A headache formed from my lack of air, he shoved his face in mine again. I felt tears form in my eyes and he gave another squeeze to my neck causing a silent cry to leave my lips. I felt his nails dig into and slightly pierce my skin.
He hated what he was doing, I felt that inside of me, he couldn’t stand the idea of hurting me, he wasn’t trying to rip into my neck, he was crossed and confused. Angry, betrayed. He couldn’t believe what just happened, especially with the people that were involved.
He slammed his hand against the wall beside my head. The sheet around my body was now soaking, freezing wet and clung to my body. My vision swayed, blackness seeping in the edges.
Derek released my neck and I slumped down to the shower floor, gasping, choking, and crying all the while cold rain pelted my shaking figure. He kneeled and yanked the sheet from my body leaving me vulnerable.
He growled once more before leaving me cold, scared, and alone in the shower. I deserved to freeze.
I hugged my legs to myself, sobbing, my throat screaming at every noise that passed. What did I ever do to him? Wasn’t your mate supposed to protect you and care for you? Never put you in harm’s way?
‘You’re the reason why his Beta is dead!’
‘He meant something to him!’
I pulled at my hair in frustration and hatred towards myself. A small scream left my lips. This is why he hated me. This! So worthless.
I sat, cocooned in my arms, the water freezing me. I don’t know how long I sat there, but I had to get out. I was shaking. I wrapped a towel around my body and got dressed in my covering pajamas. I laid in bed, my mind kept replaying the events that happened mere hours (has it been that long?) ago.
My door creaked open and on alert, I stiffened and looked over. Derek stood in the doorway, closing the door and making his way over to my bed. He was dressed in a new pair of sweatpants but was still shirtless.
Shamefully my eyes raked over his chest, muscles rippled all over him.
He seemed very tense and came onto my bed, and then positioned himself over my stiff figure. He just tried to choke me… He didn’t want to but…
He put his forearms on each side of my head and looked into my eyes. The lights were left on, and I saw the small shine of hurt in his eyes. He slowly lowered his body onto mine, backing up so his head rested on my stomach.
( ‘He just killed a friend, comfort him.’ )
I froze. What was I supposed to do?
He groaned before pulling up my shirt, I made a sound of denial, I couldn’t go through that again. But he only pulled my shirt up enough so his face was pressed against my skin, quietly shushing me in the process.
I then realized he was seeking comfort. The mate bond would give him that, with me of course.
I pulled my still cold and shaky hands up and carefully placed them on his bareback. He stiffened slightly but when I started to massage him, he relaxed into me. I kept my tears at bay, scared of what he would do if I started crying.
“Flower, your hands are so cold,” he spoke against my bare skin. I halted my movements on his smooth skin and began to pull them back. He grunted, “that didn’t mean stop.”
Hesitantly I put my hands back in motion and soon, he fell asleep on me, and then I did as well.
When I woke up, Derek was still sleeping on me. He looked so peaceful and even kind while he was sleeping. In-person, he wasn’t.
He shifted slightly, hugging me to him. My hands went to his hair and lightly, aimlessly played with the strands. He shifted again and I pulled back, but then a low growl shook my body.
“No.” he grumbled and I held my breath. “Flower, put your hands back.” My face got warm and I did as he said.
After a few moments, he pulled back, rolling over to the other side. He glanced at me and flicked down to my body before looking back up into my eyes.
“I’m sorry I let that happen, I should’ve- are you okay?” he asked. “You know, from this morning?”
I nodded moving my eyesight and pulling my shirt down that he yanked up last night.
“Words.” he reminded me.”Yes,” I whispered, my voice scratchy from the events he did. He hummed and turned his head to the ceiling, closing his eyes and laying an arm over them. I carefully got off the bed and went to the bathroom, doing my business. I returned to find him gone.
I sighed and got ready for the day, dressing in a black long-sleeved shirt and some black leggings.
I had made an appointment to see the therapist, but now I didn’t want to go. There was no point and I doubt he wanted to deal with my pathetic self, just another dumb girl to burden him with my problems.
I started to get a headache, so I laid down trying to soothe it, but then hunger picked at my gut. I sighed, hauling myself out of bed and going downstairs, getting some cereal to fix the hunger. I knew I had to eat more because I was so thin and scrawny, but I thought about the blonde that Derek is always with. She is skinny, and if I want my mate to like me, I need to be like that.
I finished, washing the dish, and walked into the home theater, wasting some hours. I tried to distract my mind but it fell back to Mallory.
Why?
He was so nice to me, he tried with me, tried more than Derek. So why did he do that?
…”I just want to let you know you can trust me.”…
…”I’m not going to hurt you.”…
But he did.