17

Ashely
I threw my apron at Emily and ran over to a mirror, ignoring the stares that Emily and Leo gave me. I re-applied my lip-gloss and stared at the reflection of my glossy pink lips. It was without a doubt that the lip balm made me look more attractive.
I then adjusted the creases on my open-necked shirt and my faded blue jeans. I ran over to Mason and he then whispered:
“You’re allowed to leave right?”
“Of course,” I found myself chuckling nervously as I responded, “They can handle it.”
“Alright then.” Mason answered as he opened the door and allowed me to walk right through it.
What a gentleman.
I felt the sun radiate it’s light on on glowing skin and as we walked along the pedestrian walkway, I was starting to feel a sort of deja vu.
“How’s work going?” I heard him ask.
“It’s great. We have a new staff and my boss is back. I feel so happy.” I hurriedly spoke.
“I can smell the sarcasm from here.” Mason chuckled lightly.
I threw my head back and laughed.
“H-How about yours?” I asked.
“Well-” Mason started, “It’s been rough. The office is always cramped with paper and the printer always breaks down. The new interns are always sluggish and they never get the coffee on time.”
“At least you work in an office. I serve people for a living, remember?” I scoffed.
“But it’s the same thing. It’s just in a different way. We both serve people.” He slanted his head and I nodded in agreement.
“Wanna grab something to eat?” He asked.
“No, I’m actually full.” I lied through my teeth.
There was a huge silence between us as we walked on the pedestrian walkway. I heard him clear his throat and I then waited in anticipation to listen.
“I have always wanted to walk like this… with you.” I heard Mason speak and I swore that I almost hiccuped.
What the heck? Was this the moment I was waiting for?
He always wanted to do this with me. I kept repeating that in my mind and involuntarily, my heart began to beat faster.
“Really?” I replied, hesitant to ask more questions. I wanted to know how he felt.
He chuckled. It was like music to my ears.
“Well, back in elementary school. I admired your playful and crazy spirit. You were my first love, Ashely. I just never had the courage to tell you and I was so scared of Elena….”
“Y-You like me?” I just had to ask, I wanted to certain if this was a dream. Back in school, I and Mason were always in the same class. I avoided looking at his eyes and made little conversation while he was chatty with me since I was the class President. He always sat behind me and anytime he walked past me, I sniffled his colonge.
That didn’t make me a weirdo. I was only interested in knowing how my crush smelled like.
“Then why didn’t you ever tell me that you liked me?” I lifted up my neck and crossed my arms across my bosom.
“I thought you didn’t and we see both really young then.” Mason raked a hand over his black curly hair, “And also you were always hesitant on making conversations with me and you didn’t even ask for my number when I visited you at the bakery.”
I gulped aloud and I felt my cheek flush at his words. He liked me and I did too. I then realized that I was the one pushing him away in high school.
But why wouldn’t I?
That feeling when he came right behind me, whispering rubbish and making April Fool pranks and I would just see it as anything normal. When he stared at me, I just froze.
“I thought you didn’t like me too.” I stuttered the words out, “And I did. I still do, Mason. I thought you saw me as a friend or a nobody and silly me, never thought to ask you if you ever did.” And then peals of laughter burst from deep within me.
My laughter was always a weird kind of laughter, it came mostly in happy moments and it was the sound of my soul reeling in happiness.
“D-Do you like me, Ashely Boark?” His eyes crinkled at the side when he spoke.
“Why wouldn’t I?” My hands boldly touched the sides of his face. This was the first time I was touching it and I didn’t want to mess it up, “Do you know that I prayed more about you than to my own self? This feels like a miracle.”
His laughter was so free and pure, so childish despite his adult years. It came to my ears as a tickle and to lift up my spirit. I found myself smiling hard like a fool.
The gaze lasted a full second, enough for both of us to take in the face of the other. Nothing needed to be said, our eye languages had already taken care of the entire message.
Then he brushed my hair back from my shoulder and moved in so close, I could feel his lean body pressed up against me. His fingers touched my neck and his hands went from the sides of my head and down to my neck, then to my shoulders and down to my hands.
