He returned to the meat of his argument by saying, “And that’s part of why you desire her.” In other words, “How long do you think you can keep fucking her like this?”
“As if you were just a generic dull guy living a generic boring existence. Even if you don’t enjoy the violence in our society, at least you can play with your toys. When it comes to women, you like toying with and controlling them. For some reason, being in charge appeals to you. Your self-awareness extends to this. You have this trait, and I know it. To put it bluntly, Emily is not fragile. In fact, I have no doubt that she is adaptable. What would she look like bound in your ropes? Can’t you just image it? “The darker phrases he was using affected him as much as they were enticing me, and his voice became harder as he pronounced them.
“We can’t” ,”I can’t. “Emily isn’t made for roughhousing.”
“It’s my opinion that she is. She seems destined for it. If it wasn’t the case, she probably wouldn’t be so head over heels in love with you. I’ve seen her gaze at you and her response to your touch. You may want to consider this, Nicola. She’s pure, yet you may be the one to taint her. ”
With a huff, “I don’t want to discuss this anymore,” I cut off the conversation. “I won’t do anything to scare her away. As it is, her fears are already well-founded. Only a few days ago, she was just another college Stundent, stressing out over Stundying for her exams. Now she has to deal with the reality that she’s in the center of a fight between members of our own family. She already has a lot on her plate. Miracle of miracles, she hasn’t tried to claw out my eyes yet since I’m holding her hostage. As we’ve promised, she’ll be here for the foreseeable future. If it means shielding her from me and us, then that’s what I’ll do. ”
You’re wrong.”
he said. It’s on me to take care of Emily, Matthew. Mine.”
A little recoil ran through him. Perhaps I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t know him so well.
It was obvious to me that he had feelings for her. Emily’s purity is what attracts me, but any guy would desire her. There might be a variety of reasons why Mathew finds her attractive, but ultimately, we’ve always had the same tastes in women. There was never an issue with it previously. We were a generous bunch.
Unfortunately, I was the only one who could explain Emily to him. He had never met her before.
In order to make her happy, I would lie to myself about my sexual desires and protect her from Mathew’s darker impulses.
Emily
Even though it had been a week since I’d first seen Mathew’s obscene drawings, I still hadn’t informed Nicola. There’s no way to break the news to him that his pal has been sketching sexy, personal scenes.
Isn’t that the case?
The mental picture of Nicola standing over me with a coil of rope was impossible to dismiss. The obscene sketch kept flashing through my mind every time he pinned me to the bed or shoved me up against the wall, entrapping me as he raped me.
It diverted my attention.
The thought always came to me at the peak of an orgasmic experience.
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Nicola. If dad saw me glancing at Mathew’s drawings, he may accuse me of being a pervert. If I told him I was thinking about them during my climax, I shudder to think of what he would say.
And if Nicola found out that Mathew had drew me chained and nude, I fear for their relationship. Maybe Nicola doesn’t act too possessive of me while his buddy is there, but this is ridiculous. I really doubt that Mathew presented his drawings to Nicola. That was the same as inviting others to share in your porn, and that was simply strange. What men didn’t do.
I guess I just didn’t know a whole lot about males. I had dated Jimmy my freshman year of college and had dated another guy for a month during my junior year of high school. I broke up with him because he cheated on me. Even though I hadn’t felt particularly close to him, his treachery shocked me nevertheless. I had already been struggling to trust others, and this knocked me back much farther.
When I first met Nicola, I believed we could put the past behind us, but it came out he had been lying to me the whole time, and he had been hiding the fact that he had a history of criminal activity. Now that we were both being completely honest with one another, I started to feel a little guilty about keeping my emotions for him bottled up. To be honest, he hadn’t done enough to win my trust.
Because of the distance between us, I didn’t feel comfortable bringing up Mathew’s artwork. I was unable to let Nicola in on the whole of my vile thoughts. Not when I still had doubts and fears about putting my trust in him and giving him my whole heart.
A voice from above said, “What’s wrong, angel?” I was deep in meditation when Nicola interrupted me.
“Nothing.” I heaved a sigh and rested my face on his shoulder, attempting to reorient my attention to the screen. The event was entertaining, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that obscene artwork no matter how good it was.
Nicola grabbed the TV’s off switch off the table. He grasped both of my hands and stared intently into my eyes, as if he could decipher my thoughts by studying them.
“You’re not happy,” he remarked at last. How should I proceed?