Both Jason and I are in Aria’s room, attempting to lull her to sleep. I know right now we are both thinking the same thing. We both were concerned after hearing how badly Aria would react if I ever left her alone, because no matter how badly I want to stay here, I can’t. This place is not somewhere I can stay forever. And the thing is, Aria is very attached to me, and this is not good for her. However, the thing is, I can’t do anything about it. She is just a child, and no matter how hard I try, I can never make her understand the complication of my relationship with Jason..
As a child, I always wanted to grow up to be an adult. So that I can make my decisions right or wrong, good or bad. But, as I grew up, I realized how hard life is for an adult to live, to move forward, to face the mistakes of their own decisions and the consequences of those decisions, too.
It’s weird how we humans want something that we could never have, but we still want it so badly. And when we finally have, we don’t want it and start chasing new things that’s beyond our reach.
I remember some of my decisions, as an adult, that I still regret, decisions that left permanent marks, not on my body, but on my soul. Decisions that even, after so many years pass, still hurt and haunt me when remembered. ‘Stop,’ I sighed, shaking my head, trying to shake away the memories of the past, the pain that haunts my soul every time I think about it. “Not again,” I mumbled under my breath, getting out of Aria’s room with Jason following me behind.
“Kiera,” said Jason with his voice a mere whisper.
“Hmm,” I turned my head towards him, gazing at him.
“Can we talk?” Jason motioned his finger towards the balcony.
I nodded my head, following him. I know what he is going to talk about, so I don’t question him.
“I’m worried how Aria will react to your absence,” said Jason.
“I know,” I sighed. “But we couldn’t do anything to change it.”
Jason looked at me, uncertainly, hearing my words. “What if I move out of your house? Maybe if Aria doesn’t see me daily, she might get used to it..,”
“But what if we hurt her more in the process of separating her from you?,”
“I know, but we have to do something…, someday you might have a girlfriend or wife and, I too can’t live forever with you guys,”
Jason looked startled, as if he didn’t enjoy hearing of us moving on in each other’s lives.
“Let’s focus on one thing at once,” Jason said in one line, hiding his face from me.
“You’re right…., So, what should we do?”
Everything went silent for a minute. ___ No one wanted to speak anything, simply looking at each other’s eyes and hoping that the other person would make the first move to break the silence in-between.
“I don’t know…” Both Jason and I spoke at the same time, breaking the silence between us.
“Let’s not force ourselves or Aria. Something only happens when the right time comes. We have to wait and let it happen on its own.” I’m both mentally and physically strained thinking about it, but as for now, I only want to end the conversation here.
“Hmm,” Jason just hummed, hearing my words, saying nothing but looking at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
“What?” I questioned, regarding the uncertainty on Jason’s face.
“Nothing…, I was just thinking,”
“And what are you thinking?,”
“You know how stressful life has been these past few months.” I nodded my head, agreeing with him.
“With our marriage, then divorce, your dad’s accident….” My eyes started streaming hearing about dad’s accident, but I tried to keep my emotions at bay.
“I know you don’t enjoy talking about it,” Jason said, wrapping his arms around my shoulder, trying to comfort me.
“I’m okay,”
“I know you’re not. That’s why I’m thinking, maybe we should escape from all this for a few days or many a month…,”
“What do you mean?” On my question, Jason placed both his hands on my shoulder, turning my head towards him, with his eyes staring at mine
“Let’s get out of here, somewhere quiet, away from all this. Just you, me, and Aria on a family vacation.”
“Family…” the words surprised me.
“What you’re my friend and friends are family too. And I don’t have anyone except Aria and now you, whom I can call a family of my own.”
“We are in the same boat, I guess. I too have no one other than my dad as a family. But now I have you guys.”
“See, we are perfect for each other,” said Jason, giving me the sweetest smile of all time. Who would have thought that he was the same guy who once hated me so much that he couldn’t even stare a glance at me? But now, the same guy cares so much about me, he couldn’t even see me sad for a second. Sometimes when time changes, a person changes too, both in a good or bad way. But I’m lucky that the change is in a good way, or how I could have found such a great friend, a mentor, and someone who cares for me sincerely.
“Hey.., where are you lost?” said Jason, diverting my attention to him.
“Nowhere,” I said, shaking my head. “But Jason… I don’t think I can go with you. I can’t leave my dad while he needs me so much and I also don’t want to interrupt your father’s and daughter’s time by being the third wheel between you and Aria.”
“Who said you’re the third wheel? You’re the engine, Kiera, that is keeping us running. Without you, life was black and white for both of us. But came filling the colors of life in our lives,” said Jason with his hands, holding my hands as his eyes staring at my soul sincerely. “Without you, we’re lifeless.., ”
“Jason….., I don’t…,”
“I know that you’ve forgiven me, but I want to ask your forgiveness one more time. You didn’t deserve the way. I treated you, and I’m sorry….,”
“Jason, please no, you don’t have to. I know you were hurt, too.”
“And your anger was just the result of the pain you’ve been through__ you’re a good person Jason. You…., were just blinded by your anger.” I said, squeezing his hands to provide him some comfort. “Let’s not talk about the past.”
“You’re right,” Jason replied, nodding his head. “So about the trip, and don’t I will take care of everything and we can also visit your dad anytime you want to. Please…., say yes.”
Maybe he is right; we all need some time alone to escape all this, and who knows what the future holds for all of us. So, hoping for a delightful adventure and looking forward to what the future holds for us. I nodded my head.
“Yes, let go on a family vacation,” I said.
“Yes,” Jason said after me, excitedly, wrapping his arms around my body and hugging me tightly.