I drew a long, reflective sigh. I had to face the facts of her predicament, and it did a lot to dampen my desire for her. It was possible that after I was done, she might turn away from me in disgust.
Of course, if I lied to her, I’d lose her trust forever. To have her confidence in me was something I really needed. As she gave me more and more, I could feel her body relaxing under me, and it was a high I couldn’t resist. If I could get it back, I would put my life on the line for it.
“I’m not a decent guy.” That’s not me, but I wish I were.
I wanted it more than before, but now that I was forced back into my violent past, I realized it was a silly fantasy.
“That’s why I fled away to Havard. I was looking to simplify my life and start over. Inviting you into my life was an attempt to achieve that, but instead you’ve become a part of my inner circle. And for that, I apologize. ”
In anticipation, her eyes met mine and she gazed at me. “You feel bad for kidnapping me, right?”
“When I put you in harm’s way, I apologize. I’m not sad that Mathew introduced us, however. Honesty in its purest form was the only path ahead. I’m after you, Emily. Please come along with me. Without you, I was a total fuckup. ”
“I wasn’t doing so hot without you, either,” she confessed. “It’s not like this that I want to be with you. Please, may we return to Havard? Believe me, Nicola, I’m a little bit worried. You have opponents in high places, according to what Matthew claimed, and he suggested you’re associated with the mob. He warned me that they would do me harm. ” Her whole body shuddered slightly.
To heck with Mathew for frightening her. Unfortunately, in his attempt to reason with her, he came out as too direct. If I had known the horrible things our enemies might do to her if they captured her, I never would have told her. It was important to me to keep her safe from that terror.
“We can’t go back,” burned on my tongue as I said them to her. I’d want to take her with me, but unfortunately, I wouldn’t be able to keep her safe in that environment. No, not on my own. I had no choice but to give up on the idea of ever having a “normal” life with her. Matthew was correct in stating that this was in fact our life. I had to confront it, and so did Emily.
“I apologize, but be assured that I will do all it takes to ensure your safety. If keeping you here makes you despise me, then so be it. ”
“I…”
“To be clear, I don’t hold any animosity against you. For some reason, I just can’t bring myself to hate you. ”
I felt a wave of relief wash over me like a bright ray of hope.
She doesn’t dislike me at all. Obviously, this was not the same as full-fledged faith in me, but it was a step in the right direction. My plan was to win back her confidence. Time was the only factor involved. She’d become used to living with me and eventually embrace it. She may never be able to go back to how things were before. She was now a part of my life, regardless of whether or not we succeeded in eliminating the immediate threat posed by my father’s opponents.
Though I despised the society I was born into, holding Emily made everything tolerable.
I assured her, “I’m everything Mathew claimed I am. I am even more than that. To reiterate, I am not a decent guy. And I promise to treat you well. When you’re under my care, it’ll be like you’re back at Havard. Although I didn’t want you to know about my background, it was never a deception on my side. I just want the best for you. Despite the fact that I know you’d rather not be here, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. Is there any possibility you’d let me try? ”
Longing squeezed her eyes shut. I gave her all she asked for. What she really needed was to be coddled and doted on.
She pleaded, “Please let me return to class.”
Maybe Mathew was justified in his direct approach to her. She had not yet realized the gravity of the situation.
“I’m sorry I can’t fulfill your request. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to have you back. No, I just can’t let you go. I won’t.”
It was high time Emily realized she was mine. My ownership of her was preexisting. She was clinging to me for support, and I could feel it even as she begged me to let go. Even if our relationship wasn’t progressing as she had hoped, at least we were together. It was a living horror before I had her, so I had no regrets about keeping her.
There’s no need for me to tell her how great things might be between us; I’d simply have to remind myself.
I repositioned my hand in her hair to grab her neck, and I drew her closer to me until I could kiss her.
Ugh, I had totally forgotten how delicious she was; it was like tasting evil emanating from an angel’s lips.
This morning, I had licked at the salt of her tears, but they were remorseful kisses designed to comfort her.
Not at this time, I decided. I had a want to eat her up.
Her lips opened and I thrust my tongue into her mouth with a groan of want. Contrasting the near brutality with which I had captured her lips, I slipped my other hand up her thigh. I bit down on them, kissing her so passionately that it caused her lips to puff out.
. I wanted her to show signs of having been my. Even if I couldn’t leave a permanent scar on her flesh, I could still indulge in this one nefarious pleasure. When I wanted to do anything naughty to my precious, pure angel, I would stop myself because I knew she was too little to understand.
When I felt around under the silk nightgown, I saw that her lower lips were puffy as well. She was polished and prepared for my arrival. In an innocent gesture, I ran my thumb over her clit. Tough, demanding. She whimpered into my ear, and I gobbled up every syllable.
Pulling away from her nipple, I palmed her breasts to reacquaint myself with their weight and form before committing the beauty of her peaked nipples to memory.
As disappointing as it may be, it wasn’t enough. Feeling her through the fabric was nice, but I had to see her.
She made a little moan of protest as I tore my lips away from hers. Her fingers interlaced with mine on my shoulders as she reached out to hug me.