Damnit. It was as if my heart was about to explode.
He grabbed my hands gently yet firm, put them in front of me and paused. I felt safe, he spoke no words.
My heart was about to burst out of my chest and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath out. I felt his warmth and in my mind, I had placed our lips together. But instead he leaned in to caress my neck, slow and gentle. He was making me wait and I could hardly bear it. I wanted his lips now, I wanted his kisses. I pouted at him.
“What?” I heard him chuckle.
“Do it. ” I whispered, “Just fucking kiss me.”
Then he cupped my face in his hands and gave me what he knew I wanted.
He nearly missed, his lips a bit too far left and his nose bumping against mine but he persisted and that was so adorable. His eyes were closed, but he could hear the crinkling of my smile as I maneuvered my mouth into position, tilting my head so that our lips could meet finally and happily at last.
I was breathing right into his nose each time I exhaled, tickling the tip of his nose and making him giggle, which started my giggling too. As he pulled back sheepishly, I nibbled on the tip of his nose, then kissed it, and his eyes opened to see mine shining so brightly.
“We should have gone on a date before doing that, I think.” Mason spoke nervously while reaching to fondle his neck.
“Then ask me.” My lips curved into a smile. I was bolder now that I knew his feelings. My heart was exploding with happiness. I couldn’t wait to tell Emily or Elena.
I was certain that Emily might freak out but Elena would definitely give me a smirk of encouragement.
“Would you, Ashely Boark-”
“Just say Ashely.” I cut in.
“Would you go out on a date with me, Ashely?” Mason asked.
“Yes.” My reply was quick and I was so delighted that my childhood crush actually liked me. He then gently took my hand and said;
“You don’t know how happy I am to actually hear you say, yes. I know it sounds crazy but I have practically been stalking you at the bakery shop since the high school reunion. I just felt shy to express my feelings and I told it was one sided. I like you, Ashely and I honestly can’t wait to know every inch of you.”
“I want to know when and how you wake up, what you eat, how your day went. I want to know what you like and hate. I want to know your favorite color. The countries you’ll like to tour. I just want to know you.” I heard him say and sigh at the same time, “Can I Ashely, can I know everything about you?”
That was such a cute confession. I just kept smiling and staring at his eyes. It revealed his utmost sincerity.
“I want to know everything about you, Mason. I’m really excited about all this.”
“We can take it slow.” He took my hand in his and tucked it in, into his pocket. It felt so freaking warm and adorable, “We don’t have to rush it.”
“Not at all.” I spoke as he resumed walking, “My previous relationships weren’t as rosy. I recently just got… out of one.”
“Mine were situationships.” I heard him say, “Maybe they just weren’t right for me.”
“Or maybe they weren’t the right ones at the right time.” I completed with a sigh.
“But I’ll make it work. I won’t force it on you but you feel the chemistry right?” Mason told me.
Something felt a little off about the way he asked me if I felt the chemistry. I did. I felt it. Did he think I lied to him or did he have trust issues? I waved it out of my thoughts.
He grabbed my left hand with his palm, it felt so warm and nice in mine and wrapped his fingers around the back of my hand. His lips in their casual silent way, told me it was going to be a great day.
“This way we hold hands is really important for us to be stronger….” he said as he rotated his palm closer to mine, interlocking our fingers.
My heart began racing as soon as he started to hold my hand. He was just using it to make a point, but when I looked at him smirking at me, I didn’t want his demonstration to end. I just returned his smirk and raised an eyebrow. “And why do you think that is so important?”
“Holding hands like this is stronger, more committed. When we hold hands like this, most people can’t break us up because we would be inseparable,” he said it with a meaning that went far beyond my imagination.
He punctuated his point by rubbing his thumb in a circular motion around the back of my hand.
“We better not let go then,” I said leaning my head on his shoulder with a smile. He returned my smile as he started playing with my hand in his. I closed my eyes so that I could enjoy finally being able to accept that fact that he liked me just as much as I liked him.
*****
“So he asked you out?” Elena was trying so hard not to spill her chocolate milk all over the centre table in my apartment living room.
I stood beside the fridge still grinning happily like a child in my shorts and my strapless white top.
