I wanted to tell him about my missed period right away. But I hesitated and felt embarrassed and scared.
“I’m delayed by one week,” I finally mustered the courage to say.
“Where? Do you have somewhere to go that got delayed because of me?” He asked.
To be honest, I wanted to hit him with a spoon and fork. I glared at him because there I was, struggling to confess to him, and he misunderstood what I said.
“I THINK I’m pregnant!”
He blinked several times as if he couldn’t believe what I said. Well, my news was quite shocking. Who wouldn’t be surprised?
“Ah. But you’re not sure yet if you’re pregnant, right?” He asked me.
“W-what do you mean?” I was nervous about his tone.
“I mean, we need to make sure if you’re really pregnant or not. Some women experience delayed menstruation even if they’re not pregnant. Don’t think about it too much, okay?” He tried to reassure me, but it didn’t really work.
I worried about what might happen. After eating, I asked him to accompany me to the library. He agreed. In our class, nothing changed, he remained the same. When it was time to go home, he held my hand as usual when we walked towards the gate.
Did nothing really change, or did I just not see what I needed to see? As most people say, love is blind.
That night, we had an early dinner because my mom had plans. I would’ve loved the dish she prepared, but I had no appetite.
“Jamie, why are you eating like that? Isn’t this sautéed sweet potato leaves your favorite?” My mom asked.
“It’s still early, Mom. I’ll just eat again later. By the way, where are you going?”
“Oh, just to Talia’s place again. She’s going to watch a drama again,” my dad replied.
“Just let her be. Don’t you want to accompany her?” I asked him.
“What can I do? You know your mother, she’s scared of the dark!” He said in frustration.
“You two are so funny. Okay, go to Talia’s place then. I’ll just clean up our dishes.”
In my mind, it would be better if they left because I wanted to be alone. Earlier, Brent and I went to his house, and he took a pregnancy kit from inside.
“Alright, after you finish washing, go to sleep because you have an early class tomorrow.” My mom reminded me.
“Yes, Mom,” I replied.
When I was alone, I quickly tidied up our dishes and washed them. I went upstairs to our house and took the pregnancy kit from my bag. I read the instructions on the packaging.
So, I needed to pee on it and place it in the kit. Wait for a few minutes until the red line appears. Two lines mean pregnant, and one line means not pregnant.
I carefully went downstairs, holding the kit. I was about to enter the bathroom when Kevin suddenly appeared.
“Kevin! You startled me!”
“So, you get surprised whenever you see me? Why is that? Before, you used to have a big smile whenever I passed by here in your house.”
Oh, here goes Kevin again, with his constant reminiscing of the past. To be honest, I’m getting tired of listening to his lines.
“If it’s not important, Kevin, can you leave now? I still have something to do,” I told him and turned away. Instead of going into the bathroom, I went to the kitchen.
But Kevin suddenly grabbed my hand-the hand that was holding the pregnancy kit-and the thing I was holding dropped. He quickly picked it up and looked at it.
“A pregnancy kit? Who’s this for?” He grilled me without any butter.
I was caught, cornered, and had nowhere to run.
“K-Kevin, can we keep this between us for now? I’m not sure yet, okay?” My voice trembled as I begged him to keep whatever he learned to himself.
“Jamie, how did this happen?” He got angry and punched the bathroom door.
I heard a mix of bitterness and regret in Kevin’s voice, but I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. Everything already happened. I found myself in a situation that was difficult to change. The least I could do was take responsibility for my actions.
“I can’t answer you, Kevin. Can we talk about this some other time? My mind is still in chaos,” I pleaded with him.
The days passed swiftly until the day of my high school graduation finally arrived. It had become a tradition for us that whenever there was an occasion like graduation, we would slaughter a chicken.
Exactly at twelve noon, we had our meal so we could leave the house immediately. The baccalaureate mass was at half past two in the afternoon, and we needed to be at the church before two o’clock.
After our meal, our family got dressed up. Dad complained about wearing his polo and barong, saying he looked like he was attending a living wake. Mom also didn’t escape his critical eyes.
Mom was slightly conscious when Dad commented that her dress didn’t suit her. I let them have their little argument since it was normal for them. I had gotten used to it.
I wore a simple yellow dress that reached my knees. I also bought nude stockings to pair with it since I felt uncomfortable with my legs too exposed. I rarely wear skirts or shorts when I go out with Brent.
“Jamie, come on, we’re going to be late,” my mom said.
For the last time, I looked at myself in the mirror before going downstairs. I placed my hand on my belly. Was there something in it now?
“I’m coming down, Mom.” As I stepped near the door, I saw Kevin.
“Wow, you took so long. Kevin has been waiting for us,” my mom complained.
I wanted to tell my mom that I didn’t care about Kevin and that we didn’t agree to go to church together, but I couldn’t. Our families were friends, and I didn’t want them to get caught up in our issues.
When we arrived at the church, I looked around for Brent, but I couldn’t find him. Where could he be? As we waited for the mass to begin, everyone was busy taking pictures with their families, friends, and relatives. Everyone was happy, except me, who was lost in my thoughts.
But as the mass started, Brent still hadn’t arrived. I began to worry and feel anxious. If he didn’t show up and the mass ended, I’d have to go to his house.
After the mass, I told my mom and dad that I needed to buy something nearby. I also told them to go ahead to our school, and I’d catch up with them later. Thankfully, they didn’t ask too many questions.
I hailed a cab and had my parents, as well as Kevin, get in. Then I left. I ran as fast as I could, walking and running on the way to Brent’s house.
When I reached their gate, I quickly pressed the doorbell. I rang it several times, but nobody opened the door. Where could he be? I felt so anxious and scared as I stood outside their house.
“Jamie,” a man called out to me.
I looked back, thinking it was Brent who had arrived, but it was Kevin. “Are you following me, Kevin?” I asked him in an irritated voice.
“Jamie, Brent is gone,” he said to me.