The woman in the photo is very beautiful, with big eyes and an oval face. She is a perfect match with James, who looks very graceful.
Unlike me, James and I don’t fit in well. We’re so far apart.
Over the years, I’ve forgotten what he looks like. Did those days really exist? He proposed to me in the ruins and saved me from the danger. Many years have passed, and these scenes gradually fade in my mind and become a shadow of nothingness.
However, when I see his picture with someone beside him, my heart hurts for some reason.
I don’t care. Yes, I don’t care. I persuade myself that there is only hatred between us, and there can be no more love.
I take a deep breath, put aside the picture of James and the woman, and then look at the information.
James has rapidly expanded his wealth empire in recent years. Not only did he take all of the former property of the Orlando family, but also swallowed up the rival businesses, forming the most powerful corporate empire in the Central State.
For a while, James has become successful. He is no longer the James I knew before who was forced to be under the control of the Orlando Family. Now, it seems he can do as he pleases in his field.
Isabel has come back fair and square, not as the mistress of the Orlando family but as one of the legal shareholders of the Orlando Group.
By the time I finished reading the information, it is late at night. I look out of the window at the lonely starry sky and feel solitary and sad. I lose the desire to fight in the daytime as night comes. I don’t know why, but when I think of James, I become less ambitious.
It is like that I could never believe he would hurt my father, but he did. It’s also like that I can’t hurt James, but I have to.
The next day.
I go to Sheffield from the South State. The press, which also has a branch in Sheffield, comes early to meet me.
“I didn’t expect you to be so popular. What does your book write about?” Morley drives amid the crowd, and feels puzzle when he looks at the fans waiting outside.
“I just scribbled.” I say with a smile.
Slowly, the smile on my face fates away. In fact, I have put all my hearts and souls in the Deep Love, just like I am writing my own story, but the story is so elusive. Everyone loves to have a fairy-tale-like love. But when it comes to reality, it doesn’t exist.
Ella speaks in a soft tone. She looks at the world outside the window, and feels curious.
I hug her, “Will Ella like it?”
Ella frowns, “I don’t have any friends here.”
“How about uncle playing with you?” Morley picks Ella up and coaxes her, “What do you want to play? I have anything you want.”
Ella stares at him with bright eyes and asks, “Aren’t you really my father?”
Morley freezes for a moment and says, “Ella wants me to be your father?”
Ella squints and nods happily, “Yes! Other kids have fathers, but I don’t. This is unfair. I wish you were my father.” Ella sighs, “But I know you are not…”
“The kid likes to talk nonsense.” I take Ella from Morley’s hand, feeling embarrassed. “Don’t take it to heart.”
Morley touches Ella’s head, his eyes soft. “You know I won’t mind.”
I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I always feel that the vibe is weird, but I can’t tell it.
“Okay, here we are.” Morley smiles softly at me. I seem to see the loneliness in his eyes.
I am suspicious, but I still don’t ask.
He drives directly to the underground garage, and then we go upstairs to the Sky Sea press.
“Nice to meet you, Miss Carl, I am Bowen.” Bowen introduces himself and then takes me to the manager’s office.
Morley leads Ella behind me. I look back and Morley takes Ella’s hand and waves at me.
“You have a nice family. Your husband must love you very much, and your daughter is very lovely!” Bowen says with some envy.
“He is not my husband.” I say.
Morley stands not far away. His expression looks calm, and he takes Ella’s hand and stops walking forward, “We stay here waiting for mom.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know.” Bowen smiles in embarrassment.
“It’s okay.” I look at them, feeling a little moved.
If the person with Ella was her biological father, would everything be different?
Bowen takes me to see Grace Lee, the person in charge here. Grace negotiates with me about the press conference and discusses some follow-up issues.
“Deep Love is so popular nowadays, and there are several media companies that want to buy film and television rights. You can have a look, choose a partner and sign the contract.” Grace says, passing me the relevant materials of several prospective companies.
“Okay, I’ll see it then.” I take it and don’t open it immediately.
Grace is a vigorous and resolute person. She glances at me and says, “Could you give me the reply as soon as possible? They are waiting for you. I have looked at it and found that these conditions are not bad, and their reputations are good as well.”
“Yes.” I nod and say, “I see. Let’s discuss it after the press conference of the final chapter.”
Grace actually doesn’t like me. I can feel it. But I don’t why. I just have the feeling.
She looks at me for a long time and then says, “Actually, I have seen a person who looks a lot like you before, but that person passed away unexpectedly; otherwise I really think you were her.”
