I nod and kiss my way back up to his face. “I’ve missed you, my beautiful Lamborghini,” I smile.
He smiles sadly at me and kisses me again. “Don’t,” he whispers into my neck.
Huh … don’t. Don’t what?
My face drops. “What do you mean?” I ask.
“Tash, I don’t want to talk.” He continues kissing my neck and his fingers once again find that spot between my legs as they fall open against my will.
“What do you want to do if you don’t want to talk?” I ask.
He pulls back and smiles sexily at me. “I think that’s pretty obvious. I want to fuck.”
I smile again. “Ok, fuck now, talk later,” I whisper.
“Or not.” He smiles as he rolls me onto my back and starts to slide the side of his engorged length through my dripping wet sex. Shit, he feels so good. His body has a sheen of perspiration all over it and his eyes are fixed, watching the parts of our bodies that are connecting.
I look him in the eyes. “Baby, I need you inside me,” I whisper. “I can’t take one more minute without you.”
His eyes close in reverence and he nods as he starts to grip his length to feed himself into me.
The front door bangs shut and we hear keys hit the bench. My eyes widen in horror and I jump up in a rush and run to my door and shut it.
“Hello, love,” Mum’s voice echos through the apartment.
“Oh, my god. It’s Mum, she has a key,” I stammer as I jump around and search for my dressing gown in a panic.
Joshua’s eyes widen and he slaps his hand over his forehead in frustration, then he flops back on the bed onto his back.
“Perfect timing,” he mutters under his breath.
I giggle, run over and kiss him on the lips. “Don’t move a muscle.” I point at him to accentuate my point. “I mean it, I will be five minutes. Lie there and think about what you are going to do to me.”
He smirks as he bites his bottom lip. “No, I will lie here and think about what you are going to do to me.”
I point at him again. “Yes, good idea. Do that.” I smile broadly again at him and lean over him and kiss him tenderly. I bring my hand to his face. “Back in a minute.” “Hurry.” He raises his eyebrows to accentuate his point. I smile and leave the room.
I walk out to the kitchen where I see Mum standing at the kitchen sink looking out the window. Her back is to me and she has the kettle on. I walk up behind her and cuddle her from behind.
“Hello, my beautiful Mum.” I smile. Shit, I hope I don’t smell like sex.
She turns and I see she is crying. My face falls. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
She shrugs and gets a handkerchief from her bag on the bench. “I just have to watch her die. This is my worst nightmare happening again and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.”
“Oh, Mum,” I whisper as my eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
She sobs. “Me too.” I walk her over to the lounge and we take a seat.
“What has been going on this weekend-is she ok?” I ask as I grab her hand.
She nods. “I have just had to watch her say goodbye to all of her old dear friends. It’s just so horrible Natasha, everyone is crying and she is being so strong. I feel like I need to be strong for her but I don’t have the strength anymore.” She sobs into me as I cuddle her.
“It’s ok, Mum. You fall apart and let me be strong for you. I’m strong enough for the both of us at the moment.”
She cries into my arms. This situation is just so heartbreaking. Why do people have to die?
For ten minutes I sit quietly as she sobs. I hate watching her like this-she is normally so strong, bullet-proof. I remember when Dad died, I was like this and she was strong for me. It’s my turn to do the same for her.
My bedroom door slowly opens. Oh shit, I had forgotten about Joshua. My eyes flick in his direction.
Mum looks up and sees him, and she stands in a rush. “Joshua, darling, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here.” Her eyes flick to me in a question and she smiles.
He gives us a lopsided smile. “Hi,” he says gently.
I smile broadly up at him. He is wearing dark denim jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt, his clothes from last night. His muscular physique is screaming to my body to get back to the bed. Even straight out of bed he looks totally beautiful, like he just stepped off a modelling shoot. His dark hair and skin is in stark contrast to his white shirt. He walks over to Mum and bends and gently kisses her cheek.
“You ok?” he whispers as he puts his hand on her shoulder. My eyes drop to his muscular forearm, the visible veins run up his arm and disappear under his shirt- sleeve. Just being in the vicinity of his super-fit body is arousing to mine.
She nods. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you kids. I will leave you to it.”
Joshua shakes his head affectionately. “No, I was leaving anyway,” he says quietly.
My face drops and I grab his hand. “No, don’t go. Stay with me today.”
He looks at me and smiles. “No, spend some time with your mum, I will catch you later.”
I stand in a rush. Catch me later … when? When later? I nod reluctantly. “I will walk you out.”
I follow him to the door and he turns to my mum. “I will see you later at the hospital?”
Mum smiles and nods. “Yes dear. It’s lovely to see you here, Joshua.” She smiles broadly and I shrivel with embarrassment, she knows exactly what we have been doing. Joshua smiles and dips his head, also embarrassed.
