I can practically see the red steam shoot from Bridget’s ears. We are interrupted as everyone bursts into laughter and the crowd dissipate to allow someone through. My face drops in horror and I burst out laughing. Cameron and eight friends have just come straight from a buck’s party. They are wearing hot pink t-shirts that say:
Yes
I fuck
On first
Dates
Along with Sombrero hats and bright pink lipstick. They are really drunk, I mean really drunk, with one man at the back having trouble standing.
“What have me and Ben got to do with you anyway.” The girl snaps at Bridget.
Bridget leans in closer to the girl and I look over to Adrian, screwing up my face, all too aware that this is going downhill real quick.
“Ben is taken. Whore bag.” Bridget sneers.
The stupid girl laughs as Cameron stumbles over and grabs me in an embrace. “Presh is here,” he calls as he spins me around.
“Put her down!” Joshua snaps.
“Ben doesn’t want to be taken, you stupid bitch,” she sneers.
“What’s going on?” Cameron slurs.
“I was just telling stupid here all about Ben’s wife,” Bridget replies.
Cameron pulls his head back in surprise. “Ben’s married?” he slurs and questions.
Adrian and I get the giggles, while Joshua drags his hand down his face.
Adrian’s phone beeps a text.
I’m coming to get you. Now.
His eyes widen and I snatch the phone from him.
A tall man comes over and stands next to us. Mine and Adrian’s eyes meet in horror. This is him? This is the sexy texter? Oh my God, he looks like ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic.
Adrian drops his head to hide his smile.
“Adrian, I’ve come to take you home,” he says in a Russian accent.
My mouth literally drops open, and this time it’s Joshua who starts to chuckle.
“I’m warning you, pretty girl. I eat girls like you for breakfast,” the girl snaps at Bridget.
Cameron interjects, “Excellent.” He points his beer at her. “Bi-girls who get in my bed are my favourite kind of people.”
“Fuck off, Cameron!” Bridget snaps.
“But… but she just said she’s going to eat you for breakfast,” he stammers, confused. Holy shit, he’s so drunk.
“She’s not eating me for breakfast,” Bridget hits back.
Cameron exaggerates a nod. “Yeah, good, someone else.” He frowns as he stumbles back. “Who’s eating who for breakfast then?”
“I’m eating Adrian for supper,” ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic announces.
Our eyes all turn to him in horror. What the hell? I put my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing.
“That is not happening,” Adrian cries in an outrage.
“You can eat me then,” he offers.
Adrian screws up his face in horror. “What?”
Oh God, this is hilarious. Joshua and I can hardly control the laughter we want to scream in this freak’s face.
“You are lucky I don’t drown you in the pool,” Bridget tells Ben’s friend.
The big-boobed bitch smiles as her eyes find the pool. “Wouldn’t be the first time I have been in this pool,” she purrs.
Bridget narrows her eyes as she loses control of her temper. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she yells.
Oh shit. She is insinuating that has had sex with Ben in this pool. This is about to turn ugly.
“Go away, Avril!” Joshua snaps. Max comes over and stands to the right of us, obviously sensing the impending catfight.
“Avril Lavigne,” Cameron repeats in a stupid voice as he raises his eyebrows in question.
“Cameron. Shut the fuck up!” Bridget yells.
I giggle. God, he’s ridiculous when he’s drunk. How does Avril Lavigne even come into this conversation?
“Come on, Adrian. Pleasure awaits you,” ‘Weird Al’ purrs.
I bite my bottom lip to hold back my smile. This is like watching bad reality television.
Adrian puts his hands on his head in frustration. “Oh my God. Please… go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere without you, Adrian.”
“Oh man, just fuck off,” Joshua barks at ‘Weird Al’ in frustration.
This night is going from hero to zero at a rapid rate.
“Are you saying that you had sex with Ben in this pool?” Bridget growls.
“I’ve had sex with Ben in most places.”
“That’s it…” Bridget snaps and throws her drink all over Avril Lavigne.