Ace’s Point Of View
Riaz
I’ve always cared about him.
Back then when I found him trapped in the woods till this moment. He was always cute, like a little baby. Whining when angry or sad and giggling happily when he was happy. He had the best smile in the world and I promised to keep him smiling. With Akira’s help, I took him under my wing, protecting and guiding him all the way. I saw in him my little brother that I had lost. Because of this, I never got to realize his feelings.
I never knew he saw me more than a brother. I never knew his feelings were that deep. I realized too late. I got confused. I didn’t know what to do after that. Should I accept his feelings? What does accepting his feelings even mean? I didn’t want to lose him but I wasn’t ready to welcome his feelings.
They were foreign to me. I never liked guys. I thought I shouldn’t give him false hope by lying about my feelings so I had to reject him. I just never knew it would result in him running away. My head hurts so badly I can’t even think straight. He said I kissed him. When? How? What in the world? I don’t remember doing that to him. I don’t think I ever did what he accused me of doing.
“What in the world did he mean by that? Did I ever do that?”
“Ace?” A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned and saw Alexa approaching. I looked away from her and looked up at the moon. It looked so gloomy tonight. Is it because of the funeral or is it because I feel like shit?
“What are you thinking about?” She asked as she took a seat beside me on the grass. She stayed silent. I turned to see what she was doing. She was gazing at the moon.
“It looks gloomy, don’t you think?” She asked and I hummed.
“I wonder why,” I said as I breathed out.
“My dad used to tell me something. The way the moon shines depends on your feeling. If you’re feeling delighted, it’ll be radiant. If you’re sad, it’ll look gloomy,” she said as she turned to me. “So care to talk about what’s bothering you? I’m not the best listener but I’m better than the trees you were talking with.” She said and I chuckled.
I sighed and laid my back on the grass. She laid beside me and said, “what’s with you?”
“I don’t know, Alexa. I’m just… confused,”
“Why?”
“You know why. I thought I did something good by not deceiving him and telling him I didn’t feel the same way but it only ended up blowing up out of proportion. I feel like an asshole.”
She shrugged. “Well, you are,”
I frowned. “Aren’t you supposed to comfort me?”
“Part of comforting you is letting you know that fact. I ain’t gonna sugarcoat things,”
I pouted sadly and she chuckled.
“Just tell me why you think I’m an asshole,”
“Brother,”
“Huh?”
“You always call him your brother. Not even your friend! You treat him like a kid who can’t even lift a finger. He’s eighteen, Ace. An adult!”
“I just thought…”
“Well, I don’t see why he fell for such a old lad but-”
I frowned offensively, “I’m not old,”
“Really? You’re six years older than he is,”
“And that was why I saw him as a brother. He is so much younger than me. He’s the same age as my little brother.”
Her eyes lit up. “you have a brother?”
I nodded. “yeah,”
“Well, where is he? Why isn’t he here at the pack?” She asked and my face fell.
“He’s dead,” I said simply and her smile faded.
“Oh… sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine,”
I was expecting her questions about how my brother died but she didn’t ask, which I was grateful for.
“Riaz wouldn’t have been that heartbroken just because you call him brother. What else did you do?” She asked and I gulped.
“Um… well-”
“Spill it.”
“I don’t know how true is it but um… he claimed that I kissed him once?”
Her eyes widened in shock. “You did what?!” She exclaimed and I quickly covered her mouth with my palm to stop her from making any more noise.
“Shh! Keep it down! It’s midnight.”
She nodded frantically against my palm and I let her mouth go. “You kissed him but still rejected him? Are you out of your mind?!” She whisper yelled and I groaned.
“That’s the problem! I don’t know anything about it.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion. “what?”
“I don’t remember it happening. I have no memory of that. I mean, if I really did that then there would be no way I could have forgotten, right?”
She nodded. “True. It’s not a small matter. It’s a kiss we’re talking about here.”
“I know, right?”
We let out a deep breath simultaneously and Alexa tsked. “If only I had the ability to look into your hear to fish out the memory,”
“I would certainly appreciate it if you could because I’m going crazy right now. He’s out there doing heaven knows what in the middle of nowhere. There are vampires lurking around and… I don’t know what I might do if he gets hurt.”
I dabbed my hand across my face and sighed. I turned to Alexa only to find her side eyeing me.
“What?”
She lied on her side and asked, “have you ever had feelings for Riaz?”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you I saw him as a-”
“I know, I know but you’ve never, for once, felt something for him? Like… your heart didn’t skip a beat or race when you’re with him? You know, something like that.”
I gazed down. Did it ever happen?
“You’re hesitating. That means you’ve felt something like that.”
“No.”
She cocked her brows teasingly.
“I don’t know. Maybe? Ugh! Stop staring at me like that!”
She burst into a loud laughter which only made me more embarrassed.
“See, my advice for you is to figure your shit out before Riaz comes back. Hopefully, he will buy before then, get your feelings in check. What do you really feel for him? Ask yourself that question.”
What do I really feel for Riaz?
What could it be?