“If you change your mind, Interpol knows he’s in Antwerp and are awaiting your call.”
“I won’t change my mind.”
“All right. What do you need from us, Adrian?”
“I let Kateryna go. I’m coming home on the first flight out in the morning.”
“We’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Yeah. Da skorava.” I end the call.
The heaviness in the pit of my stomach hasn’t lessened one bit.
The thought of returning home–or to what has become home–should be a relief. Nadia needs me. I will be with my bratva brothers. But I can’t even picture myself there.
I’ve changed so much in the past four days. Kat changed me. And I don’t even know how I’ll make it through one day without her.
Kat
In the Uber on the way to the hotel, I take off Adrian’s leather jacket and lift it to my face to breathe in his scent. At least I have this one thing of his to remember him by.
I stuff it in the shopping bag and put on the new one before I get out.
In the hotel, I find the door to our hotel room ajar and the room filled with men. Six pistols swing and point at me.
I drop the shopping bag and lift my hands in the air. “Easy, boys,” I say in my mother tongue.
My father sits in the shadows in the chair by the window.
“Papa.”
He signals to his men, and two of them push past me into the hallway to inspect it.
“Where is he?”
“Oh, see that’s the thing.” I toss my hair and stride in like I’m the queen of the castle. “There is no he.”
My father’s eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“I needed to know for myself if it was true.”
“What are these riddles?” he snaps.
“You sex traffic women. I found out all about it.” None of this is a lie, and I let my disgust and bitterness show as fury, even though I’m trembling with fear. This isn’t my usual demeanor with my father. I can be petulant and bratty, but that still came from a lack of power.
This is the first time I’ve met my dad as an equal. A woman, not a child. For the first time, I’m not afraid of losing his love–a love I probably never had in the first place.
“I wanted you to see how it felt to believe your own daughter was being abused the way those women are.”
My father surges to his feet, and it takes everything in me not to flinch. The truth is, as much as I desperately wanted this man to love me, as much as I sulked and bratted and played the opposite role of good little girl, underneath it all, I’m terrified of him.
I’ve seen him kill a man right in front of me. Not recently–it was years ago when I was quite young–one of his men angered him, and he slit his throat in our living room. My mom had grabbed me and locked the two of us in a bathroom until my father apologized and promised he’d never let his wife or daughter see violence in their home again. I think I compartmentalized that incident because I didn’t know how to reconcile it with the man I needed in my life to survive.
But I don’t need him anymore. I honestly don’t want him anymore. If Adrian had taken the time to ask me what I wanted, I could have told him that. If he thinks sparing my father was a gift to me, he’s wrong.
He stalks to me now and fists my new coat to shake me. “What are you saying?” he shouts.
I beam up at him like I’m proud. “I kidnapped myself,” I tell him.
He releases the jacket and backhands me. I hit the floor, pain exploding in my cheek. I’m both shocked and unsurprised. He’s never hit me before, but I certainly knew he was capable of it.
Determined not to break, I cling to my indignation and scramble up to my feet. “How did it feel?” I demand.
“Leave us,” my father commands his men. “Go to the hangar.” They file out of the room, shutting the door behind them.
I can’t decide if it’s better or worse to be alone with him.
He slaps me again, this time with an open hand, and I realize my old life has finally and completely crumbled. I can never go back to being that needy unloved girl who was acting out to get her father’s attention. This is it. I’m all grown up.
And I have no idea how I will come out of this.
Adrian
Sleep feels impossible tonight, so I pace the hotel room some more before I think to call Nadia and let her know I’m on my way.
“Hi Adrian,” she says in English. Good–she’s practicing the language. That will be a huge step in her feeling more comfortable in Chicago.
“Hey. How are you?”
“Everything’s fine here. How about you?”
“I’m heading back tomorrow.”
“So…what happened? Did you…finish it?”
I sit on the bed and rest my elbows on my knees. “Ah…no. No, I didn’t, Nadia.” I clear my throat. “I’m going to let it go.” Guilt and shame crowd me from both directions.
“What happened, Adrian?”
“No, nothing happened. Everything’s okay.”
“Adrian, can you do something for me?”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Yeah, anything.”
“Stop lying. I know something happened, and I know something’s wrong. I’m not so fragile that you have to protect me. I deserve to know what’s going on.”
My heart thuds painfully against my sternum. “Yeah. You’re right. Okay…” I take a deep breath and let it out, stabbing my fingers through my hair. “I had a lead on Leon Poval. He has a daughter who is about the same age as you living in England.”
Nadia sucks in a shocked breath but says nothing.
“I, um, I kidnapped her.”