“Yes.” I sighed heavily. I was so excited when he dropped me off at the bakery and he never stopped staring at me. I was too elated that I clocked off work early and ignored Leo’s silly remarks.
“Was that the reason you clocked off work early?” Emily spoke while pouring milk into a bowl of cereal.
“Well-” I started, “Our first date is in a few days and I’m so excited. I need a dress-”
“What’s the rush, Ash? You barely spoke to this guy in school and suddenly he has feelings for you? Why didn’t he ask you out at prom as well?” Elena probed further.
I gulped down a glass of water and wiped my lips off with the back of my hand.
“It’s all because of you, Elena. He was scared of you.” I stuttered the words out.
“What?” Emily dramatically screamed.
“How could it be my fault that he did not have the balls to express himself to you?” Elena asked with her hands outstretched, “And FYI, we both know that he never spoke to you at prom night.”
“That was because we both found it hard to express our feelings.” I muttered while removing pecks of dust from my eyes.
“But don’t you think it’s a little bit early?” Emily asked, “You mentioned that you kissed him. It’s just weird, Ashely. You don’t want to make the same mistake you did with Richard. He screwed you over and you let him touch you and finger you. You were still not over him, Ashely and thank goodness, that you never allowed Richard to fuck you.”
I hysterically rubbed my forehead.
“It’s not-”
“It is, Ashley. You’re too quick to jump into relationships.” Elena gave me a death glare, “And why the heck would you let that son of a bitch finger you? For what? And you not fucking him doesn’t make it better. You could have slapped him and told him to get the hell out of there.”
I swallowed a huge globe of saliva as I bit my bottom lip. My eyes crinkled at the side and my lips curved into a downward slope as my eyes were fixated on my sister.
“Are you slutshaming me? My voice was clear and loud.
I watched as Emily shook her head, her batting eye lashes telling me to give up on the conversation.
“Is telling you the truth slutshaming? I don’t know what’s wrong with you but you don’t let your cheating ex finger you.” I heard her speak, “And now, you are getting involved with Mason? What if he hurts you? I’m just looking out for you.”
“Or maybe you’re just being so damn judgemental.” My voice reached it’s peak and my threshold too.
“You guys really need to chill out!” Emily rose up on her feet and inhaled sharply, “Breathe in, breathe out.”
I scoffed aloud. This wasn’t a time to do a yoga exercise, it was a time to express myself to my older sister who sometimes utter harsh words and then coat it as “the bitter truth”
“Stay out of it, Emily.” I shot a glare at her which caused the smile on her face to wither away, “Please.”
“I’m judgemental?” Elena bit her bottom lip, “The only judgemental person here is you. You’re the only one who decided not to forgive Mom.”
A bitter chuckle escaped from my lip, “And that’s why she keeps exhorting you.”
“Says the person who trusts men too easily.” Elena rose up on her feet, “If you really want to give Mason a chance, maybe you need to be more careful and observant.”
“This is the moment where you leave.” A tear managed to escape and smear my cheeks.
Most arguments with Elena often ended up with me, sitting on the couch with a mug in my hand and my eyes focused on a novel.
“Of course. It was a pleasant conversation.” Elena gritted her teeth and turned to look at Emily with a bright smile, “Have a great evening and don’t worry, I’ll just call a uber on my way out.”
There was a huge silence that followed after the loud door slam. I sat down on the couch while Emily paced around.
“You didn’t have to say that to your sister, Ash-”
“And you don’t get to tell me how to speak to my sister.” I cut her off with my voice raised in anger.
“Okay. I guess maybe I shouldn’t speak.” Emily said with a sigh, “But you know Elena loves you and she may seem harsh but she’s really protective of you, okay?”
And with that Emily walked towards her bedroom while I cradled my head in my hands.
I knew that Elena was right. I needed to create a boundary so I wouldn’t seem too easy to Mason. I closed my eyes and placed my head on a pillow.
Several minutes passed by and I still couldn’t sleep. I then decided to sing a lullaby that Elena always sang to me when I was still a child.
Sleep finally enveloped me and I began to dream of a certain person.