Tash half laughs and half cries and we both look toward the baby and hear a loud scream.
I smile, as I am overcome with emotion
“It’s a little girl.” Dr. Walton smiles warmly.
“A girl?” I whisper in wonder. We didn’t want to know the sex before the birth.
The nurse wraps her in a blanket and immediately weighs her. “Six pounds, which is a good size for an early baby.” She smiles.
I stand completely entranced as I watch the tiny girl in the nurse’s arms. She wraps her in a pink blanket and hands her to me.
My heart stops.
This baby, this tiny piece of Natasha and me… I have no words as the overwhelming feeling of love infiltrates every cell in my body. My eyes fall to my girl in bed. Natasha is dishevelled and wet with perspiration but she has never looked more beautiful.
I carefully lay the precious little bundle onto her mother’s chest.
I grab Natasha and hold her tight. “I love you,” I whisper into her hair. “I love you, I love you,” I repeat as I squeeze her.
“I love you too, baby,” she whispers through tears. She gently kisses her daughter’s forehead and rearranges her gently so that we can look at her. She’s tiny, with blue eyes and a scattering of fair hair.
Is this real?
Is this our baby?
As if in the twilight zone, this perfect little pink person stares up at me.
“Joshua,” Natasha whispers through tears.
I shake my head in disbelief, unable to speak.
The doctor checks Natasha. “I need to do a little repair work here, Natasha.”
I stand concerned. “What’s wrong?” I frown.
“She needs some stitches.”
My face falls. “Oh.”
“That’s ok,” she whispers as she grabs my hand to reassure me.
“Take your daughter, Joshua,” the doctor instructs.
My face falls and I fumble. I don’t know how to hold this tiny thing without hurting her, but I lift her into my arms and sit in the chair next to the bed and stare at the little girl in my arms.
She’s tiny, so tiny and so perfect. My eyes float up to Natasha. “Are you ok, Presh?” I ask. God, I hate that she has had to go through so much today.
The doctor gives her an injection and she smiles sleepily as she nods. “I’m ok, Josh.”
My eyes fall back to the little person in my arms and I frown, unwrapping a little of her blanket to look at her, and as if by some miracle, she reaches out and wraps her tiny hand around my pointer finger. I feel my heart somersault in my chest as every emotion overwhelms me. My eyes fill with tears and I lift her precious little hand to my mouth and kiss the back of it.
This is love in its highest form.
Tears start to run down my face
“Happy Birthday,” I whisper.
I feel my heart swell with so much love, I could burst.
We did it. We did it. We made a baby.
My eyes rise back to the beautiful, brave woman who did this – the woman who brought me this happiness today. We have come so far and fought so hard and… words escape me. Never in a million years would I have thought, all those years ago when I was filling her void with other women, that this precise moment was in my future… that this higher level of being could ever be achieved.
I watch Natasha intently as our relationship hits another stratosphere.
I fucking love this woman with every ounce of my being.
“What’s her name?” The doctor asks.