I walk him to the door and out onto the landing. “Sorry,” I whisper as I rub my hand on his cheek.
He nods and looks at the ground. “It’s ok,” he says quietly.
“Can I see you tonight?” I whisper.
He frowns at me. “Umm, probably not.”
I frown. “Are you doing something?”
He shakes his head as he takes my hand and looks at the ground. “Tash … I don’t want anything.”
I frown again. “What do you mean?” I ask as panic starts to fill my veins.
“Natasha, I don’t want to pick up where we left off … Last night…. this morning, it was a mistake.”
“No, don’t say that.” I grab him in an embrace.
“Tash, don’t,” he murmurs into my neck.
“Can I see you tonight? Please, baby, I need to explain a few things,” I beg as I run my fingers through his hair.
He looks at the ground, “I don’t think so.”
I cut him off and pull his face back to look at me. “Stop thinking. We will go out for dinner, back to that Italian restaurant. The one you like, remember it?” I smile a hopeful smile at him. “We went there on our first date.” I nod as I smile.
“Why?” he asks.
“Josh, I want to explain why I left you. You don’t understand why and I want you to know.”
His eyes fill with hurt. “Yes I do, I had the audacity to sleep with someone else while we were broken up. Remember?” he says dryly as his eyes penetrate mine. He’s seeing if I bite.
Hmm. “Please Josh.” I grab his hand. “Please!” I pull a whiny face like a little kid and bounce on the spot.
He smiles a resigned smile. “Ok, dinner, tonight only. I will pick you up at eight.”
I stand up onto my toes and kiss him quickly. “Ok, thank you. I will look forward to it. Actually, are you sure you don’t want to come back in with me now to save time later?” I point to the door with my thumb.
He widens his eyes at me. “No,” he mouths at me as he smirks.
I smile as I hunch my shoulders. “Ok, eight. What do you want me to wear?” I bite my bottom lip in cheek.
His eyes hold mine as he raises a brow. “What do you want to wear?” he asks sexily.
“You,” I whisper as I smile.
He shakes his head and smiles darkly. “Behave, Miss Marx, or your mother might get a show on the lounge-room floor.”
My eyes widen. “Oh right, shit, I forgot she was here.” I kiss him quickly and rush back into the apartment to see my mother making tea.
I hunch my shoulders and bite my lip to hide my smile as I close the door behind me.
“And?” Mum smiles.
I flop onto the lounge and hold my heart. “Oh my god, Mum, he’s so perfect it’s scary.”
She blows onto her coffee to cool it. “He’s definitely gorgeous, I will give him that. Sorry to interrupt. I have put the key back on the bench so I don’t do it again.”
I smile sadly at her. “You ok?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I will be. It just got to me, seeing all of Mum’s friends saying goodbye to her.”
“It would,” I sigh. “It will be ok, Mum. She is going to be with Grandpa when she dies, and Dad. Dad will be there to meet her.” My eyes tear over.
She nods as her tears start to fall. “I miss your father, Natasha.” She sobs as she drops her head into her hands.
I rub her back. “Me too, Mum, me too.”
It’s ten past eight and Joshua hasn’t arrived. I’m starting to panic. I have been ready since seven. I stand at my front window looking up the street. Where are you baby? Please come. Then I see the four-car procession pull around the corner and I practically jump for joy. He’s here. I quickly pour myself a glass of wine to calm my nerves. This is it, our whole future rests on me and how I handle this tonight. I don’t know why I thought he would just take me back, but I did. He’s not going to. I just know it.
Knock, knock.
I smile as I open the door. “Use your key. You don’t need to knock.”
“Hi.” He looks around nervously and I see him catch sight of the framed photos I have of him on my sideboard. He frowns. “You ready?”
I stand back from the door. “Come in.” I gesture with my hand to the lounge room. “Would you like a glass of wine?” I ask. I need to drag this night out as long as I can.
He smiles and nods. “Yes please, how are you feeling?” He gestures to my drink.
I cringe with embarrassment as my cheeks turn red. “Was I appalling last night?”
He laughs. “Yes, totally.” He nods to accentuate his point.
I put my face in my hands. “Can’t you be a gentleman and tell me I wasn’t that drunk?”
He laughs out loud. “No, I have never seen you so drunk. It was very entertaining. You even let me in on a few of your sordid secrets.”
My eyes widen. “Like what?” I pour the wine into his glass as he holds it.
“Like the massage yesterday,” he sneers.
My eyes flick up to meet his. Oh shit, me and my big mouth. Why in the hell would I tell him that? I’m mortified knowing it myself.
I close my eyes as shame rips through me. When I open them Joshua is glaring at me.
“Why in the hell would you let some sleazy masseur touch you?” he snaps.
“Why do you let cheap strippers and whores touch you?” I stammer.
He narrows his eyes. “That’s different,” he snaps.