CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
The Wedding
Is the back fine?”
I twist around, trying to see the back of the wedding dress. The white, floor-length gown is made mostly of satin, but there are ruffles and lace ruffles all around the bottom hem and at the sleeves.
It fits my body perfectly and shimmers slightly every time I move. There’s a veil that matches the lace on the dress, but I’m wearing it so that it cascades back over my hair.
I want Dylan to be able to see my face as I walk down that aisle toward him.
Hannah moves the mirror a bit so that I can get a good view. “It’s perfect. You look wonderful.”
I smile nervously. In just over an hour, I’ll be marrying Dylan.
And I still haven’t told him.
I remember that night when I knocked on his door. I was ready to tell him… but when I saw him smiling l warmly at me, I just couldn’t do it. I chickened out. I didn’t want him to look at me with anger.
I told him I was done with my phone conversation and went to bed.
I know, now. I’m not just falling anymore. I am in love with him. I’ve come to realize that over the last six weeks.
I’ve also come to realize that I’m a coward. I love him so much that I’m afraid of losing him, and I’ll do anything to avoid that, even lie to him.
It’s only a lie of omission, but it’s still wrong. Dylan deserves better than that.
There’s still time if you’re having second thoughts,” Hannah tells me quietly.
“I can bring Dylan in here now.
”
“You can still tell him how you feel before the ceremony.”
I look at her, terror in my heart. “I can’t.”
Hannah nods sadly. “I understand.”
My mom comes in and tries to fuss with my hair. “Oh honey, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks, mom.” I dodge out of her way.
I had the hairstylist do my hair exactly how I want it, and there’s no way Dolly will be able to improve on it.
My mom and Hannah come in and out over the next hour, helping me decide how to hold my bouquet, adjusting the fall of my dress, and a dozen other little things. Since my dad has never been in the picture, Dolly will be walking me down the aisle.
We’re leaving the dressing room when it hits me.
I can’t do this without telling Dylan how I feel.
I dig my heels in as Dolly l tries to keep pulling me forward. “I need to talk to Dylan.”
“Don’t be getting cold feet now, honey. Dylan is a lovely man. You’ll be happy with him.” She pulls forcefully on my arm, making me stumble back into motion.
“Where’s Hannah?” I hiss desperately.
She will understand. She won’t have any problem telling the church full of people that they have to wait while I talk to Dylan.
She’s waiting for you by the entrance. Don’t worry, she’ll go ahead of you, just like a bridesmaid should.”
I nod, now going willingly. Hannah will help me.
We get to the door. Hannah glances back at me and sees at once that something is wrong. Instead of walking down the aisle ahead of me, she hurries to my side.
“What is it?”
“I need to talk to Dylan.”
Hannah casts a worried glance into the church. Everyone is seated, waiting for the bride to come.
“I’ll handle it.”
She hurries away in the opposite direction. No doubt she’s going to get to the altar the back way, where the priest enters from, to try to grab Dylan subtly.
“What are you doing?” My mom’s grip on my arm is painful. “Everyone is waiting! Get in there.
Not until I talk to Dylan.” I wrench my arm out of her grip. “If you want me to walk down that aisle, you’ll have to wait.”
Dolly rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath. A few minutes later, Hannah returns with Dylan.
I grab Dylan’s arm and pull him into the nearest empty room.
“What’s wrong?” He puts his hands on my shoulders, his eyes filled with concern.
You don’t want to do this anymore, do you? The fake marriage thing is too much for you?
I open my mouth to tell him everything, but no words come out.
Dylan pulls me into a hug. “It’s ok. Hannah can get you out. I’ll deal with the guests.”
My throat suddenly unsticks. “No!, Dylan, that’s not it. I still want to do this. It’s just that I… I…”
I can’t say it. He looks so handsome in his tux. He really is the man of my dreams. If I say it, that smile will be gone. Even if he magically does feel the same, I’ve still lied to him.
I’m scared,” I admit. It’s as much of my true mental state as I’m able to admit at the moment.
“There’s something you’re not telling me.”
Fuck. He knows me as well as Hannah does.
I nod.
“Tell me, then.”
I shake my head.
“Kenzy. Come on. You can trust me.”
He’s right. I can trust him. I take a deep breath, ready to force the truth out with all the willpower I have.
The door bursts open.
“What are you two doing in here!”
Dolly dashes inside, grabbing my arm in an iron grip. We need to go! The guests are getting impatient. The groom can’t just vanish from the altar when the bride is about to arrive!”
“Mom, wait ”
It’s too late. She’s already dragging me from the room.
Hannah is blocking the corridor outside.
Bless he.
“No, Dolly. We’re waiting until Kenzy is good and ready. This is her wedding, after all.”
Dolly ignores her thoroughly, dragging me past. Suddenly, Luke is there too, ushering Dylan in another direction, no doubt to the altar.
How did she pull him into her scheme?
Luke generally has more respect for my wishes than that. Perhaps she lied to him -told him I was having cold feet and asked for help getting everything moving.
Or maybe she said Dylan was having cold feet and he needed to protect my honor.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that Dolly has me at the church doors before I can think to protest.
Hannah is looking to me for direction, but I don’t know what direction to give. I know she’ll fight to stop this if I tell her to, but I can practically feel pressure on all sides of me, pushing me to walk down that aisle.
I can tell Dylan after the wedding. Right now, I just need to go through the ceremony as we’ve planned out.
Surely, that’ll be fine.
Right?
Hannah seems to take my hesitation for acquiescence or perhaps she’s reading acceptance on my face. I can’t really tell.
She starts walking down the aisle. My mom gets a tighter grip on my arm and straightens my bouquet. She leads me after Hannah.
Dylan is waiting for me at the altar. As I look at him, my worries seem to fade away. The light is silhouetting him, making him look like a prince. My prince is charming.
Dolly gives me over to Dylan. I clutch his hands, staring into his eyes.
I know I should listen to what the priest says, but most of it just goes past me. I’m too busy staring at Dylan.
I should tell him.
I could still tell him, right now. I could lean forward and whisper it to him.
“Do you, Kenzy take Dylan to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
It’s too late to talk to Dylan. There’s really only one thing to say. “I do.”
I mean it. Maybe I’m a bit late on saying it, but I love Dylan. I want to marry him. I only hope that he feels the same way.
“Do you, L
Dylan, take Kenzy to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.”
We exchange rings. I can’t seem to stop grinning.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Dylan and I seem to be magnetically drawn together.
When our lips meet in a kiss, the room explodes in cheers and clapping.
The next few hours are a whirlwind.
We pose for the photographer and let everyone congratulate us one by one. Then comes dinner, but there isn’t really a way for us to talk privately.
Everyone is still crowded around us and constantly trying to draw us into a conversation.
The food is delicious. I eat most of it one-handed. With my other hand, I hold onto Dylan.
Everything is perfect. My worries from earlier fade away. I’m married to the man I love. What could be better than this?
It’s only hours and hours later that Luke and I are finally alone. A driver takes us to the airport. My bags are already packed.
Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I lean into Dylan as we walk. We’ve both changed into slightly more practical traveling clothes.
Nope. It’s a secret.”
Come on, Dylan. I’m going to find out sooner or later.”
“Tell you what – I’ll tell you where we’re going if you’ll tell me what you wanted to tell me before the wedding.”
My throat seems to clamp shut. Dylan knows me well enough to realize I’ll be reluctant to say it now, even though he doesn’t yet know what it is. The rush of the wedding is over, and all of my fears about his reaction come back.
What if this marriage is over before we even go on the honeymoon?
Dylan is looking expectantly at me, and I open my mouth, unsure what’s going to Come out.