Nicole laid on the ground next to Grace watching the sky, she had so much fun today and it felt like her world was perfect again even though it was just an illusion, still, it was better than how she felt a few days ago, this is why she liked having Grace around, nothing beats having fun with someone you like, if she was into women, she knew she would never be alone because Grace would be one caring lover.
“Wait, that reminds me, you said you are going to bring your boyfriend over so that we can meet, you didn’t bring him,”
She accused looking at Grace who smiled weakly and looked away, the smile, held some form of sadness.
“We broke up,”
“What? Why?”
Nicole asked getting off the ground and facing her friend, who had tears in her eyes, she felt like a bad friend, she dragged Grace around town not knowing how sad she was.
“Hey, Grace, don’t cry,”
“I am fine, I just, it wasn’t meant to be’, and well, I haven’t cried since it happened, you asking makes it so emotional.”
“I feel like a bad friend for not noticing when you notice everything about me,”
“No, it’s fine Nicole, I am good at hiding how I feel so don’t feel guilty because of me, I am okay, it’s just my first year in school so I should be facing my studies instead of dating and besides he wanted me to be doing shits that I didn’t think I should be doing,”
‘May I ask what?”
‘Yeah, he told me to move in with him but I told him I wasn’t ready for that yet, that was the first time we fought, then about a week later, he called me to meet him up at a club while knowing I have an assessment test the next day, of course, I turned him down and we didn’t see for the next one week and when we finally did he told me he couldn’t be with someone who can’t put his needs first, I actually laughed in his face, when those needs are things that won’t help me, I mean I got into uni at twenty-three and he wants me to put his needs first, must be ment,”
“Wow, I don’t even know what to say,”
Nicole replied, she didn’t really know what to say, she didn’t have any experience with guys except for Rafael, and Rafael always put her needs first, well except for the divorce thing, he did without thinking about her feelings, she understand that he was hurt by what happened but it’s been months since they divorced and he hasn’t even reached out to her or even indicated that he did all those because he was hurting, he simply moved on from her.
“You didn’t reach out either, it’s a two-way thing,”
The voice in her head whispered, it wasn’t completely true though, yes she didn’t reach out but she wasn’t the one that asked for a divorce, she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now, this is about Grace, not her.
“You know, for me, I was willing to give love a chance and I put my all into that relationship even though it was just for a short while, it hurt but I learned something about myself, it’s me first everyone else comes after me, I don’t put anyone above myself,”
“That’s a good thing, it helps, putting yourself first, I hope I can learn that,”
“Yeah, you should,”
“Like yes, it hurts but that’s just it, I ain’t going to wet my pillow at night because of one man, the only reason it saddens me is that I really wanted to be with him but he is not worth it.”
She added with a weak smile, Nicole felt jealous of how Grace seemed to be handling her break up well even though it hurt her.
They both sat there watching the night sky in silence, a comfortable silence, Grace was hurt by what happened with her ex-boyfriend but she wasn’t letting that ruin fun for her, Nicole wished she could do that too, Rafael hurt her by divorcing and neglecting her at the time she needed him the most and months later, she still cries at night, still have dreams about him, still misses his presence and still want to get back with him even though she knew that was next to impossible, she really could use some of Grace’s self-confidence.
“Forget that I am older you are really a role model for me, Grace,”
“Aww, glad to know that, you are to me too, that’s why we are friends,”
“Of course,”
She answered…
****
“Hey, Mom,”
Nicole greeted her mom and sat next to her, now she could do these kinds of things with her parents, especially her mom, she could just walk up to her and sit close to her and talk to her about random stuff, one of the biggest blessings she got this year, all negative vibes and feelings are off the plate and what is left is love, she forgave all her parent’s past shortcomings and embraced them as their weakness, now she prefers to talk it out with them than keep it to herself and it had helped in a lot of ways.
“My dear, how are you doing? I didn’t see you all through yesterday,”
“Yes, I was out with friends,”
“Oh, that’s good, I am happy you are not locking yourself in and actually giving yourself a chance to be happy,”
Her mother said.
“I have no reason to be sad right now, I am okay and happy,”
“That’s good to know, your sister called earlier,”
“Oh, really? How is she? Is she ever going to come back home?”
She asked, it has been a couple of days since her mom informed her that Natalie was returning home but still no sight of her, she really wanted her twin to come back home so that they can talk things out, she didn’t like the way things were with them.
“She will come back soon, as soon as her physician says it’s okay to come back,”
Her mother revealed shocking her, she didn’t even know Natalie was seeing a doctor.
“I didn’t know she was seeing a doctor,”
“She is, that’s why she is not coming back home, she needs to get herself back and she did well-getting help, I am proud of her, I am proud of you guys and I am praying that our family can unite again soon.”
“Me to mom,”
She answered sincerely.