I laugh and drink my coffee. He really is gorgeous. Jes and I have become friends and, unlike the relationship between Joshua and me, it is just so uncomplicated. I don’t care if he sleeps with anyone else, I don’t want to go out with him, but I have an underlying affection for him. It’s strange. I have never had it before with any other male. Either I wanted them or I didn’t, but with Jes it’s different. He makes me understand Abbie in a way I never have before. She has a deep affection for the men she dates but she is not in love with any of them, yet she cares for them and she has sex with them. Until I met Jesten I could never understand that, but now I think I do. He makes me laugh and he calls me every couple of days, either with a dirty joke or to arrange coffee or something and, if he doesn’t call me, I do notice it … but it doesn’t bother me, weird.
Back to Mr Stanton-did we have a moment last night or was that wishful thinking on my part How did it go from him comforting me, to me jacking him off in the shower and then him being wrapped around me affectionately all night? He said before that he never stayed with me because he couldn’t say goodbye to me. Was that the case this morning or was he just dying to chew his arm off to get out of there without waking me up? I rub my hands over my face in frustration. Joshua Stanton, you are a total mindfuck … welcome back!
It’s 7. 30 am and I have been back from the gym for an hour. I am showered and ready for work. I sit on my computer in my hotel room as I plug my phone into it. I didn’t watch this yesterday because I didn’t want to see it before I went out with Natasha last night. I didn’t need further ammunition to weaken my resistance. On Saturday night, when we got back from the club and she was drunk, she made me film her while she danced for me. I press play.
Her laugh echos through the computer monitor and I smile broadly.
“What are you doing with my phone?” I ask. The phone camera pans around the room randomly- ceiling, floor, wall-and then it comes onto me. I am sitting on her bed with my back up against the headboard, and I am fully dressed.
“Oh yes, ladies, Joshua Stanton is back on my bed and in the house. Are you jealous much?”
She laughs and then the camera goes up and down in a nod. I smile at her idiocy. “I know, I know. Let’s make another movie,” she giggles. “What shall we call it?” She walks around the end of the bed with the camera still on me and I raise my eyebrows in question. She trips over the end of the bed and drops the phone. “Oops, who put that bed there?” she giggles. I can hear my loud laughter at her in the background. She laughs again and the camera goes in all directions again as she stands back up and focuses the camera back on me.
“What shall we call our new movie, baby?” she asks.
My heart stops at the sound of her calling me that-I can see it on my face as it falls. Maybe I should turn this movie off-it’s just going to mess with my head even further. I bring my pointer up to my mouth and run it over my lips as I think and lean back on my chair.
“Natasha on her knees,” I smile at the screen.
“Ohh yeah, that’s a good one,” she snaps. “What about Joshua just jizzed?”
I hear my laughter echo through the room and the camera goes all over the shop again as she laughs uncontrollably.
“I like that one too,” I smile. “Give me the phone I want to film you.”
I hold my hand out for the phone and she shakes the camera side to side in a no signal. “I am filming you. Oh, I know, why don’t I do a dance for you?” She bursts into laughter again and I find myself smiling broadly at the computer screen. She’s such a frigging idiot. I have never been with a woman that doesn’t try to be cool in front of me and yet Natasha is a total fool in front of me all the time … and I love it.
“Oh my god, I know the song. Pass me my phone .” She holds out her hand and I pass her phone to her from her handbag.
“Give me the camera,” I hold out my hand and she passes me my phone and I start to film her.
She is wearing a short yellow dress and has her shoes off. Her dark hair is messed up and sexy. She looks edible.
She holds her hand out in front of her to accentuate her point. “Oh my god, this is our new song because I am singing it to you … right?” She steps to the side as the alcohol steals her balance and she laughs as she fiddles with the phone. “Where the hell is this song?” she snaps and I laugh out loud again. “Got it, are you ready?”
The camera goes up and down in a nod and I find myself smiling at the computer screen.
The door opens, I pause the film and my eyes flick to Cameron and Adrian as they walk into my room. “Do you mind?” I snap.
They both lean over my shoulder to see what I am watching. “Not a bit,” Cameron smiles as he pulls up a chair.
Adrian narrows his eyes at the screen. “What is she doing?” he frowns.
I sit back in my chair. “Dancing,” I smile.
Adrian smiles broadly. “She’s so hot. Play the tape.” He pulls up another chair on the other side of me. I slowly press play, it’s a Rihanna song. ‘Only girl in the world.’
Natasha grabs a hairbrush off her side table and starts to sing into it.
La la la
La la la
Want you to love me, like I’m a hot ride
Be thinking of me, doing what you like.
She runs her hands up and down her body while she dances and I immediately feel myself harden. My eyes close.
Adrian laughs out loud. “I love this girl.” She starts to flick her hair around crazily and blowing exaggerated kisses to me. She starts taking my shoes off as she dances and sings.
Want you to make me feel
Like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only girl who knows your heart
Cameron laughs out loud. “How in the hell do you get her to do this shit for you?”
I rub my face in embarrassment and I shrug. She starts to really dance crazy and, doing a million twirls on the spot, she starts to do high kicking and we all laugh out loud again.
“Fucking hell. This is priceless,” Cameron laughs.
She starts to undo my jeans and I lift my hips to allow her to access me. She laughs out loud again as she struggles and I feel myself melt just that little bit more. I need to turn this movie off immediately … but I can’t, I need to watch. I just can’t take my eyes off her. Why does watching her uninhibited laughter make me want her that much more?
We all sit still, riveted to the spot. She sings again.
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart.
She points at me and leans in and kisses me slowly. The camera goes onto the side and then rests downwards on the bed. I swallow uncomfortably as both of the boys look at me.
“I thought nothing happened,” Cameron says flatly.
I shrug my shoulders as my eyes go back to the screen. She jumps up on the bed in a rush and my laughter fills the room again.
“Listen to yourself laughing.” Adrian smiles at me as he puts his hand on my shoulder in a reassuring gesture. I nod as my eyes stay riveted on the screen.
She stands above me on the bed and she sings into the hairbrush while flicking her hair around crazily.
Only girl in the world