The door opens and a tall young man walks in. “Hello.” He shakes our hands. “I’m Jeremy Seymour. I’m the resident anaesthetist.”
“Hello.”
“I just wanted to go through an epidural with you.”
“No, I’m fine, thanks,” I reply. Bloody hell, they really do try and force this shit down your throat.
He smiles warmly. “That’s fine. I just want you to know that there is only a small window where you can have it, and once that has passed, it’s too late.”
I nod. “Thank you. I am really focused on doing this naturally.”
The doctor smiles warmly. “Of course. Good luck.”
The doctor leaves us in peace.
Josh takes my hand. “‘Tash, they all keep going on about this, maybe you should do it. Like Cam said, there is no bravery medal at the end.”
I smile. “Josh, I am stronger than you think.”
“I know,” he admits nervously.
“Trust me. I can do this.”
Seven hours later
“Ahhhhh, Get me a fucking epidural. Get it to me now!” I scream as I writhe around in pain on the bed. Joshua is wet with perspiration and has thrown up four times just from stress. This isn’t childbirth of natural free love and all that glow. This is an exorcism of The Devil, where he is ripping himself out of my body.
I shake my head at Joshua frantically. “No. No. Take me home, Josh. Take me home. Take me home. Take me home.”
“Baby,” Joshua whispers. “Calm down.”
“It is not oh fucking kaaaay!” I scream.
“Natasha.”
“I don’t want a baby anymore. I don’t want a baby anymore. You have it,” I whisper frantically. I’m wet with perspiration and the tears are running down my face. Holy fucking shit. This hurts. Like murdering death pain, hurts.
“I want an epidural. Get that guy back. Get him back.” I point to the door and start to panic as I feel another contraction coming.
I screw up my face and clench. “Ahhhh!” I cry as I curl up in a ball.
“This is ridiculous,” Joshua cries. “Get her an epidural now!”
“Too late, Joshua,” Dr. Walton tells him. “She’s nine centimetres dilated. Almost time to push.”
Joshua’s wide eyes meet mine. Oh dear God. I’m going to die. I am going to die today.
I start to shake my head. “No, no, no.”
Dr. Walton smiles calmly.
My frantic eyes meet Joshua’s again. “I can’t do this, Josh,” I sob. “This is too hard. I can’t do it. Knock me out, give me a C-section.”
Joshua’s eyes dart from mine to the doctor’s in panic.
“I want to go to the bathroom,” I announce.
Joshua raises his eyebrows in question and I nod. “Yes, I want to go.”
“No, Natasha, you have to stay in bed at this stage,” Dr. Walton replies. “If you need to go, we will get you a bed pan.” I scowl. Oh, this is horrible.
I’m beside myself. I don’t think I can do this. I’m crying uncontrollably.
Joshua looks to the doctor and nurse in the room. “Can you give us a moment alone, please?”
“Of course.”
I watch as they both leave the room.
Joshua bends and kisses my head.
“Presh, please don’t cry.”
“Josh,” I whisper. “I can’t do this.” The tears run freely down my face. “Please get them to C-section me.”
Joshua grabs my face. “You listen to me.” His voice is calm and assertive.
My scared eyes search his.
“If I could have this baby for us, you know that I would.”