June 16,
I am the worst person on the planet. I hurt her again. I may never get her to love me now. It wasn’t my intention to do what I did. I thought she was pulling away from me. I let my mind get away from me. I saw the way that he looked at her and I thought she was going to run to him, now that she found him. If I would have stopped and thought about it for a second I would have seen that she kept her distance. She told him that I was her mate. I should have reigned in my anger.
I didn’t though, I lost it. I threw her in the room and intended to punish her. I should have wrapped her in my arms and loved her, but I pushed her around and locked her in like a prisoner.
I found that slut and made her beg for me. I made her take me in her mouth. I couldn’t get off and that made me more pissed. She is the only one that can get me off. I took my anger out on the slut. I shoved it in her. It didn’t help. I used protection but I still couldn’t get off.
I realized my mistake, and rushed back to the room. Only to find her a bloody heap on the floor. I am the worst person on the planet. I hurt her and she did nothing to deserve it. I know that never stopped me before, but things are different now. I can feel her pulling away from me even now. He is her mate and he has never hurt her. He wants to protect her. I just want to keep her. I feel so much pain now that I am losing her.
She is going to hate me. I feel my heart breaking. If she doesn’t forgive me, I might not be able to make it. I can’t live without her.
I look at him and he is crying now. I have never seen Darius cry. “I get that you are upset. I just don’t know what to say.”
“Do you love him?” He asks like I am going to crush his heart with my next words.
“Darius, I have loved Markus since I was eight. I have been waiting for him to come back and save me since then. I didn’t know who he was or where he was. I only knew that he was out there somewhere and told me that he was coming back for me.” I pause because he is crying even harder. “When you marked me I had given up hope. I know that I belong to you. We are mated. Wolves mate for life. I am just trying to deal with all of this.”
He buries his head in my legs. “I love you so much. I can’t stand these thoughts that I am having. The thoughts that you are leaving me. I need your forgiveness. I need you to try to love me.”
I don’t like him crumpled like this. He has always been so strong. I feel for him at this moment. Maybe it is our bond that we have right now. His mark made me feel this way for him. After everything that he did to me. I shouldn’t care that he hurts. I shouldn’t care that he is losing the only thing that he ever loved. But I do.
“Darius, look at me.” He looks up at me with red and puffy eyes. Tear tracks still mark his face. “We are mates. I may have love for Markus, but you are my mate. My mate that I made a choice to be with, even if it was forced, I still made the choice.” I can’t believe I am saying this. “Can you promise me that you are never going to do this to me again?”
I can see the hope light up his face as he crawls up my body. “Never, please little mate. Please forgive me.”
I sigh. “I am going to forgive you this one time.” I had more to say but he didn’t let me finish. He plunges his mouth to mine, taking it over. He pulls my body to his.
“I love you. I know it may be a long time before you say it, but I do. I can’t live without you Sophia.”
“I am still not sleeping with you. It’s going to take a minute before I can be comfortable with that.”
He pulls me closer and kisses me. “I don’t care what it takes. I will make you love me. I do love you. I know I sound like a broken record right now. I don’t care. As long as you are in my arms. As long as you are right here.”
I lay my head on his chest. “Don’t make me regret this Darius.”
“I won’t, I promise.”