I slowly peeled my eyes open when I heard a soft humming. When I woke up, I came to see Claude swaying our little pup.
“Claude…” I meekly called his name.
“Rachelle!” He gasped as soon as he saw me. He immediately approached me and placed our baby pup beside me before he helped me to get up. “Here, love…” He helped me to drink a glass of water.
“Thank you…” I said after drinking some water. I didn’t waste my time laying my eyes on our son. I couldn’t help getting teary-eyed as I took him in my arms. “Cloudy…” I uttered my son’s nickname.
“Gilbert said that as soon as you wake up, you need to feed our son.”
I nodded. “Yes… I know.” I didn’t hesitate to pull down my nightgown and showed my nipple to my hungry little boy. I softened when Cloudy latched on it. I kissed his forehead. “My little Cloudy…” My voice croaked in happiness seeing the pup that I bore for three months in my stomach. “I’m so glad you’re here with us…” I couldn’t help shedding tears in happiness. “Claude…” I paused when Claude was looking at me with an earnest expression.
I gulped, already feeling that he wanted to bring the topic about keeping my pregnancy from him. Sighing, I clicked my tongue softly.
“Claude, I know that you are still mad at me for keeping my pregnancy to you,” I started. “I just… don’t want you to take the brigade from me. Yes, I am selfish. I have been careless as well for failing to take the fertility control resulting from me to be pregnant-”
“No matter what your explanation is, Rachelle, it doesn’t change the fact that you broke my trust,” Claude chimed in. “You should have said it beforehand that you are pregnant with our pup regardless if you will return from Auritaurie or not,” he said, gritting teeth. He was controlling his tone because we had our baby pup here. Frustrated, he combed his hair. “Hell, I never witnessed your pregnancy. I could have been beside you while you were conceiving! I was even willing to provide your cravings and we will wonder what our child looks like.” He looked at the ceiling when his voice croaked. “You took them away from me, Rachelle… You took those possible hellish and memorable experiences. Instead, you chose to be a selfish Luna Queen wanting to keep it away from her Alpha King about your pregnancy…”
Tears started to fall from his eyes. He didn’t hide from me the pain extracted from his eyes. It was heartbreaking and my wolf was howling. She wanted me to comfort Claude but I couldn’t move a muscle as I have Cloudy in my hands.
“Rachelle, I did everything I could to give you happiness. I provided everything so you could lead the brigade… Everything you wished, I gave them all to you. I wanted you to accept our mate bond and we even did our mate ritual even though I am quite hesitant… because this is the result of it. This is what I am talking about the result we could never return…” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I love you… I love you so much I am willing to step down as the Alpha King to live a simple life with you, Rachelle… My love for you… Damn it! In the end, you hurt me… You chose to hurt me. Again. You always take me for granted…”
I gasped, feeling hurt at his words. “Claude, I didn’t take you for granted… Please…” I begged. I wanted to stand up but I couldn’t move my legs yet. I wanted to reach him but Claude was too far away from me. “Claude… I’m sorry… It is my fault… I didn’t tell you the truth. I was frightened that the dream I had been wanting would just take away from me… Believe me… Please don’t say I took you for granted. I also cherished you and loved you just like the way you love me…” I cried.
I didn’t mean to hurt him… Yes, I was a selfish woman… only thinking about myself. But I did not take him for granted… Or did I? Did I really take him for granted?
Claude shook his head. “I’m sorry but I can’t feel it… You also broke my trust, Rachelle.” He smiled bitterly.
“Claude!” I called his name when he was about to leave. I wiped my tears and tried to stand up. But my knees failed me. I gasped when Cloudy cried.
“What the hell, Rachelle!” Claude’s voice boomed all over the tent when he approached me and took Cloudy from mine. “Do remind yourself that you are holding our pup! Cloudy will be crowned as a Crown Prince and he will be the next Alpha King and you will dare yourself to be careless?! What on the Moon Goddess’ name is wrong with you, Rachelle?!”
“I-It was…” I bit my lower lip, wanting to defend myself but I realized it was my fault because I dared to stand up even though I was trying to reach him and halt him from leaving. I looked up as I wiped my tears. “I-I’ll be careful next time… I’m sorry…”
I held to the bed as I tried to stand up even though I could feel the pain struck in between my thighs. Even though I was a wolf who could heal, I was still having a hard time gathering my strength because giving birth wasn’t something I was fond of.
I gasped softly when a pair of arms lifted me up. I turned and realized that it was Claude who did that as he gently placed me in the bed while he settled our son to the bed.
I got teary-eyed when our eyes met and saw the coldness in them. I have hurt him… Claude was hurting because of me.
Again.
I was about to say something when he spoke all of a sudden. “Go back to sleep and take a rest. You can feed our son later,” he said and distanced himself away from me. “I will allow us to stay here for a week before we depart whether you like it or not, Rachelle. You are coming home with me.”
I clenched my hands and averted my eyes away from him. “Yes…” I said in a meek tone and laid back to the bed, not wanting to speak with him.
“I am not going to let you lead the brigade anymore. A Luna Queen must stay in the palace. I will put a decree not allowing any woman to lead the war anymore. Be certain about that, Rachelle.”
