They didn’t talk about it the rest of the night, nor in the morning and all the way back to Chestnut. But they could feel the weight of it burdened their minds.
Has she severed any chance of being with him? In hindsight, she realized what he meant when he said she had too much to drink. She regretted it now that she remember how brazen of her to have reached inside his boxer.
She squeezed her eyes shut and touched her forehead when the image of him backing away from her flashed in her head.
“Are you okay?” Theo asked. He lowered her bags on the foyer and took out the rest of her stuff from the trunk.
“I’m fine,” she didn’t realize he was watching.
The house was still empty, her parents were still in Gastonbury for another week or so. She just had the most memorable getaway at the lake and the quiet house felt daunting.
“Are you going back home?” she asked.
Theo paused for a moment, bewildered by her question, “Yeah … do you need anything?”
She shook her head, “Can you close the door?”
He closed the door behind him and shut the world outside.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she felt like she needed to address it.
He looked at his feet and shrugged, “No need to apology … you were a little drunk,” he scoffed.
“I was … but I wasn’t sorry for the kiss …” it took a lot for her to admit it, “I was sorry for scaring you away,” she added.
He walked over to her, “I wasn’t scared … I was surprised … I didn’t expect everything to happen so quickly.”
She was sober now and he was standing right in front of her. Her heart pounded faster, their faces almost touched.
“I thought the kiss was perfect,” he said under his breath as he leaned closer to her waiting for her to react. “Maybe we should have a do-over to see where it leads this time?”
She dived into his lips that was waiting for her kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pushed her all the way back against the wall. This time he was bolder, greedy and confident. She instinctively lift her legs up and hugged his waist, she wanted to feel him bulging between her thighs.
The kiss had took their breaths away, his mouth trailed to her neck and to her collar bone. He lifted her shirt and then his top was off too. He was getting ready to strip her off what was left on her skin.
“Wait …” she said between her breaths. She put her hands on his cheeks as she looked into his eyes, “I’ve never done this before,” she said.
She could see the light went out in his eyes.
“What? You’re kidding, right?”
She shook her head, “I’ve never done it before.”
He pressed his forehead on her shoulder, he was panting. She put her legs down on the floor, “I can’t do this … Micky … I didn’t know … I thought you’ve done this before, I mean … with Lee?”
She held his arms, “I want to do it with you.”
He stared into her eyes and lost all thoughts. What does he do with that kind of statement? He shook his head, “I don’t know … I mean … are you sure?”
“Please … I’ve always wanted you to be my first,” the truth finally come out. It was what she always wanted all along.
Something about what she said melted his will to back down. He kissed her forehead and trailed down to her lips. He started slow again to see if he could slow down the momentum, but kissing her was electrifying.
He was helpless. Every cell in his body reacted to her, he wanted it bad. His mouth soon find its way to her shoulder. Her bra strap fell off and her breast was peeking out from behind it. The image of what he was about to do to her started forming in his mind.
He buried his face on her neck, “Your brother is going to fucking kill me,” he said.
“Take me upstairs,” she whispered in his ear.
With one swift move, he carried her up the stairs. Their lips locked. His hands on her bottom, her hands on his face. Her bra came off on the steps. He couldn’t wait to get to her room and strip her off from the rest of her clothes.
He laid her on her back, he pulled off her pants and soon they were both naked. He stared down at her and she rolled away shyly. ‘Shit’ he thought, ‘What the fuck am I doing?’ he was aware of the magnitude of his action but he couldn’t turn away now.
He hovered over her, he had to ask, “Are you absolutely sure about this?” because he was definitely not sure.
She nodded. He could see she was nervous, but she wanted it. She couldn’t possibly wanted it more than he does, he thought.
“It’ll hurt a little … just tell me when to stop,” he said.
Her hands were cold now, and she grabbed his face to kiss her. She didn’t care how he was going to do it, she just wanted him to do it.
He could feel her getting wet as he rubbed against her. She was enjoying their kiss and his hand on her breast. He slid his way in carefully as he watched her winced and held her breath every now and then.
“Are you okay?” he kept checking.
She nodded. She wiggled her hips to make the process smoother. She grunted.
“Are you okay?” he checked again.
She laughed, “I’m okay … please stop asking … I’m trying to enjoy this.”
“I’m sorry … I thought I hurt you …”
She looked into his eyes. He was looking back at her. She smiled. And he felt something he never felt before. He cared so much more about her now that he was inside her. She felt warm, and slippery. She sighed and bit her lower lip. She felt the pain but also the pleasure, but it was all pleasure for him. He was falling in love.
“I like this,” she said.
He was ready to burst when she said it. It wasn’t his first time to be with a virgin, but this felt like his first time more than anything. He kissed her all over, “I’m gonna pull out … I think I’m coming.”
He pulled out and erupted on her. She felt the warmth on her stomach and watched observantly as he groaned. She was dazzled by the whole thing. How her body felt and reacted to his. How she never felt so sure about it with Lee but it was different with Theo, he felt … right.
He collapsed beside her still catching his breath. “Did I hurt you?” it was the first thing on his mind.
She leaned over to him and kissed his shoulder, “It stung a little … it’s kinda weird … but I liked it … is that how it suppose to feel?”
He laughed lightly, “I think you’ll enjoy it better the second time and the third time … and the hundredth of time …” he turned to kiss her.
“You promise?” she asked.
He smiled, “I thought you said you wanted me to be your first … is there going to be a second and a third?” he laughed lightly.
“Are you saying that was the only time you’re going to do it with me?” she clapped back.
“Not a chance … I think we should do it very very often,” he laughed. “And I’m gonna have to figure out what to say to your brother … you know he’s going to kill me, right?”
“Well … he’s gonna have to wait … ’cause we need to get cleaned up … let’s hit the shower,” she pulled him up.