He turns and looks at the egg flip he is holding as he contemplates saying something. “And I read your diaries.” His eyes meet mine.
My eyes widen. “You read my diaries?” I whisper, mortifie. He nods. “Joshua. They are private, how dare you!” I stand in a rush and he comes over and grabs me in an embrace.
“Tash, I couldn’t help it. I found them when I was looking for pads and shit and then I was just going to read the one where we had sex the first time and then I couldn’t stop.”
I pull out of his grip. “And that’s why you told me you love me, because you read my diaries?”
He shakes his head in a panic. “No, I told you I love you because I do and before I read the diaries I didn’t believe that you actually loved me. I thought you just thought you did.”
“I told you I fucking did!” I scream. “For once it would be nice if you believed what I said!” He is unbelievable, what the hell have I written in those bloody diaries?
He grabs me again. “Baby, stop fighting me. I love you. It doesn’t matter anymore. All of this bullshit that goes on between us doesn’t matter one bit.”
I don’t have the energy to struggle as he wraps his arms around me, and we stand still in an embrace.
“What matters is the two of us being together and me making you happy. I am not going back to America.”
I pull back and frown at him. “Why not?”
“Because I am not leaving you again.”
I smile stupidly. “You’re not?”
He smirks as he shakes his head. “No, I am not.” He bends and kisses me gently.
“And you are going to stop being a drama queen and leaving me every minute.”
I smile. “I am?”
He nods and kisses me. “You are.”
“And you’re not going to America?” I repeat as I rub my hands over his broad shoulders. Hope blooms in my stomach.
“No, presh, I’m not.” He bends and tenderly swipes his tongue through my lips. “Now eat your breakfast because you are going to need your strength.”
“Why will I need my strength?” I ask.
He smirks as his eyes drop down my body and he gently cracks his neck. “Because I have the worst case of blue balls known to man and as soon as you are well enough you are going to cop it … both barrels.”
I giggle as he sits me back onto the stool and he serves up my breakfast.
He bites his toast as he leans over the bench onto his elbows. “You do know I am going to kill Christopher next time I see him, right?” he remarks casually.
My eyes widen and my fork stops midair.
He takes a bite of his toast then smirks and raises an eyebrow in a silent dare to say something.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Why?” I whisper.
He raises an eyebrow again. “You know why.”
Oh shit, what the hell have I written in those bloody diaries? So much for privacy.
It’s been a big day. I told the boys today that I am moving to Australia, and they took it better than expected. I know Murph’s upset … I’m upset. I love LA … but I need Tash in my life and I want to protect her from the paparazzi at all costs. They don’t follow me here in Australia as much as in LA. Cam was fine-he was always coming home to Australia but what does that mean for Adrian? I wish the thing with Nicholas had worked out and then we could have all moved here together.
We have been home for a few hours. Natasha insisted we go to the police station and press charges against this lunatic. She demanded more money today, claiming she had another disk. I have to admit I do feel relieved having done it. It was appalling making the statement but the policemen were understanding, I can’t imagine the horror of my love watching me have sex with a prostitute. She will never look at me the same again if she sees that tape. My heart drops. I’m just so sick of all this drama-what does it feel like to have a normal private life without worry?
I continue reading emails on my laptop and rub my chin as I think. I am sitting up in bed and Natasha has just finished in the shower. My mind wanders to my horse stud-what am I going to do with the move? Natasha walks into the bedroom in a pale pink pair of underpants and a shoestring strap singlet to match. Her thick dark hair is in a loose plait that hangs down her back and her dark skin is in contrast to the pale pink. She looks edible. My cock twitches and I run my tongue over my bottom lip as want starts to fill me.
I watch her walk around to my side of the bed and retrieve her diary from the second drawer. I inhale as she bends next to me … mmm she smells like soap. I start to feel my pulse between my legs. I put my hand on her thigh as she bends and run it up to her behind.
“You smell good,” I smile as I inhale. I kiss her upper thigh.
“Of course,” she smiles. “I always smell good.”
I watch her walk back around to her side of the bed and sit with her back up against the headboard. She sits and thinks for a minute and then starts to write in her diary. I smile to myself. She writes in front of me now. I mean what’s to hide, I have read them all. The fact that she writes in a diary is so nerdy but so damn cute at the same time. I try to concentrate on my email. Fuck she smells good. I shake my head as I try to concentrate. I lean over, kiss her shoulder and lick her upper arm. She smiles and kisses the top of my head in return. I try to re-engage with my email. I can see her in my peripheral vision writing and feel her body calling to mine. A wave of arousal runs through me, she needs to be filled. I bend and take her nipple into my mouth through her singlet, her shoulders fall back to give me access and she sighs softly. I nuzzle my head deeper into her chest and inhale her scent. This is home … where I belong … with the woman I belong to. I smile into her chest as the realisation hits me and she runs her hand gently over the top of my head. I kiss my way down her body and slowly lift her singlet to get access to her skin. God, she smells good. I move lower and bite her through the fabric of her underpants and once again nuzzle into her as I inhale and close my eyes in pleasure. Hmm, my arousal starts to pump heavily between my legs and I crack my neck to relieve the tight pressure. I slide her panties down her legs and off, and our eyes meet. This is my favourite thing in the world … her taste … her smell … her love is right here between us when I do this. Nothing feels better than to give her this pleasure, to give myself this pleasure. This is the one place I lose myself and there is nothing on this earth but me … and her … my precious girl. I part her with my fingers and look at her pink opening between fingers, our eyes meet again and her breath catches and she runs her hand tenderly down my cheek and swipes her fingers gently across my lips. I kiss her fingertips and then slowly lower and lick her deeply. She groans and writhes under me, deeper I lick as my eyes close in pleasure and I rub my hips into the bed beneath me to relieve the pressure in my thumping cock. Fuck, she tastes so good. My head starts to take on its own side-to-side action as I lose myself and start to get to a place where I cannot pull back. I couldn’t stop if I tried. My hands are under her legs and around on her hipbones. I could orgasm by just running my hands over her hipbones. When I have my hands on her hipbones I am usually inside her and pulling her onto me-they are a massive trigger. I run my tongue deep into her again and again and she writhes under me in pleasure. I gently take her clitoris between my teeth and pull back in a stretching motion and she groans loudly. My cock is really thumping now and I grind it hard into the mattress for relief. I need to be inside her and I need to watch. I slowly part her again and push a finger into her. We both groan and I start to feel my pulse in my ears as my cock starts to seep pre-ejaculate. She’s so tight, so fucking hot and unimaginably perfect. My eyes close. I add another finger and circle my tongue over her clitoris as I start to pump my fingers in and out of her. Her soft sighs call to my body on a level that I will never understand, the need in me to be inside of her … to hold her is uncomprehendable, yet the only thing that makes sense in this messed-up world.