Okay, I don’t know what it was but when he said that I broke down, turning into his chest. It was like when someone asks if you’re okay when you’re really close to cracking, and it is just that last push.
“Oh, okay,” he wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair. “It’s okay, Violet, I gotcha,” he kissed the top of my head and let me cry away.
I calmed down enough to look at him and pull back.
“Is something wrong with me?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Why didn’t she like me?” I sniffled.
“Hey, Violet, that’s not your fault. Okay, Flower? Some people are just shitty, you should know that.” His thumb wiped my cheek. “It’s funny, well, not really, but Milan was telling me how he wasn’t feeling too close to Mara staring a few years back, he didn’t sleep with her last night. And look.”
I grimaced.
“I’m sorry, Derek. I- I didn’t know what to do, I panicked. She just- and they were, I didn’t know what to do,” I frowned and he shook his head.
“You’re fine, Flower. None of this was your fault,” he assured. “I’m sorry I left you alone. I should’ve acted earlier with her, I’m sorry, Flower. But, please don’t think this is your fault.”
“I know, but it’s hard for me sometimes. I just feel like I’ll fail at one point even though I’m trying my hardest, and today felt like I did, and I know something in me did,” his face paused for a second before a small smile stretched on his face but he quickly covered it, nodding. I felt that he was content inside him.
“Well, what do you think you’re gonna fail at?” he asked lightly.
“I don’t know, something,” I admitted. “Maybe at raising the twins, but part of me thinks that’s stupid because I feel I’m doing good with them.”
“You’re doing amazing, Violet. Perfect.” I looked at him and he nodded. “I think if nothing’s happened, and nothing will, just try not to pay attention to it? And you’re doing wonderful with everything, Flower. With working out, gaining weight, doing the Luna tasks, and raising our pups. Amazing.”
I smiled up at him as he wiped my eyes again.
“You said ‘it’s hard for me’, what?” he asked me softly.
I shrugged again. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough and that you could be better and I’m weighing you down. You know, like how I don’t like to be separated? Or- or how sometimes I stutter or have nightmares.” I breathed out.
“Not enough? Flower, Violet, you are so much more than that!” he shook his head, at a loss for words. “Weighing me down? Violet, you get me through my day, you give me something to look forward to. You’re my world! Everything to me, and I hope you know I would go to the ends of the Earth for you.”
I frowned as I felt tears brew.
“Be-”
“No, Violet. I love you. You make me so proud and seeing you with our pups?” he chuckled, tearing up himself. “I can’t even explain how happy it makes me. How happy you make me, Flower. You gave me everything, even when I was a dick to you,” I bit my lip.
“You gave me everything and more, Flower. You gave me a garden. Even without water, you managed to bloom. I couldn’t ask for more. I have you and two beautiful babies. Even if we never had them, I’d have you.”
“Do-” I choked. “Do you really mean that?” I asked.
“Every single word, Violet.” Benlyam pressed his lips to mine and I instantly responded.
It was so passionate, tender, caring. I felt like I had everything in that moment.
We pulled back, I was slightly out of breath.
“Bee?” He hummed, brushing some hair behind my ear. “I think I’m ready to go back to therapy.”
He smiled. “That’s awesome, Flower. I’m glad we talked about this, I liked that you told me how you feel.”
I blushed and laid my head back down on him.
“Why do you and Garret always say Hannah talks too much?” I asked out of nowhere after some time. She was undoubtedly my best friend.
He laughed. “Because she does. Hannah has all this information about people, and she has no one to tell because she’s not allowed to,” I nodded. “And when she first met Garret, he was still my Gamma and Mallory and I” I slightly flinched and he apologized, kissing me. “Neither of us had a mate so she had no one to talk to. Then you came along and she was so happy she could tell someone everything.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. She was always quieter because she didn’t have a friend like you, that she could tell things,” that made me feel warm inside. “So yeah, she talks a lot compared to how she used to be.”
I smiled. I liked it when we talked, even if Hanah was telling me things I already knew, it was fun to talk to someone about it. Like a few days ago she was telling me about her sex life with the pregnancy, asking me if everything was normal. It was an amusing conversation.
We talked aimlessly for a few more moments before we started drifting.
“Goodnight. I love you, Benlyam,” I whispered.
“Goodnight. I love you, Violet.”
—–
THE END
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‘The Alpha’