Nolan’s losing his shyness. He runs over and stops next to his mom. I hold out my knuckles and he gives me a fist bump.
A young woman sits on the couch, fiddling with her phone.
“This is Ashley,” Denali says. “She’s going to babysit Nolan while we go out.”
I give her the hairy eyeball, because I don’t trust anyone to watch our kid. But then, I know jack about watching a kid, so who am I to judge?
“We won’t be long,” Denali tells Ashley as she puts the wildflowers in a vase of water.
I place my hand on her lower back as we head out to my car. It’s been years since I’ve had a date. Maybe since high school. But being a gentleman to Denali comes easy to me. I must be channeling my last foster father, a geeky but kind man who modeled perfect manners at all times. I felt like such a fish out of water with them. I know now it was because I was a shifter, I always had that sense I didn’t belong. I couldn’t understand all the nice people living placid lives.
No wonder I joined the Marines straight out of high school.
I open the door for Denali and wait for her to get in.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks when I climb in my side and start the car.
I laugh. “Truthfully? I was remembering how my last foster father used to hold doors open for his wife. He was a good man.” I pull out and head toward a restaurant Laurie picked out for us. He promised it would be romantic.
“What happened to your parents?” Denali asks gently.
I shrug. I haven’t told anyone in years. Since high school, probably. “My dad killed my mom.” My throat closes on the words and a shudder runs through me.
I’m grateful Denali withholds the usual gasp. She does lay her slender hand on my knee, though. “Were you there?” Denali whispers.
“Yeah. I mean, I think so. I don’t remember the actual killing. But I remember her body. Her throat was torn out. I couldn’t believe how much blood there was. I know now he must’ve been the lion. And his animal killed her when he was in a drunken rage.”
Denali clutches her stomach.
“I know. It’s disgusting.”
“I’m just… sorry. I’m sorry you went through that.”
“So you were raised by humans?”
I nod. “Yeah. Had no idea I was a shifter until the war. But this isn’t date-worthy conversation.”
“No, it is.” Denali sounds firm. “We don’t really know each other yet. We shared a traumatic experience and have a wonderful kid to show for it. But other than favorite cookies and flowers and color, we don’t know each other.”
“You’re right.” I pull up at the restaurant and park. Suddenly I feel trapped by our past. I don’t know how to ever move past it and into something brighter.
Red flutters on the edges of my vision, and suddenly, I’m back in the bowels of Data-X.
I’M STRAPPED to the table, head and limbs secured. My gut is on fire. Even if I could move, I’m not sure I want to look.
Someone moves around the table. White lab coat. Smyth, Director of Data-X experiments.
“Doctor?” an accented voice murmurs just before shoes click on the floor, along with a tap of a cane. I close my eyes at the smell of expensive cologne. “How is our prime subject?”
“Better.
“Did you ever find the breeder he was so taken with?”
“Unfortunately, no.” Smyth jabs a needle into my arm with more force than necessary. The sting barely registers in the mass of pain that’s my broken body.
“Do you want me to have my men find her?”
“Do as you will, Santiago. The Alpha Project is my main concern.”
I grit my teeth-whatever Smyth just pumped me with burns like acid in my blood.
“Of course. In your pursuit of the master race, do not forget who your donors are.” The voice fades as fresh pain drags me into darkness… My last thought before I lose consciousness: first, kill Smyth. Then Santiago.
“NASH? NASH?”
Fuck. “Give me a second.”
“You went somewhere for a minute. More than a minute, actually.”
“Yeah,” I press a thumb and finger into my eyes, trying to get my vision to clear.
“You just had a flashback.”
Gritting my teeth, I nod.
“Do you get them often?”
“All the time.”
“What can I do?”
“Talk to me. Tell me something.”
“Um. Okay. Nolan did art at preschool today. They learned about animals of the jungle. He drew a lion with lightning shooting out of its eyes.”
A laugh slices through me, painful at first. My chest eases a little.
“I’m going to get it framed.” Denali’s voice washes over me, warm as sunshine.
“Denali…” I need to tell her. I’ll never be fit to be a part of Nolan’s life. “These visions, I’ll never be free.”
“You want to talk about it?”
I shake my head.
“Maybe you should.”
“No. It’s not safe. Can’t risk my lion taking over.”
“He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“You don’t know that. He’s a killer.”
“Tell me about when he first came out.”
“Yeah. It was in Afghanistan, in the middle of a firefight. My unit was pinned down. Watched my friends die around me. And then everything went black.”
“He came out to protect you.” Denali rests a hand on the back of my neck. Her touch is enough to relax the taut muscles.
“I thought I was going crazy.”
“I’ll bet.” Denali’s fingers swirl over my skin as she muses, “Twenty is late to first see your animal. You must have repressed him a long time. He saw his chance and took it.”
“He comes out in the presence of death.”
“Or a mate. I met him that night.”
“I can’t let him out. There’s no telling what he’d do.” Who he’d kill. All I have to do is remember the sight of my mother’s dead body to want to never, ever let my lion out again.