My eyes opened and I saw Benlyam look over at me. I felt a breakdown coming my way. I shut my eyes to keep tears in as my throat constricted. My breathing was uneven.
… Just calm down, Violet…
“Honey?” Benlyam called out softy. He walked over and made sure he was putting space between us because past encounters hurt him.
… He probably hates me…
“Violet, I don’t hate you. Tell me what’s wrong…” he pleaded as he took a step closer.
I sat up to make distance. I opened my eyes when he came closer. I shook my head when he hesitantly reached for me.
“I’m s-sorry a-about Z-zaxton…” a sob cut me off and my free hand went to my mouth.
He frowned at me, hurt at my statement. He knew what I was thinking. I was putting the blame on myself. He opened his arms, “Come here, Violet,” he whispered and when I didn’t make a move, he came to me.
He hugged me against him, rubbing my back as his shirt became wet with my tears. Benlyam rocked me lightly against him to calm me down.
“Violet, listen, none of this is your fault,” he pulled back to look down at me. He moved his hand to cup my cheek and I flinched as he touched me, I nodded. It was, I should’ve told him about those letters long ago.
He winced as he wiped a tear. “He’ll be fine, everything is going to be okay. No one is going to hurt you or our kids. I promise. I have you…” he whispered as I hiccuped.
One of his hands went to hover over my bump.
“Can I?” he whispered. I looked up at him and swallowed. I didn’t want anyone to touch, to be honest.
I lifted my hand to grab his hand and carefully, cautiously placed it on me. He let out a breath as my hand left his and his eyes locked. I kept looking from his face to my stomach.
He gave a light rub and suddenly he took a sharp breath and pulled his shaky hand back. I looked at him oddly. That’s the second time he had a peculiar reaction. He met my eyes and slowly pulled back from me, laying me down so I could sleep.
“I don’t hate you, honey,” he wiped the rest of my tears. “I absolutely adore you.”
I frowned as a wave of exhaustion hit me. He pulled back as I slipped under.
His house looked the same but felt different. He took me up to his room to rest, I tried to argue that I could go in my room but he hated the idea and commanded me to stay in his room.
His house looked the same but felt different. He took me up to his room to rest, I tried to argue that I could go in my room but he hated the idea and commanded me to stay in his room.
I was thankful, I didn’t want to ever go in that room again. Too many issues arose there.
Benlyam made sure to tell me about the changes in his room. He said he ‘Violet-proofed’ it. I didn’t know what that meant, but he explained. Inhalers were placed around the room so I could get to one if there was an emergency.
One in my nightstand, in his, in the bathroom, at the desk. Anywhere. He also had the mirror changed. And all the picture frames had a plastic covering instead of glass.
He only had one picture in his room. On his night stand was the sonogram. I almost cried when I saw it.
It made me happy.
We had a talk as well.
I told him about how I was debating moving on and starting a life for the babies and myself. He almost completely broke at the thought of his mate and children leaving him. But, he said if that’s what I wanted, he would arrange something.
Something inside me shook at the thought of him letting us go. I prayed it was Sage.
After that, he had a very stern conversation with me about the notes he left me. Benlyam was very upset that I didn’t tell him about it. He kept his cool while I explained that I didn’t want him to get hurt.
He looked at me like I was crazy but then I explained that’s why I broke down yesterday.
… Because he did. Zaxton was hurting…
He said I should worry about it, that he’d be fine. Everything would be fine. And even though he said nothing was my fault, I kept thinking that none of this would’ve happened if I told him the first time.
He addressed his name. I didn’t want to talk about it, but he told me he’d order an ointment that would treat it.
He stayed with me until I fell asleep. He made sure to keep the lights on, he learned very quickly in the hospital that I needed them on. Right before I went to bed, one thought was on my mind, I didn’t want to leave him.