I take a bite, conscious of his gaze glued to my lips. A trickle of juice escapes my lips and Carlos lunges as my tongue flicks it away. He stops himself and swallows.
“Sedona. I-I have so many things I want to say, but none of them seem good enough. I’m sorry. I’ll start with that. I’m sorry.”
I look at him from under my lashes. “For what, exactly?”
“For what my pack did to you. I can never take it back. Never make it up to you. But the fates know I want to try.”
I draw in a breath. I have to ask this question. I need to know how much of what happened in Mexico was biology-the full moon and two alphas locked together-and how much is real. “What about what you said back in the cell-that you weren’t sorry it happened?”
Carlos clenches his jaw and busies himself with tearing off a piece of bread and dipping it in the Nutella. He feeds it to me. “That’s also true.” His voice has the timber of a heavy confession, like he doesn’t want to admit it, but can’t lie.
I’m dismayed by how much lighter his admission makes me feel. How far have I fallen for this guy?
I’m loving the chocolate bread treat and I lift my chin to urge him to give me more. He does, immediately. I don’t have any comparisons, but it’s hard to imagine a more attentive lover.
“Sedona, I don’t wish to force myself on you. The last thing I want is to make this all harder. But I’m also incapable of letting you go. I’m not saying that to scare you, I’m just trying to explain why I’m here, following you like a stray dog who smells meat.”
My lips twitch at his comparison and I see relief seep across his expression.
“Let me serve as your escort on this trip. I know you came to forget me. To forget what happened. But I’ve been watching you for days, mi amor, and your melancholy hasn’t lessened. Maybe you need a… friend to share your travels. I speak a little French and I’m very good at holding umbrellas and keeping the flocks of fans away from soon-to-be-famous artists when they stop to sketch things.”
I arch a brow. “Friend, huh? Do you strip all of your friends naked and tie them to bedposts?” The minute I ask the question, I’m burning with jealousy. Has he done this before? He did seem rather expert at it. I want to poke the eyes out of every female he’s been with.
His lips twitch. “You brought that on yourself, blanca. You should know better than to goad my wolf.” He uses that authoritative tone that gets me wet.
“What’s blanca-white?”
“Yes. So what do you say, muñeca? Will you let me stay? Be your companion?”
“That depends.” I already know my answer is yes. The heaviness that’s shrouded me since Mexico is lifting and European travel suddenly becomes as enticing as it felt when I first dreamed of coming here.
“Name your conditions, mi amor. I will respect them.”
I love the honor and respect he shows me. “When I say I need space, you back off. I’m not accepting you as my mate.”
He nods gravely. “Understood. I’m not asking for that.”
Suddenly shy, I snatch up a strawberry and bite into it. I love the hungry expression that creeps over Carlos’ face as he watches. I wonder if he’s going to demand his own pleasure or deny himself to prove he’ll behave. I’m tempted to confess to him that next time I’d love to try the butt plug and his cock, but I hold back.
He’s not my mate, he’s a companion. We still haven’t discussed how doomed and impossible any future relationship would be, but the subject looms over us.
“Maybe we should go to Spain,” I blurt to keep from jumping his bones.
“Why?”
“You speak the language. It might be more fun.”
He leans his forehead against mine as he presses another strawberry between my lips. “That is a wonderful idea, mi amor. We’ll go visit the haunts of Gaudí and Picasso. Dalí. Miró. Who else?”
I beam at him. Though I’ve been the princess of my father’s pack my entire life, and many would call me spoiled, I always felt like no one knew me. Like I’m little more than an object or symbol. Carlos pays attention. He knows exactly what I like and I love the feeling of being truly seen for once. And the idea of visiting museums with him nearly makes me giddy.
I nestle my head against his shoulder, settling into the comfort he provides. For all my brave desires to do this trip alone, it’s much nicer to have a partner. Especially one as capable and caring as Carlos.
Carlos
I should leave Sedona’s room before my throbbing cock makes me do something stupid and I erode the trust we just built. I breathe in her scent, which both tortures and relieves me at the same time. My sweet mate fell asleep on my shoulder-a pleasure I will work my ass off to earn for the rest of my life. Nothing felt better than providing for my mate-feeding her and sheltering her in my arms.
Well, nothing except bringing her to climax.
My wolf is still buffing his nails over that one. It was risky pushing her limits the way I did, but the payoff was huge. At Harvard, they taught us to analyze risk, figure out how to minimize it. It’s suddenly clear me that playing it safe has never served me. It goes against my wolf nature, my alpha nature. And it’s definitely the reason I have a shitstorm to deal with back at Monte Lobo.
Fuck the risks. My pack needs to be shaken up. The council needs their asses kicked and I’m the only one who can turn them on their heads. Changes need to be made, progress instilled.