Adrian woke up feeling funny, the room was still dark, curtains were drawn. Esmee’s naked body was on top of him, grinding him to wakefulness. “Esmee … stop …” he said with a soaring voice. But she felt so good, he couldn’t resist. She laid on him with her ear to his chest as she grinds away ever so gently. “What are we doing?” something inside him told him to stop. “What we’ve always wanted,” she answered. It didn’t take very long for him to release. But this time, he felt violated. He was struggling with his conscience and she didn’t give him time to decide what he would’ve prevented if she had.
“We can’t do this … it’s not right,” he said, sitting up from the sofa and gathering his clothes. “We were so good last night, don’t you feel the same?” said Esmee. “It was … I did …” she stroked his hair and he held it firmly. “I can’t do this to Jordy, he doesn’t deserve it.”
She tried to convince him that no one has to know, but that’s not the kind of person he was. His consciousness was loud, it was screaming all over his head. He couldn’t look at her anymore, then he left her still naked and crying. He scratched his arms all the way back to The Dungeon, he scratched so hard he didn’t realize his arms were bleeding. His first ever experience with a woman was with his best friend’s girlfriend, he hit his head with his palm. What was he thinking? He lived and worked for this guy, he saved him from homelessness and a life of uncertainty. He was his brother, more than that, Jordan would never do something like this to him. He hit his head twice and scratched even faster. If it weren’t for Jordan, he would have no one in his life … nothing.
He was panting when he arrived at The Dungeon, it was only a little past one in the afternoon. The sun was at its highest and hottest, the worst time of the day for Adrian. Jordan came out from the back door. “Hey! I was just looking for you,” he greeted in his usual persona. “What’s wrong, man? You looked like you’d just seen a ghost?” Adrian didn’t respond, he was hugging himself and he started to shiver. “Jeez dude, you okay?” Adrian nodded “I think I got the fever,” he lied.
“By the way, Friday told me about your little trip to the asylum,” Adrian’s eyes widened, he’s not sure which part Friday told him about. “Thanks for looking out for her, man … I really appreciate it.” Adrian nudged in agreement. “She’s really bummed out for having to go home, I told her to stay safe for a while, but … don’t be surprised if she comes poking out your window at night,” Jordan laughed about it, if anything, his sister’s rebellion reminded him of himself when he was younger.
Jordan patted him on the shoulder and told him to get some rest, he was relieved that Adrian’s name was being cleared from the suspect’s list. Even though the investigation was still ongoing and there was still a possibility that he would be back on that list if they find anything remotely suspicious.
“I think I’m gonna stay at Esmee’s tonight, her dad won’t be back until Tuesday,” that felt like a punch in the stomach for Adrian. “You sure you gonna be alright, man?” all the colors seemed to have left his face but he nodded to the question and went upstairs.
He burst out into vomit on the toilet, every muscle in his gut pushed out every last liquid inside it. The veins on his neck and side forehead were swelling. He was in an agony of guilt.