Is it? I look at James, too, and my eyes are cold.
“Do you think I don’t hate you? I look at James.
James is horrified. “Why? Why do you hate me?”
He is a man who even forgot what he has done.
It’s funny.
I push James away hard and look at him derisively.
“Since you don’t know, then guess it, sooner or later you will remember why.” I say.
We look at each other, and there is no temperature in our eyes.
James hates me for not telling him the existence of Ella for so many years, while the reason I hate him is that he killed my father. He is a tied with my father’s death.
I send Morley a message telling him to go back first. Ella is no longer in the kindergarten.
I watch Morley drive away.
“Where is Ella? I clench my fists. “That’s my daughter. I told you it has nothing to do with you.”
“It’s not up to you to decide. Just wait.” James loosens his tie and drives off with a stiff face.
I have butterflies in my stomach. What will happen to Ella? Where did James take her?
“I must see Ella right away; I must see her!” I shout, looking up to James.
“Sure.” James smiles at me and says, “I just want you to meet my daughter, too.”
“She is not your daughter.” I say it again.
James is laughing, not saying anything.
James must have hidden Ella somewhere. I can see her, but I can’t take her away.
I don’t know what James will do to us, not knowing if he will take Ella away from me.
I feel nervous as I watch James’s sullen face.
James takes me to a house I’ve never been to before.
It’s a villa area.
After arriving, I couldn’t wait to run in.
Ella is crying.
“‘Mother!” Ella runs towards me as soon as she sees me.
“Ella! Mother is here!” I hold Ella in my arms.
Behind her are several women. They are probably the babysitters James has hired for her.
“I thought I would never you again!” Ella’s crying face is dirty and her eyes are red.
I take out my tissue and help her wipe her face. “Mom will find Ella no matter where she goes.”
“Mr. James!” cry the women in chorus.
I look back at James.
“I will take Ella back with me. No matter where it is, Ella loves our home most.”
“Ella!” James waves at Ella.
Ella looks at me and then at James.
James smiles gently at Ella. “Didn’t you say you want me to be your father? I’m your real father, aren’t you happy?”
“Mother?” Ella looks at me quizzically.
I hide Ella behind me and look at James fiercely. “James, don’t talk nonsense in front of Ella!”
James looks at Ella affectionately. “Carolina, you should stop talking nonsense to Ella. Can you say Ella has nothing to do with me? If you tell lies, you may end up killing the people you care about most.”
James looks at me. “Don’t you dare?”
I open my mouth, saying nothing.
“I know it.” James smiles with satisfaction. “Actually, even if you don’t tell the truth, I have had my hair and Ella’s taken a paternity test. The result will come out soon and we will know everything then.”
I hug Ella so hard that I know everything is over.
I am screwed from the beginning, because James knows everything from the beginning. He knows I am Carolina, so he is with me the whole time. He is just waiting for it to come to a head and then he takes a big turn.
“James, can’t you really let us go? It will be better if we are just strangers. You go on with your life and I will go on with mine. You have a beautiful fiancé. I will be the obstacle between you.” I beg.
James isn’t moved. “Carolina, can’t you just look at me? Look how I feel about you.”
I know I love him, but the love has cost my family so much that if I am still with James, my mother would never have found rest in heaven.
“James, your mother destroyed my family. How can I be with you? How can I love someone who killed my father? Can we still love each other? It happens because of you and me. We should never have known each other.” I pick Ella up and walk on.
James’s eyes remain cold as he watches me walk to the front door and open it.
But it’s locked, and I can’t open it.
I bang on the door and shout, “Open the door! Open the door, James!”
“Don’t beat a dead horse. I won’t open the door. You and Ella are my family and I won’t allow us to be apart.” James’s voice is so cold. It makes me scared.
Because I know what he says is true, he won’t let me leave the house.
“James!” I shout.
James listens quietly.
“Do you think I’ll be by your side? I won’t! There is hatred between you and me. There will is no love! I don’t love you anymore! Did you hear that?” I say in disgust, watching James’s face getting uglier.
I finally revenge, but why I still feel so painful, and not feeling happy at all.
“Take Ella down first.” James says to the babysitters.
Two nannies come out after me and walk over.
“What do you want? I hug Ella and look at them in horror.
“James, do you want Ella to leave me? Do you want to separate us? James, don’t make me hate you!” I am shaking, I am screaming. I am watching them coming in front of us.
“You can’t take Ella! You can’t! She’s my daughter! She is mine! Let go of me!” I hold Ella tightly and shout helplessly.
Ella is everything to me, I can’t lose her! I can’t!
Ella bursts into tears, “No! I don’t want to be separated from my mother! No!”
I try all my strength but could not protect Ella. I watch Ella being robbed by others.
“Ella!” I cry in despair.
Ella looks at me with tears in her eyes and is taken away.
“James, how cruel you are! James!” I fall to my knees and cry myself out.
James crouches down, lifts his finger to my chin, and looks at my tear-stained face.
“How can you think that? Nobody is going to take Ella away from you.” James takes the white silk handkerchief and gently wipes the tear marks on my face, carefully and lovingly.
I look at him in the eyes. He is so gentle now, with no trace of violence.
It’s the James I am familiar with.
“Really? Are you sure you won’t take Ella away? You’ll take her away.” I take his hand and look at him nervously.
James smiles and says, “Of course not. You are her mother and I am her father. We are a family and we should live together as a family. Don’t worry, you will stay here and you will be happy with Ella every day.”
I let go of his hand, because I understand what he means. Ella will definitely stay in the Orlando family, and I can only see Ella if I live with them. Otherwise, Ella will never meet me again, and she will leave me completely.
I am filled with despair.
James wipes my face clean and sorts out my wild hair. He is smiling happily.
Then he picks me up and puts me on the sofa.
I am in amazement, not knowing what happens.
“Carolina, aren’t we family? Families are meant to live together.” James holds my face in his hands. He seems to be pleading.
He waits eagerly for my reply.
“I grew up without my parents being my side, and I don’t want my kid to live such life, you know? Ella is my child as well as yours. Don’t you think about her future? The absence of a father in childhood can be cruel to a child.” James’s voice slowly grows lighter and lighter.
He seems to be thinking of his own childhood, and it is a terrible thing to live in a deformed family.
I don’t know what he’s been through before, but I’m really shaken at this moment. I know what family harmony means to children.
But I can’t! I can’t! No one at home will forgive me.
“You love me, I know it. If you love me, why can’t we live together?” James pinches my chin, looks me in the eyes and says firmly, “Don’t you think so?”
He’s seducing me.
“No, I do not love you.” I bite my teeth, “I do not love you. There is only hatred in my heart. Otherwise, why don’t I come back for you? Why don’t you hear about Ella? All these happened because I planned these to take revenge on you and your mother. I approached you to take advantage of you! I want to see how you look like when you see a woman who looks just like Carolina. Don’t you think I made it in the end?” I give James a cruel smile.
Every word stabs at my heart.
James turns his fierce eyes to me again. The last thing he wants to hear is that I don’t love him.
I know, that’s why I say it to him.
“Is it? You don’t love me.” James shakes his head in disbelief, stands up, and looks down at me.
“If so, then I’m really sorry. You won’t see Ella again. Since you don’t want to be Ella’s mother, many would love to. Carolina, I ask you for the last time. Do you agree or not?”
James looks down at me with a kind of determination. He is trying to drive me to the wall.