I did as Derek said and got some lunch, it was just some leftover soup from a few days ago but it was fine, and since he wasn’t breathing down my neck I was able to eat as little as I wanted.
Truthfully, I wanted to gain weight because I didn’t like how I looked. It was just harder because Derek wants me to eat a lot but it was so just so hard to do that. Reseda said that was fine and it would take time.
I ended up taking a nap since I had a lot of time to spare and really nothing else to do. I wanted to cook or bake but I didn’t want to waste Derek’s food on useless things.
I dreamt of Derek choking me in the shower again and as much as I willed myself to wake up so I wouldn’t have to endure the memories, I wasn’t able to. His hands wrapped around my throat repeatedly, and once that was done I was thrown back to him making me stare at my ugly body in the mirror.
When I woke up I was sweaty and panicked. I took a shower to calm myself, it was close to that time so I got dressed in something nicer. I wore dark jeans and a button-down long-sleeved shirt. It was covering and dark so I felt comfortable in it. I also applied the makeup I had, I hoped it looked adequate because I had no mirror and I haven’t touched it since before my coma. Didn’t makeup have an expiration date?
I finished up and walked downstairs, towards the end I noticed Derek on a couch watching something. I awkwardly stood at the end of the stairs debating on where to go. Garret and Hannah weren’t here yet.
“Violet, come sit, they’ll be here very shortly,” Derek spoke from his position, glancing over at me. Obediently, I walked over and rigidly sat on the chair.
An uncomfortable silence filled around us but soon was disrupted by the sound of a doorbell. I flinched and Derek glanced at me before he got up, giving me his hand to help. I stared at it for a second, hesitating.
Those hands choked me.
“I won’t hurt you,” I lifted my hand to his. I saw a small smile form on his lips and he gently pulled me up.
He didn’t let go once I was up, instead, he pulled me with him to the door to open it. He
did release my hand once the door was open, presenting Garret and Hannah.
They smiled and Derek invited them in.
“Hey Derek,” Garret said, giving him his hand and they did some hug-hand-shake thing. Chris has done the same move before.
“Garret, Hannah,” he waved to Hannah and she smiled back.
Garret lightly greeted me and Hannah beamed at me.
“Vi!”
“Hey,” I said quietly.
Derek led us to the dining table and as soon as we sat down, the chefs put down our dishes and drinks. I quietly thanked them and they nodded, leaving us. I sat by Derek on one side of the table and Garret and Hannah sat on the other.
They were talking amongst themselves and I kept quiet, slowly eating because I felt like if I filled up too quickly that it would look bad and Derek would be mad at me. My dream hit me, him choking me in the shower, the way he yelled at me for what Mallory did. It was so vivid I couldn’t help the shiver that ran through my body.
I felt him glance at me but I kept my eye-line trained on the plate, willing myself to keep my fear and tears in check so I wouldn’t embarrass him in front of his guests.
They were discussing a family trip Garret and Hannah went on.
“So, once we got there, we were minding our business and I was introduced to her family,” Hannah smiled as Garret told the story, “and then there was a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and it was this little scrawny white boy!” Garret boosted laughter, “and he was so small, and you know I’m not,” Derek laughed along with him, my wolf shuddered at the sound.
I didn’t know what was so funny about it, maybe my sense of humor was wrung out of me a long time ago, but what was so funny about ‘scrawny little white boy’? Derek and I were both white, Hannah has pale skin, although her eyes were slanted so maybe it was offensive to call her white, I’m not sure. Garret was the only one who wasn’t white, he had dark skin.
Maybe it wasn’t his race but his size? In that case- I’m scrawny. Am I funny looking to the eye? That blonde girl said I look like a skeleton, was it funny? Chris would often call me skinny, laugh, and then proceed to rape and cut me. I was funny-looking?
“And he was about a few years younger than me, and he starts yelling at me, saying I have to break up with Hannah, mind you- I’m her fucking mate, and I just lost it!¨ Garret laughed.
Hannah frowned, despite the amusement in her eyes, “he threatened to punch him! He was half the size of Garret!” Hannah defended.
Derek laughed again, “I would’ve said the same thing! Why would he even say that to begin with?” he asked Garret.
“This doofus was angry that I was her mate because apparently he was like her friend through middle school and high school and he had a crush on her,” he rolled his eyes.
Derek laughed again, “that’s-” he laughed, “so, did he leave?”
“No, this guy kept pestering me, lil’ piece of paper he was!” Garret and Derek both chortled at the comparison.
“Garry was so close to hitting him! I just convinced Garry to leave him alone,” Hannah sighed.
Derek laughed, “which pack were you guys at? Were you still in this territory?”
Garret nodded, taking a sip of his drink, “yeah, you know we don’t really have warrior packs, he was just a skinny, fit-ish guy, that’s not the point though. He was human, we were seeing her family and they usually go into town. Remember I told you that?” he shrugged.
They continued their conversation, often making jokes and laughing and they soon finished their meal and the chefs came to take the dishes. I saw Derek glance at my plate before and gave me a look at the fact that I didn’t finish.