Concerning the accident, or the fact that he was terrified? I had previously asked Nicola about some of Mathew’s more peculiar actions, like his unwillingness to fill the pool for me, and she had always kept his secrets. Perhaps it wasn’t appropriate for Nicola to reveal this private information about his buddy without informing him beforehand.
“Both. The reason I’m telling you this is so you won’t be terrified of him, but he probably doesn’t want you to know. The only way he’d feel comfortable telling you is if he told you personally. ”
In agreement, I nodded my head. To put it bluntly, Mathew was a tough guy living in a tough environment. A surprising soft side of his character had been shown to me, but I imagine he wasn’t accustomed to showing emotion. Probably not even to Nicola.
“I flat-out denied having any qualms about being around him. No longer”
“Are you sure you’re not? “Nicola sent out a mix of doubt and optimism in her expression. I’m sure that was a scary experience getting out of the automobile the way he did.
“He was merely concerned about my safety.” “OK, I see it now. When I was having that nightmare, he came to check on me, and he rescued me from that creepy guy at the restaurant last night. I forced down the chills brought on by recalling the scarred man’s palm on my face. I might understand Matthew’s irrationality if he had been in a serious vehicle accident when he was a teenager. Strong feelings may surface after a traumatic experience, particularly if the victim has not prepared for the possibility of a trigger. My grip on Nicola’s hand tightened. I appreciate your telling me that. To put it simply, it sheds light on the subject for me. Mathew just means well; he wants to keep me safe. ”
Nicola planted one on my forehead and I felt her pressure. “That makes my heart happy, honey.”
I gave him my best grin and we quickly forgot about our unsettling meeting. Probably it’s best if we go inside. If we’re late to lunch, it’ll really annoy Mathew.
You’re getting a better grasp on who he is.
“later on I will be fucking you over the hood of that car, and we will mark the ever-living hell out of the paint.”
Mathew
“Is your lasagna okay?” I asked, breaking the stretch of silence. Emily was pushing her food around her plate rather than eating it. She’d been quiet ever since Nicola had left to go into the city half an hour ago.
Apparently, whatever they’d been up to in the garage before their idiotic joyride had made him lose track of time; he’d practically bolted out the door when he’d entered the kitchen for lunch and caught sight of the clock. He couldn’t be late to the meeting with his dad, no matter how difficult it was to separate himself from Emily. Castin had to be informed about how Samule had threatened her. Warning Nicola’s dad about the danger to her was the most important thing right now.
So, that left me alone with the gorgeous brunette, just the two of us seated at the kitchen island to eat the meal I’d prepared. I’d anticipated having her all to myself for the afternoon and evening, but I hadn’t expected this shy silence.
She glanced up at me, her lovely eyes flashing like sapphires before her gaze dropped back to her plate. “The lasagna’s great. Thanks for cooking for me all the time. You don’t have to do that.”
It was the first time she’d ever expressed gratitude for my cooking. Something swelled in my chest.
“I want to do it,” I told her. “I like cooking for you.”
“I’d like to take care of her more, if she’d let me. ”
My gut told me she’d welcome Nicola’s kinkier games. I wanted her to welcome me, too.
But my perversions weren’t a game. They were a part of me, a need that gnawed at my soul. In the time she’d been with us, that need had shifted to Emily. I’d thought about her countless times, our few intense encounters giving me enough fantasies to make me come in the shower every day. When I stroked myself, I’d close my eyes and remember the way she trembled for me.
She might think her reactions were fearful, but I knew better. She was a little intimidated, but she liked when I imposed myself on her. I could see it in the way her eyes locked on mine and her breathing hitched as she stared up at me. When I turned that side of myself on her, I commanded her full attention.
And when I’d held her in the car last night, protecting her and sheltering her while she cried, I knew I was just as devoted to her as Nicola was.
Three times in less than twenty-four hours, I’d been wracked by fear for her safety: first when I found Samule cornering her in that bathroom; then when she’d screamed during her nightmare; and just this afternoon, when I’d caught sight of Nicola drag racing with her in the damn car.
And she’d softened toward me each time I’d rushed to protect her, instinctively trusting me to keep her safe.
The intense bursts of emotion had totally fucked with my head. I’d promised Nicola that I wouldn’t push her. I’d promised that he could have her, and I wouldn’t press my claim.
He might secretly want to corrupt her innocence, but I would cherish it. I’d ensure that she never lost that part of herself, no matter how depraved Nicola’s games became. She was made for both of us, a perfect match for our needs.
I just needed to convince Nicola that I was right.
“You’re not eating,” I observed. “Are you still upset about what happened with Samule at the restaurant last night? You know I won’t let him anywhere near you ever again, don’t you?”
She peeked up at me. “I know. But I do feel…a little out of sorts. It would really help if I could go for a swim.” Her tone turned hopeful, and her eyes were wide and beseeching. “It helps clear my mind.”
I locked down my emotions before they could rise, shoving them away with familiar, ruthless force.
“No,” I said, an absolute refusal. I’d been putting Nicola off, but I had no intention of getting that pool filled and letting Emily in the water. “Now, eat your lunch.”
“No? That’s it? Just no?”
I placed my hands on the marble countertop, leaning toward her. The kitchen island separated us, but she shrank back on her stool.