Showing up at school on Monday was hard. She didn’t know how she would feel if she had to bump in to Lee. Her eyes were still swollen from the crying that occurred every time she thought about the breakup. So she put on sunglasses to hide them.
She kept her chin up, her back straight, and pretended like it’s just another day at school. She dressed up more than usual because Jan advised her to look her best so that when Lee saw her, he would be reminded of what he was missing. Though she didn’t feel as good as she looked, she wasn’t even sure if she looked good at all because how terrible she felt inside.
Jan slapped her butt after they got to her locker, “You got this babe, he wanted you to move on … maybe you should show him how fast you can do it.” Then she walked away with a wave.
It was easier said than done. For Hazel, she didn’t really want to move on, she wanted Lee to stay. ‘This doesn’t change anything’ whatever that means. He’s not her boyfriend anymore? Right?
She had a stack of paper she did with Jan the night before. She bundled them up in a folder. They were Marlon’s assignments for that day. She hadn’t seen his car that morning, so she put the papers in her locker.
Hazel could hardly concentrate at school. She doodled on her notebooks as her mind drifted away to Lee, memories of them kissing, cuddling, they were so much in love just days before. Where is he? Is he avoiding her as much as she’s avoiding him. Does he miss her as much as she misses him? Pfft ….
“Miss Williams … please take off your sunglasses while in the classroom,” her English teacher told her.
She was deep in her daydream she had forgotten to take them off. “I’m sorry,” she said as she took them down.
The classroom buzzed with giggles.
Once the shades came off, she realized Marlon was staring at her from the front right seat. She didn’t even realize he was there when the class started. She looked away not wanting to interact with him. He was in his usual non-expressive face, bored out of his mind during class, but he just kept his head down.
When the bell rang, Hazel put her shades back on, gathered her things and walked out of the classroom ignoring Marlon’s call.
“Hey … hey … didn’t you hear me calling you?” he ran after her all the way to her locker.
“I heard you,” she said coldly.
He looked confused, “What’s with the shades?” He noticed her swollen eyes but didn’t want to assume anything.
Hazel opened her locker and took out the folder she had prepared for him and shoved it on his chest.
“What’s this?”
“Your assignment for today … have fun,” she said with a slightly angry tone.
“What?” Marlon took the folder but looked totally confused. “Is there something wrong? We’re studying together after school, right?”
“Not today, or … ever …” she exchanged her books in the locker and slammed it shut. She didn’t even give him a glance before walking away from him.
“Whoaa … wait …” he grabbed her wrist, “What is it? Did I do something wrong?”
She yanked her arm away and kept walking towards the exit to the school yard. “Really? You’re going to pretend you don’t know?”
“I don’t … ” he let out a frustrated sigh, “Can you stop and tell me what’s this all about?”
“I thought you were my friend,” she snapped at him. “Do you think I wouldn’t hear about it? The whole school knows and you didn’t even have the decency to at least tell me you were having a party??”
As if a light bulb just lit up in his head, “Ooh … the party … is that why you’re mad at me?”
He was smiling in amusement which made Hazel even angrier. “I can’t believe you think this is funny, you invited the whole town, and you didn’t even tell me … I’m not mad, okay? I’m hurt … ’cause I really thought you were my friend.”
She wasn’t interested in hearing what he had to say, she just wanted to tell him how hurtful it was. She walked away.
“Hazel … would you let me explain?”
“No … I don’t care if you didn’t want to invite me to your ‘cool’ parties, okay? I just …” she sighed. “I thought we’re friends … how stupid I was to think I was anything other than your ‘tutor girl'”
She turned to look at Marlon who was still following her, she could see from the corner of her eye, far across the soccer field Lee was looking at them. Her heart sank. It was the first time she had seen him after the breakup. Her insides felt jumbled up.
“You’re not my ‘tutor girl’ … gosh, where did you get that idea? Are you seriously this mad at me because of that stupid party? I didn’t think you’d come, it was just … and it was on Saturday, I knew you’d be out with Lee on Saturdays … you’ve been going on and on about wanting to spend more time with him so I thought you wouldn’t be interested in a stupid party,” Marlon rambled.
Hazel didn’t really hear what he was saying. She stood frozen for a moment looking at Lee who was watching them from afar. Their eyes stared at each other but there was nothing exchanged, and she felt empty. It was worse than she thought, that feeling of losing him even when he was still there.
Lee looked down before walking away. It crushed her. She didn’t care what Marlon was rambling about anymore, she was holding back tears.
“Just leave me alone, Marlon,” she said as she walked towards the bleachers.
“No, I’m not leaving if you’re still mad at me … I’m sorry if you think I didn’t want to invite you … it wasn’t like that,” he kept following.
She couldn’t stop the waterworks anymore, she picked up her pace and ran toward the hollow under the bleachers. She didn’t want anyone to see what she was about to do. But Marlon was on her tail and she couldn’t keep him off.
Hazel covered her face with both hands and cried. It was the place where she used to make out with Lee at break time and ironically she was crying because of him now.
Marlon was dumbfounded, he didn’t know what to do. He thought she was crying because of the party she wasn’t invited to. “Oh my God … I didn’t think it meant that much to you Hazel, I’ll hold another party if that’ll stop your crying,” he said. His face was pale from shock.
“It’s not the party, stupid,” she said between her sobs. “Go away, Marlon … please … just leave me alone,” she pleaded.
He could still see Lee’s back from where he was standing, he noticed the brief interaction just before she started to run. “Did something happen between you and Lee?”
She shook her head, she couldn’t form a word, she was sobbing. “I don’t want to talk about it … can you just go, and please … I can’t study with you today … okay?” She didn’t want to look at him, she was a mess. The bell rang again, it was time for the next class.
“Are you coming back to class now?” he asked.
She shook her head again. How could she when her world was falling apart. Marlon thought for a moment, he looked around and saw all the students were going back into the school for their next class.
“Okay … just wait here … don’t go anywhere, okay?”
She glanced at him and nodded. She wasn’t planning on going anywhere, she thought she would hide there until school was over. Marlon ran inside the school. Once everyone was inside and the school was quiet, he came running back out with his backpack and car keys.
He extended his hand to Hazel, “Come on … let’s get out of here,” he said.