I roll my eyes. “Excuse me, Captain America, newsflash. He was helping me seeing he is my bodyguard. So do not start your shit with me. Apologise tomorrow.”
“I see you’re still on your medication,” he says dryly.
I hold my head to the side. “What medication?” I snap.
“Bitch pills.” He smiles.
For some stupid reason I giggle. “Shut up. I can’t believe you think I will be your booty call.”
He smiles darkly at me. “I more than believe it. I will place money on it.”
“You’re hopeless on the punt,” I snap as I shovel a forkful of food in my mouth.
He smiles broadly. “Actually I am pretty good on the punt, if you must know.” He wipes his mouth with a napkin.
I wave my fork in the air as I speak. “I am not being your booty call. If you want to leave the door open for us to repair our relationship, then that’s great. If you want sex only, go back to the VIP Room,” I sneer. Stick to your guns Tash, stick to your guns.
“Ok. Deal,” he says dryly.
I frown at him. “What do you mean-Ok deal?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Ok, point taken.”
“Ok, point taken we are going to work on our relationship? Or Ok point taken you are going back to the VIP Room?” I frown.
“Point taken, I am going back to the VIP Room.” His eyes penetrate mine.
My fury ignites and right between his eyes is looking like a good bull’s eye target for my fork to be hurled at him.
I pick up my Diet Coke and start to scull it. I drink the whole thing and slam it back on the table.
He raises his eyebrows as he chews his food. “Thirsty?”
“Yes,” I snap. “Like a camel.”
He smirks and keeps chewing. I need a comeback. Quick, think of a comeback.
“Ok fine then, if we are not going to try and work on our relationship I may as well go back to the massage parlour and take up some of the optional extras.” I put some food in my mouth and smirk. Take that, asshole.
His knife and fork hit the plate with a clang. “Is that a threat?” he sneers as he leans into the table.
I sit forward and fake a smile. “No, that’s a promise.”
“Listen here, you,” he growls. “I will not be held to ransom over our fucked-up relationship. You left me, not the other way around, and now you think you can click your fingers and I will run back to you happily. Snap out of it, this isn’t the fucking Notebook Natasha, there will be no happy ever after. I have been with several women since we broke up, so don’t start your shit with me.”
I sit back in shock and drop my head as tears fill my eyes.
“Sorry I shouldn’t have said that,” he whispers as he senses my hurt. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
I nod as the stupid tears start to fall. I keep my head down and don’t make eye contact with him. He’s been with several women since me, of course he has. I wipe my eyes angrily as hurt rips through me.
He reaches over and picks up my hand. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to say that. It fucks with my head thinking of you in that massage parlour, don’t say things like that.”
I keep my head down, I can’t even look at him. He’s right, this relationship is totally fucked up, who was I kidding?
“It’s ok,” I whisper through my hurt.
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I nod and slowly continue eating my food. What I would really like to do is drop my face in my plate like a pig and slurp everything down in one second flat.
I stay silent through the main while never making eye contact with him. He watches me intently.
He grabs my hand affectionately and rubs his thumb over the back of my fingers. “Tash, don’t be upset, I didn’t mean to say that. They mean nothing to me.”
I nod again while looking down. If I don’t stay strong now we will never have a future together, I know that for sure.
“Tash, baby, talk to me. I can’t stand it when you’re upset like this.”
I shake my head, I can’t talk because if I do I will probably scream and lie on the floor in a two-year-old tantrum while trying to kick him.
“It’s ok, Josh. I get it,” I whisper as I wipe my mouth and fold my napkin while looking down.
“Get what?” he asks.
My eyes flick around to the bodyguards scattered around the room pretending not to look at us.
“I get why you don’t want to be with me, it’s ok.”
“What do you think you get?” he frowns.
I shrug. “Look, let’s not drag this through the mud any further. It’s not the Notebook right.” I scratch the back of my neck in frustration. “Let’s go home.” I look around the restaurant to escape his gaze.
“But you haven’t had dessert,” he says quietly.
“I’ve lost my appetite. Can you take me home please?” I lean down and pick up my bag from under the table. I take out my phone and check it.
He sits still, watching me. “I didn’t mean to say that about the other girls, ok.”
I nod and look down. “But you did, so let’s just leave it there.”
“What do you think you get?”
My eyes meet his. “I’m not a supermodel or gorgeous. I don’t do coke or gangbangs. I’m smart and geeky and I hold making love as something sacred that happens between two people who are in love. I’m still in love with you and you are not in love with me. I have told you that I want to work on us and spend some time together and you are not interested. That’s what I get.”
His eyes hold mine. “But you are gorgeous.”
I look down at my lap. “Obviously not enough, Josh. Let’s go.” I stand in a rush and gesture to my bodyguard toward the door. He nods and starts to exit the restaurant.
I stand quietly as I wait for Joshua to pay. He turns and smiles nervously at me.
“Let’s go,” he smiles as he puts his arm around me and ushers me out the door.
I don’t speak on the car trip home and he is babbling, something about horses and then some project at work. Then he is onto Cameron and Wilson. I just sit still and stare out the window as I listen. He’s unusually talkative and I am unusually quiet.
We get to my house and he parks the car. I turn to him. “Thank you, I will see you later.” I get out of the car in a rush.
He gets out also. “I will walk you up.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I’m fine.” I walk to my apartment in silence with him following me. What is he doing?
We get to my door and I open it and turn. “Thanks.” I give him a small smile. “I will see you at the hospital sometime.” He storms into my apartment. I roll my eyes and follow him in. Great, now he wants to fuck with my head even further. Of course he does, how stupid of me!
I put my keys on the bench and head to my kitchen. I put the kettle on.
“Tea please,” he calls from the lounge room.
What the hell is he playing at? I really want him to leave. Go back to the VIP Room, asshole.
Five minutes later I enter the lounge room with two cups of tea. “Here you are.” I place the two cups on the coffee table and my eyes flick to him. He has taken his shoes off and is lying on the lounge watching television. Hmm, what now?