“What did you say?”
She asked in a surprise and disbelieving tune.
“I said I am sorry,”
He repeated, he could do this much, he could apologize to Natalie because of Nicole, not just because of Nicole but for himself and Natalie too.
“Why are you sorry? What are you saying sorry for Rafael?”
“For everything,”
“Everything? What’s everything?”
She asked.
“For everything that happened, for blaming you blindly for my kid’s death and also for getting you arrested,”
He replied.
“To be fair, Rafael you didn’t blame me blindly, as much as my sister would beat me up for saying I am to be blamed for what happened, that’s the truth and that’s why I don’t blame you for hating me and wanting me to go to jail,”
“Natalie,”
He called, she put up her hand.
“No, let me finish Rafael, I know, I didn’t push Natalie that day, it was an accident, we both didn’t know it would get to that but as much as u didn’t push her I did in every other way, my actions and everything that lead to that moment did and every day I try to tell myself that it was a mistake but sometimes I can’t help but feel guilty even though Nicole told me not to feel that way, but she lost a child because of what I did, not just a child, she lost you too,”
She said and covered her eyes, Rafael realized he had been mistaken, Natalie wasn’t evil like he think, she was human and made mistakes and he had condemned her, he felt like the devil.
“I am sorry, Rafael, I am sorry you lost a child because of me, I am sorry you weren’t able to get justice, I don’t blame you for hating me, I understand,”
She added.
“I should be the one apologizing Natalie, I went about it the wrong way, everything, now I regret my actions and want to correct them,”
He responded, she looked up at him with eyes shining with tears, for a moment he saw Nicole in her, that moment all those months ago when she had looked at him with tears filled eyes and had begged him not to leave her, he had been stupid enough not to yield to those words, now he was living in regrets, he couldn’t even get anything done, he removed his handkerchief from his side pocket and gave it to her, she thanked him and wiped her face with it before facing him again.
“Why are you doing this now Rafael?”
She asked. He smiled weakly and answered her truthfully.
“I said it before Natalie, I want to mend the mistakes I made, I don’t want to live like this anymore, I still love your sister a lot, I don’t think I can ever stop loving her, being away from her is punishing myself and I don’t want to do that anymore, and I know if I have to be with her then I have to also be okay with the people she loves too, so I wanted to mend this first before anything else,”
“Wow, I ruined that didn’t I?”
She asked and he shook his head, he used to believe she did that but not anymore, that was his stupid excuse, whatever happened did and it wasn’t her fault that they fell apart, no, it was his fault, he should have been there for his wife but he ran away to lick off his own wound leaving her to heal on her own.
“I mean, you guys were so in love and I came and ruined it,”
“You didn’t do that,”
“Yes, I did, don’t excuse what I did too,”
“I am not excusing what you did, I don’t even have a right to be mad at you, Nicole was the one you offended, she forgave you, you didn’t do anything to end my relationship with your sister, I did that all by myself, j shouldn’t have asked for a divorce, I should have stayed with her and overcome those trying times but I didn’t, instead I ran away.
“You did what you thought was best, if you don’t want me to blame myself for what happened, don’t blame yourself too, at least you are doing something to fix it and I hope you succeed because you guys, you are better together than apart and I am sorry I didn’t see that, I was blinded by jealousy,”
Natalie said, wiping her eyes again, he felt bad for making her cry.
“I am sorry Natalie, I didn’t mean to make you cry, I just wanted us to be okay,”
“I understand, I am naturally a very emotional woman, we both are as you may already know that Nicole is very emotional, I hope you both work things out,”
“Me too, can I ask you to keep this to yourself? Not our meeting, you can tell her about that, I mean about us getting back together, I want to be the one to tell her that myself when she is ready, she is still so uncomfortable in my presence and I want to fix that first,”
He explained, hoping she would understand, she nodded.
“Okay, my lips are sealed and I would be rooting for you, a little secret, my sister still loves you a lot, she might not say it a lot but I know she does, of course, that won’t make getting her back easier,”
She said, his heart leaped with joy at the information, she still loves him, he just had to work on getting it back.
“I know, and I am willing to go through any length to win her back, thank you for telling me,”
“You are welcome, also thank you for reaching out,”
“It’s nothing and it was long overdue anyway,”
He said getting up to leave, she stood up and he went to her side and hugged her briefly.
“Thank you for listening and letting me use your time, I hope we can get closer,”
“Sure me too,”
Natalie said and he left, going over to where he parked his car he got in and did a fist bump, his first victory and he had a little extra, at least now he knew Nicole still loves him and he was determined more than ever to make things work out between them.
“Moving on to the next plan,”
He said and drove off…