on her every thought.
One afternoon, after many hours spent searching for a way out of the darkness, she whispered to her mother in despair.
“I just don’t know how I will cope. How can I go on, Mum?” her voice wavering as tears rolled down her face. The weight of her condition was crushing her spirit.
Her mother kept encouraging her.
“I’m so proud of you, Samantha,” her mother said tearfully, “You’ve gained so much control over this condition and you are such a strong woman. But I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there in your childhood. If only I had been there, maybe you wouldn’t have had to go through this.” She said regretfully as she grasped her hand in regrets.
Though her mother said these words with love and sincere regret, Samantha felt a air of deep tension. She knew her mother meant well, but it was hard to hear her apologize for being absent during the years when Samantha had needed her the most. Forcing a smile, she accepted her mother’s comforting embrace, but inside, she was struggling with a range of complex emotions, working to hold back the tears threatening to pour out more.
But as time passed, Samantha was encouraged to accept her fate. With regular checkups, expert guidance and unwavering support from the people who loved her, she eventually found a way to live a normal life. Despite having to take pills every day, she still found moments of joy and connected with others who understood what she was going through.
On days when grief and helplessness threatened to overwhelm her weighing on her chest, she sought solace in talking things through with her family or cling on to music that soothed her soul.
Despite the ever-present battle waged against HIV, Samantha remained relentless and determined to find ways to cope and live a full life.
After several weeks of the sour events,
Samantha got dressed up this particular morning in a tailored black suit with a simple silk scarf around her neck instead of pearls or diamonds and headed out. Fresh soothing air hit her emanciated face, and to her surprise, the warm morning sun brought some clarity of mind. Maybe things will get better after all, thought Samantha optimistically as a tiny spark of hope lit up inside of her heart once more.
She walked past into a glass doorway without looking back once on all that lay behind it.