I am shocked and my heart clenches. After many years, I have not been immune to his love words.
However, I immediately smile and say, “Mr. James, who did you say that to?” I step forward and look him in the eyes. “If it’s me, you will cheat on Carolina. After all, I’m not her, and if you are talking to her, then what am I? Substitute? I’m sorry. I’m not interested in being someone else’s substitute..”
Undeniably, I really care about it in my heart.
I am so close to him that I could feel he is nervous. His eyes are riveted on my face, and he can’t escape.
“Is there any difference?” James says, taking a step back.
We stand within a safe distance from each other.
“No?” I look down.
Maybe in his eyes, we are the same one, but it’s not. I don’t know what I am thinking about.
“Carl, let’s go. It’s late. I’ll send you back.” Morley reminds me.
I look at James, and James squints at Morley.
“Mr. Morley, maybe we still have something to talk about.” James says.
Morley smiles apologetically, “It doesn’t seem to be convenient today.”
“It’s fine. Let’s come together. If Miss Carl is your friend, I don’t think she would care.” James faintly glances at me, as if the tension between us is gone.
“Carl, why don’t you go home first?” Morley looks at me worriedly, “Although I don’t know what happened to you, I really worry about you.”
I know how uncomfortable I look now.
James has been standing not far away looking at us. His eyes are getting darker and gloomy, which scare people.
“Let’s go together.” I withdraw my eyes in horror.
James’ temper becomes changeful. Sometimes he is in good mood, but sometimes he loses his temper.
“I originally want to visit Mr. James today. It is a coincidence to meet Carl here.” Morley says politely.
James sits opposite and looks at us.
“I mentioned to Carl that I am going to come to Sheffield to work with you, but I don’t expect you met first. I wonder if there are other connections here?” Morley ventures. “Why are you going to go after Carl?”
Maybe Morley has guessed something. He says that just to prove his guess.
“She looks like my old friend.” James looks at me still coldly, “The one I’ll never be able to forget.”
I suddenly look up, and happen to meet his eyes, and then I look away hurriedly.
“Isn’t that unfair to Carl?” Morley looks at me. “She is the Carl Nida, not your old friend.”
His eyes are sad, as if wants to say something. He says that I am Carl, not Carolina.
“Really?” James says with displeasure. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who she is. Miss Carl, you will fall in love with me.”
I know I will, but I will also make you pay the price. James, sorry.
James and I stare at each other, perhaps trying to look into each other’s hearts.
“Mr. James!” Morley stands up abruptly, “I remember I have something else to do. I can only take Carl away first.”
Morley takes my hand.
I recollect my mind and look at him.
“Let’s go, it will get dark for a while, and your family will worry you.” Morley reminds me, also warns me.
I sober all at once and remember that Ella is at home.
“Family?”
And James seems to have grasped the point of this sentence, “Is there anyone in the family waiting for you?”
“Family.” I say.
James looks at me thoughtfully.
I don’t know what he is thinking, and I follow Morley, intending to leave.
“Carl Nida, Carolina.” James looks at me playfully, “No matter who you are, you will be mine.”
There is an assured confidence in his eyes, and he is so overbearing that people cannot refuse.
“Let’s go.” Morley grabs me, “Mr. James, we have to go now. After all, there are still people waiting for us at home.”
James smiles and says, “Okay.”
Although he is laughing, his smile is so scary.
It is late when I come out of James’ house.
Morley seems to be angry and stops talking to me when we get in the car.
I don’t know how to speak to him about this matter.
Morley drives fast on the road. I look out the window. I used to walk on this road to see James. Five years later, nothing has changed.
It’s only us who have changed.
“I have known you for so long, but you never tell me what happened before, and I don’t ask. But Carolina, do you know how embarrassed I am today?” Morley says suddenly.
“I didn’t expect you to come here.” I say.
Morley seems to force back something.
“It won’t be that simple for you to return to Sheffield. What do you want to do? And who is Ella’s father?”
Morley is getting aggressive.
“Morley, that’s my business. I don’t want to get you involved. Haven’t you known it all these years? Then you might just be kept ignorant of it. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s because it’s not good for you to know much of my past.”
I can’t let anyone around me get in trouble any more. I know Isabel’s tactics and I know I might still be intimidated by her, and I won’t put anyone around me into danger.
Morley slams on the car and stops the car aside.
He looks at me and says solemnly, “Carolina, do you consider me as your friend? I thought you trust me for so many years, but you didn’t. You already know everything about me, but I don’t. I’m like an outsider.”
He is angry, but it isn’t just as simple as being angry.
“Morley, you have helped me a lot. I am grateful to you. If you want to know it, I will tell you all.” I say, “But we are just friends.”
Maybe it’s my delusions that Morley today is cranky and not as calm as before. Maybe James stimulates him.
Morley turns away from me as if I have seen through his mind. “There is something I want to tell you, but I don’t have the guts. All these years, you’ve been so far away from me. I have always thought that you are leaving soon, but I can’t do anything about it.”
“Morley.” I pat his shoulder gently and say, “You deserve someone better. You will always be my good friend, really.”
When Morley looks at me again, he shakes off the sad look. “You are really hateful.” He says with a slight smile.
“I know,” I’m sorry, Morley. I can only do this.
“Actually, when James asked me who I am, and said he wants to chase you, I wished I could say no because I was your boyfriend, but I was not qualified.” Morley’s expression remains somber. “I always thought it was good that we were always like this. You are here, and so am I, only you and me.”
“We are not in love after all.” I say ruthlessly.
Morley couldn’t even fake a smile, “Okay, I know, I am crossed in love. Fine.”
I laugh, “Let’s go, Ella is still at home.”
“Are we still friends?” Morley says very seriously.
I nod, “Of course.”
“Then I will be Ella’s godfather.” Morley says aggressively, “It can only be me!”
“Okay, prepare for the lucky money, and I will tell Ella that you are her godfather.” I glare at him and then smile.
I really cherish this friend, and I don’t want to complicate our relationship. This is the best ending.
When I get home, Ella is already asleep. The nanny sees me back, and she goes to reheat the meal.
Morley doesn’t come up. I sit at the dinner table alone, thinking about that has happened today.
I don’t know why I can’t calm down all the time. I have planned and prepared for this before, but I just couldn’t calm down when I saw James.
It’s bad.
James really does what he said, and I am caught off guard by his pursuit.
The next day, James has come to my house downstairs.
It’s within my expectation. I have already guessed that he will check me out, including the past of my identity, my personal relationship and so on.
And Ella.
I take Ella’s hand downstairs, and as soon as I get out of the stairs, I see James.
I take Ella’s hand nervously and look at him warily.
“Why are you here?” I am worried, and I’m afraid James knows who Ella is.
“I want to chase you.” James looks at Ella.
“The child is cute.” James says.
In order to prevent James from finding Ella’s date of birth, I changed Ella’s date of birth to half a year later.
Only then will James not think that I am Carolina and Ella is his child.
No one knows that I was pregnant when I left.
Ella stares at James very curiously, her big eyes intently, “Mom, who is this uncle?”
“Mother’s friend.” I say, pulling Ella, “I will take you to the playground for a while.”
James squats down and smiles softly at Ella, “Little kid, how about I become your father in the future?”
I am anxious all at once, and I am also very ashamed, “Why do you say that to a child!”
Ella looks back at me, “Mom?”
“Don’t talk nonsense to the child, and I won’t agree!” I say angrily.
James smiles, “I am asking the kid, not you.”
Ella frowns, thinks for a while and says, “But I already have a father.”
The smile on James’s face freezes, and the look in his eyes is cold and piercing, “Is that right?”