“There’s no but!” she protests, except I’m sure there is. I keep replaying the scene trying to figure out what I fucked up, but I can’t think of anything.
I park underneath the building, and we take the elevator up to the floor where we rehearse, and that’s when I acknowledge that this day truly has become a clusterfuck.
Cadence is standing outside the studio with Lake, and both look deeply unhappy. Worse, they appear to be waiting for me.
“Cadence needs to talk to you,” Lake says.
What. The actual. Fuck?
I seriously could throat punch Lake right now. He should be clam-jamming Cadence for me, not bringing her to our rehearsal.
Seriously not cool.
I reach for Nadia’s hand because I swear to fuck, I already feel her slipping away. “Okay,” I say with fake casualness.
“I need to talk to you alone,” she says.
Nadia tries to let go of my hand. I refuse to release it.
“No, that’s not cool with me. Nadia is my person”–why the fuck can I still not call her my girlfriend?–”so she stays.”
Cadence’s nostrils flare. She puts her hands on her hips. “Okay,” she says a little too loudly. Loudly enough that everyone inside the studio can hear her next words. “I’m pregnant. I guess I’ll just tell everyone at once. I’m pregnant, and it’s yours.”
The fuck it is.
My mother raised me better than to say the first words that come to mind. I’m sure Cadence is upset and stressed and overly emotional right now. Me being a dick won’t help.
Beside me, I feel Nadia panicking, and I fear it could turn into a full-on attack.
I try to keep my voice low and calm. “Okay, I seriously doubt that. I used protection both times I was with you.” I glance at my bandmate, who looks like he wants to murder me. “What about Lake?” I ask.
Nadia’s fighting me for the freedom of her hand.
Fuck. Of course she doesn’t want to let Cadence see her freak out. I also don’t want her to leave my side. I need to be with her if she has an attack. This is my fault, and I need to fix it.
“The timing isn’t right for it to be Lake’s,” Cadence says with full authority. “It has to be yours.”
Nadia tears her hand away and whirls, dashing for the elevator.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Okay, well–” I stare at Cadence then Lake. I know the right things to say here. That if it’s mine, I’ll take responsibility, I will support her through whatever choice she makes. Be with her all the way. But I just know this is bullshit.
I’m fucking sure of it.
“Hang on.” I hold up a finger and turn and dash to the elevator, slipping through the doors right before they close.
Nadia–my sweet, sweet girl–is on her hands and knees on the floor, struggling for breath.
I want to go in hot–rush to spit out a thousand words that will take away the sting of this unfortunate turn of events. I want to promise her that this changes nothing, beg her to still be mine, but I know my own frantic energy isn’t going to help her breathe.
So I drop to the floor with her. I lie on my back with my head near one of her hands, so I can see her face. I don’t touch her. I don’t try to say anything.
Nadia’s unsuccessful attempts to inhale don’t improve, but they don’t get worse, either.
“It’s not true. I really don’t think it’s true.”
Nadia won’t look at me–she’s staring at a spot on the floor, but she nods.
“You agree? She’s just freaking out because I sang you a song.”
Nadia sits back on her heels and straightens her spine, some of her breath leaving with a heaved sigh. “Probably.” The word sounds bitter. There are tears at the corners of her eyes. I want to brush them away, but I don’t dare touch her yet.
I’m not sure how well she’d receive it.
I push up to my elbows, my feet nearly hitting the wall behind Nadia. “I’m so sorry for this. If I could go back in time and never hook up with Cadence, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
The elevator dings. We’re on the first floor, and the gatekeeper is standing there. When he sees us, his brows slam down, and he surges in. He’s coming for me.
“Whoa, whoa.” I scramble to my feet as I’m helped-hauled by a brawny bruiser of a Russian. “We’re talking.”
He asks her a question in Russian.
Nadia’s inability to breathe returns as she makes fish-out-of-water sounds and climbs to her feet.
The elevator doors start to shut, and the gatekeeper throws out a hand to hold them open then yanks me out.
“No, no, no, no.” I surge forward to jump back on before the doors shut. “Dude, you’re upsetting her more. Just get the fuck off and let us talk.”
Nadia holds up a hand, and for one horrible second, I think she’s going to have the guy throw me out, but then she grabs a fistful of my shirt and pulls me back in and shoves the gatekeeper out.
The doors shut, and I hit the button for the top floor, but it won’t go anywhere because I don’t have the keycard. Nadia produces hers and pushes the button for her floor. She’s still hiccuping and choking for breath, her body in a state of emergency.
“May I hold you?”
She shakes her head.
Fuck.
The elevator goes up, and she sags against the wall. “I don’t need you to save me, Flynn,” she says, closing her eyes like she’s exhausted.
“That’s not what I’m doing. What are you talking about? Hang on, Nadia. What’s even happening right now?”
“You’ll have to save her.”