“Only in this way can we be happy. I won’t ask for your promise. Everyone is an adult. You know what adult happiness is.” I say with confidence, just relying on the little interest of the man in me.
James doesn’t speak, maybe he is thinking about the meaning of my words. I subconsciously avoided and squeeze my own hand nervously.
James, I am really fascinated by you, but I have no right to love you.
James laughs, seemingly doesn’t believe me, “Can you not be jealous about other women? I will also go to bed with other women, and I will love them, and I will do the same thing that I do with you, don’t you mind? Carol, I hope you can adhere to your own heart. If this is what you want. Well, I will play better than anyone.”
James looks at me, the sharp eyes seem to wipe out me, giving me a clear view of my heart.
I have no courage to cope up with this before. I see what James is like. I can’t be his stain, but I love his love and can only use this method.
“Okay, I can do it,” I say with soreness in my heart.
I don’t know if I can do it, but this is by far the only way I can think of to stay with him, and I don’t want to let me drag him down.
Or maybe I don’t have that courage at all.
How selfish I am.
“Okay, we only have sex and no love.” James pinches my chin and rubs my lips with my thumb, “Then you will only be one of my many lovers, and you will not be the only one.”
I nod gently but feel very embarrassed. I don’t know why I get to this situation.
“Carol, you are really capable.” James’s complexion becomes unfathomable, his thumb twists strongly on my lips and kiss.
He bites my lips hard, and I taste the blood.
“Carol, I hope you can keep your words, and don’t regret it.”
I don’t speak, licking the blood on my lips. I feel ridiculous.
We are frank that night.
*****
We climb the climax together and finally fall on the bed.
James’s eyes are clear, and he looks at me without revealing traces. I look at him and couldn’t understand anything.
In this way, James and I maintain an unclear relationship. This relationship makes me breathless and more depressing, but there is no way. I had no right to ask James, and I am not a free person.
The manuscript I wrote before is suppressed before it is submitted. The newspaper office is afraid that they would offend the forces behind the Club.
It is I who always urges the manuscript to be submitted and promised to do everything by myself, and the editor barely agrees.
The manuscript immediately causes a huge response in the society. With the birth of the second manuscript, the Club is pushed to the forefront.
The editor-in-chief is worried and always feels that he will be retaliated.
If I tell him that I have been kidnapped before, wouldn’t he be scared to death?
“It’s okay.” I console the editor.
James promises me that he would settle everything down.
As a result, the Club is directly shut down and checked, and all the personnel involved are taken back to the bureau for investigation.
Congratulations.
When I think of James, I can’t do anything. I’m upset and irritable, I miss him.
This kind of thinking is very tortured and pervasive. When you miss him, you will think of him, thinking what he is doing at this time, and thinking whether he is like me who misses me the same.
But I can only suppress my feelings at the bottom of my heart, pretending to be free and easy, and do not love him.
“Dine together tonight.”
Before work, James sends me a message and the place to meet.
Before, we agree that only sex and no love, what attitude, and identity should I go to now?
But I still go, with hope in my heart.
This is a KYV. Someone brings me into the private room.
Just as the door opens, my smile stiffens on my face.
James is next to two girls, pure and beautiful, and hot.
And I am standing at the gate, choked, and couldn’t move forward or backward.
Suddenly, my body seems to have been drained of all my strength and my face is pale.