I woke up in the hospital. I stormed through the hospital demanding to see my Flower. Nurses and doctors were yelling at me, but I didn’t give a damn.
Garret had to grab me and physically smack some sense into me.
I had a panic attack while Garret rushed Violet to the hospital, she was currently in a coma. I demanded to see her, and he denied me, telling me I was too unsettled to see her.
I eventually calmed down enough to where he told the nurse I was ready to see her. But he warned me, it wasn’t pretty. At all.
The moment I walked in the unit and saw her thin, pale body with tubes running in her, I buckled in pain and distress. I ended up passing out again, having yet another panic attack. Something about seeing my mate just- it was unnerving.
After I woke up from that I stormed back into her room. I ignored everyone, growling out a warning to them. Who the fuck did they think they were? Denying me of seeing my mate. I pulled a chair to the side of the bed and sat down.
I’ve been in the chair since. It’s been two days and I haven’t moved.
I leaned over the hospital bed and held her hand, often pressing kisses to her cold skin.
How could I have let this happen? Why was I so fucking mean to her?
‘Cause you’re a self-centered dick…’ Zaxton smacked.
I didn’t even have the energy to retort.
Garret would come in every so often trying to coax me out, or at least to even leave the room. He even brought his mate a few times. She looked shocked when she saw Violet but then tried to get me to get up and do things.
“Derek, come on man.” Right now Garret was in with me. I had my head resting on the bed by her leg and my hand holding her cold, feeble one. “You have duties to uphold. The king still wants to know what happened with Mallory.”
A small growl left my lips at the mention of that pathetic raper.
“Derek,” he growled, “Man up.” My eyes switched to his, blazing. “Look, this sucks, but you know what? There is only so much we can do now.”
I growled again at him.
“How do you think she’d feel if she woke up and saw you like this? She has the bond just as much as you do,” Garret pressed, “Go take a shower and eat something, you have a title and duties.” Garret turned after giving me a pointed look and then walked out, leaving us.
I looked at her faded face. Her face has gotten noticeably thinner, she was already so skinny, I hated that she was able to lose more weight. Right on her left cheek was a bruising handprint, one I caused. It was a light blue in the center, green surrounding it, and slightly yellow at the edges. Her light pink lips were so pale, they were once soft and bright. Her eyelashes rested on her cheeks, some mascara in the corners from the water.
I sighed and kissed her limp hand.
Her wrists were wrapped up and checked daily.
Reseda was close to tears when she’d wrap them. I knew Reseda liked Violet- it hurt her to see my Flower in such a dark state.
I felt like I was dying. Little by little.
I’m a bastard. She was right. I am a bastard who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. And for no reason. Those girls were useless to me- they were my precious Flower. I always had to rely on my hand to fix the problem.
Why did I ever lay a hand on her? I promised myself I’d never do such a thing, not ever would I hit my mate. But I did. I said I would never treat my mate the way my fucking father did to my mother- but look where we are.
I caused her a panic attack, I caused her to cut herself and I caused her to attempt suicide. This was far past ‘punishing herself’ as she so ethically put it.
I smacked her for telling me the truth after I berated her. I’m selfish. I’m ignorant. I’m a horrendous mate to her. I was so weighed down with the burden of guilt.
My throat constricted and a headache started to form.
I took a deep breath, but my body shook with an inaudible sob.
“Flower…”