I am shocked by her words, “She looks like me and passed away?”
“Yes.” Grace’s gaze is riveted on my face, “I have only met her a few times, and she was a reporter, but she died from an air crash.”
I tried to make some expression, but I found it difficult.
The air crash. The reporter. The girl looks like me. That is Carolina.
“That’s a coincidence.” I avoid her sight and say, “If there is nothing else, I will go and prepare for the conference.”
I walk out in a trance. This is the first time I met someone who has seen me before, but I didn’t have the slightest impression of her.
This feeling is very strange. You will be shocked, and you will look forward to it. You don’t want to be discovered. In fact, you are not willing to die like this. This ambivalence is very tormenting.
What would James think if he sees me? I have been dreaming, but finally cannot imagine it. I haven’t met him for a long time, and he has left me for so long that I really cannot figure out what he would react usually.
I find a place to stay here, and Morley drives me and Ella back.
“Do you have business here?” I ask, hugging Ella.
Ella sleeps soundly in my arms.
Morley looks back at us, “I have some business with Orlando Group. If I can get the cooperation, I may be in Sheffield recently.”
“Orlando Group?”
Morley looks back at me again, with some doubts in his eyes, “What’s the matter?”
Maybe I don’t even notice that my voice is shaking.
“Nothing, just ask.” I conceal my panic hastily.
Morley says, “Orlando Group has developed too fast in recent years. Our family has also taken a fancy to Orlando Group, but I don’t know if we can cooperate.”
“Really? I don’t know that.” I sort out Ella’s clothes and lower my head.
“You were from Sheffield, I remember.” Morley says.
“I have never asked about you before, but now you choose to come back. Can you tell me why? And who is Ella’s father? I have never asked about this. Carolina, if you don’t want to tell me, I won’t ask. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t care. I care about all your things.”
Morley gets more excited as he talks, and simply parks the car aside.
“There are some things I don’t want to say. It’s all over now. I want to come back and see the place I used to live, and that’s all.” I am afraid to look at him because I am lying.
“Also, I thank you for your caring. As a friend, I am glad that you care about me so much.” I say.
I look at him calmly, and meet his sad eyes.
He does not speak.
“Morley, we have known each other for so many years. Being friends is really good.” I hope my guess is wrong.
“Okay, I get it. It’s fine if you don’t want to say it.” Morley turns around to start the car, his tone flat and calm, “Remember to call me if anything comes up.”
“OK.” I say.
I look out the window. Everything here is so familiar to me; I’ve run down the street, interviewing passersby; I’ve stayed there with James and watched the sunset together.
And it’s the place where I grew up, and the place where my parents were buried. Everything is so familiar.
The rented house is far away from my previous home, as I am afraid of meeting my previous neighbors, and I’m afraid I can’t control my feelings.
The two-bedroom house is very clean and tidy.
Morley stays for a moment and then leaves. Before he leaves, he looks at me and says, “How I wish that you can be happy.”
His words make me suddenly fall into a sense of loss, and I sit on the sofa in a daze.
Happy? It isn’t easy. I smile wryly and wonder why Morley said it.
The phone vibrates, and I recollect my thoughts.
“James is at the underground gambling house on Nanjing Road.”
It’s Hart, the one I ask to keep watching James.
The underground gambling house on Nanjing Road is a golden nest for the rich.
James, I don’t know how you have been recently. I smile coldly.
After I coax Ella into sleeping, I dress up, put on makeup, and take a taxi to the Nanjing Road.
I can’t get into the place like the underground gambling house on Nanjing Road, as I don’t have that identity.
What I can do is appear in front of him at the right time.
James, I really want to see how you look like when you see me.
I wear a smile dress, looking capable with a touch of makeup. I’m a lot like what I was before, but I’m not whom I used to be.
I even went to the hospital for fine-tuning surgery and removed the scars on my body, which makes me look more delicate. I have long been not whom I used to be.
The underground gambling house, connected with a building, shares a special passage. After receiving information from Hart, I pretend to walk down from the building.
I walk in front of them, and behind me is the sound of his footsteps.
I get to the door, lower my head against the light, and look at my watch.
The footsteps behind me become faster and more urgent, and my heart begins to beat violently.
Suddenly, someone grabs my hand, and I turn around unexpectedly, and look at the person in front of me.
There is surprise in his eyes, and then it turns to doubts. He cautiously asks, “Carolina?”