I didn’t answer him and stayed silent. I didn’t want to hear anything from him anymore. I just didn’t want to argue with him.
“Do as you wish…” I said before I turned my back to put myself back to sleep.
With that, our relationship started to deteriorate. I couldn’t even talk back to Claude anymore as… I didn’t want to hurt him.
He even forbade me to join in the conference meeting as he was the one temporarily holding my position as the one leading the brigade while I was here at my tent being heavily guarded by the soldiers under the Eagle Mist.
Claude took the authority and seal to lead the Eagle Mist. He forced me to give the seal so he could control them as Eagle Mist wouldn’t dare to listen to anyone, regardless if that is an Alpha King or not, unless one had the seal granted by me to lead and order them. Even though the battle commanders didn’t want this to happen, I ordered them to comply, especially Cornelius. He needed to lie low with Claude. Claude wanted to hurt him but he refrained himself since we were still in the war.
“Cloudy, I hope your father will forgive me…” I whispered when I placed my head on his forehead.
My son giggled and made some coo sound which eased my feelings. I melted before I kissed his forehead.
Cloudy was my only comfort right now. He was the one I was gathering my strength whenever I thought that Claude and I would never be the same before. It was my fault after all if he couldn’t trust me. I didn’t cheat but I made him lose the trust he bestowed to me by keeping my pregnancy from him.
Until now, I could still feel his feelings hurting. It never dissipated. That feeling worsened every time he would pay me a visit.
That, of course, hurt me as well.
“We will return to the palace soon…” I nuzzled my nose to his cheek and hummed a lullaby when his eyes were getting droopy.
I smiled gently when I realized Claudian V or Cloudy has Claude’s facial features.
I checked his irises. They were pure black. Gilbert explained to me that the color of the irises of a baby pup would remain black until he reaches a year old. Once Cloudy reaches a year old, the irises of his eyes would change to a different color which depends if our son would inherit Claude’s hazel eyes or my cornflower blue eyes.
When Cloudy fell asleep after hearing his soft snore, I placed him in the cradle bought by Claude. He ran a short errand as soon as I gave birth. He didn’t command anyone to buy the things Cloudy needs. Instead, he took care of them on his own after asking some advice from the soldiers who already had their family and have pup back to their hometown.
I saw how happy Claude was as soon as he arrived when he got down from the carriage. He met Cloudy, not me. He didn’t even kiss me whenever he had a chance just like before.
It was like I was nothing to him already. It was really painful that Claude was acting this way to me. But I couldn’t blame him if he was acting hostile towards me.
Claude returned to my tent as soon as the conference meeting was over. Just like the past few days, he ignored me. He was only attending here to see our son.
But I couldn’t sit still. I wanted to know the situation.
“H-How’s the situation of the war?” I asked, hesitant to ask him.
Claude shot me a glare but he didn’t say anything. My heart leaped as his Alpha aura which before, I could defy it but right now, my knees were getting wobbled.
“Once we return to the palace. You will be settling at the castle in the north. You will not be seeing our son for a month,” he said coldly as soon as he placed Cloudy in his cradle.
My heart sank as I gasped. “F-For a month? Not being able to see Cloudy?!” I stood up, not believing what I was hearing. “What the hell are you talking about, Claude?” I asked through gritted teeth.
I immediately stepped back when Claude walked in my direction. I suddenly felt intoxicated while he was towering over me.
“That is your sanction for putting my heir in danger while being pregnant, Rachelle.”
I stepped back, clenching more of my hands. “What the fuck…” I smiled bitterly upon the realization. “But why does it have to be that I need to be separated from Cloudy, Claude?! I’m his mother, for the Moon Goddess’ sake!” I couldn’t help raising my voice.
He squinted his eyes at me. “And I am his father. I am the Alpha King. My orders are absolute. You must obey even if you are my Luna Queen, Rachelle!” He raised his tone. “Be grateful that is only the sanction I bestowed to you. If something happens to our son while you were pregnant at that time, I could have bestowed you a death penalty!”
I gasped as my eyes widened at what he said. At the same time, Cloudy suddenly cried. Claude tended to it while I remained speechless.
I covered my mouth with my hand at his words. He could even bestow me a death penalty? I knew that was possible…
I was forced to read the five hundred pages of the royal ordinance when I was still training to become a member of the royal lycan family. An Alpha King could bestow a death penalty to a royal member if one of them commits treason. That includes putting the life of the next heir.
I turned at Claude. I needed to beg so he wouldn’t push through by separating me from our son. “Claude-”
“Not a word from you, Rachelle.” He glared at me coldly. “Do not even dare to argue with me anymore,” he said as soon as he managed to calm Cloudy and returned him to his cradle. Then he faced me, looking at me like I was just a speck of dust easily to be trampled down. “I will take back the Luna Queen seal. I am not going to return it until I think you can be trusted. Which I highly doubt, possibly,” he stated coldly and left.
I dropped my knees as I froze to my ground upon hearing his words.
He would even take the Luna Queen seal?
Does it mean that I would lose my authority as the Luna Queen?
And I will lose my right to be the Luna Queen?
“No…” I said meekly as I cried more.
This can’t be happening… This can’t be happening…
Moon Goddess, why am I suffering like this?!