Oceana’s Pov.
For the next couple of days, I was out of it, feeling lazy and weak about the whole thing.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Gerard, every day it became my routine to think and get worried.
I sensed Carmine’s presence, he came to me with a smile, wearing a long silver jacket, blue jeans and a white sleeveless shirt, he was getting handsome by the day.
I was on the balcony of the palace, staring at the people below me as they had their moments. I didn’t look at Carmine, neither was I in the mood to be talking to him, he will take Gerard’s side and not mine.
I wasn’t in the temperament to smile back so I scowled at him, turning my face off, from him.
“You look pretty this morning, lovely.”
“Don’t call me that.” I snapped, he can’t jinx me to be in his control, like a stupid child nodding at every stupidity being thrown at her, I don’t need flattery or sweet words from him.
“Will you calm down, I know you are pissed but listen to what I have to say?’ I rested my chin on my fisted hand and rolled my eyes at him with no response, he continued.
“I know you are still angry with the both of us, I can’t blame you, but you have to know this, he loves you and doesn’t want to put your life in harm’s way.”
“You knew all this time.” I glared at him, and he shrugged his shoulders and nodded. “Yes, but Gerard is trying to protect you, I get where this is going.”
“I don’t need his protection, I am his mate, why is he being so difficult by saying he is protecting me, he is not doing that. I want my Alpha, not his safety, it’s killing me.”
“Gérard knows the consequences, Oceana, why don’t you put yourself in his shoes.” He persuaded me.
“How can I put myself in a position that I don’t even understand in the first place, he wouldn’t tell me anything and all I keep hearing is that he is trying to protect me from what exactly, the realms, the people?” I questioned.
“He can’t accept you as his mate even if he wants it so badly, even if he loves you and it kills him inside, he doesn’t want to hurt and make you hate him in the future, he just wants…”
“If he loves me, he will tell me to my face, not hide it and I’m tired of hearing about the future.’
“Put yourself in his shoes, it’s a heavy burden.’
Heavy burden.
“Is that all I am worth? A heavy burden? Why should I do that? I don’t have any idea what you guys are trying to protect me from when he wouldn’t say anything. Did you guys have any clue how this hurt me so much? You guys broke my heart, you left me all alone and I hate the both of you for doing that to me.” I slammed down the pavement with my fist, which crackled, creating a hole and Carmine put his hands on my shoulders and firmly held them.
“Look at me, my sister.” He softly muttered. “I’m sorry for how I treated you all these years, I was also doing it for everyone’s good. You and I are the only ones who know about this mate thing, if the others learn about it, we are dead. Gérard is trying to safeguard you, you know he loves you right and he doesn’t want to lose you. That’s also the reason he hasn’t been home all these years, we are not preventing this because we hate you or I feel disgusted about him being your mate. I am so delighted that he is your mate, I am not scared of the consequences, the moon goddess arranged this, so I have no say in whatsoever, I love you, Oceana and I will also do anything to protect you, give him some time and let’s sort this out, how we can handle this, Oceana. We are doing it for your safety and it has never crossed our mind to hate you. We will never loathe you no matter what comes or gets thrown at us, we will never feel hostility towards you. Oceana, Mom and Dad wouldn’t be happy if they should learn of this secret between us, if Gérard keeps getting close to you, we will be in danger and we are both trying to avoid that, that’s why we always leave the house very well back then too. Gérard doesn’t want to affect you, get it Oceana, he loves you and he will do anything to be by your side. Don’t just lose faith in him. He loves you so much, I noticed it throughout the years but he doesn’t show it to you but it’s hard and he’s struggling so much.”
“Are you speaking about brotherly love, Carmine?”
“No.” He shook his head. “This is Gérard we are talking about, he doesn’t have such feelings for you, we both know for sure that you are his first love and he’s deeply in love with you.’
His words melted my heart.
I smiled and then it struck me. ‘What am I going to do, Carmine, does this mean I can never be with him.’ He dropped down his hands and put them at their sides.
“I don’t know how to answer that, I know it’s hard but the only thing I can tell you is that you should forget about him for the rest of your life and move on.”
My frightened eyes widened. “Move on.’ I whispered.
It was as if cold water was poured on me, wasn’t he the one encouraging me a while ago, Carmine gazed at me sadly. “Life is such a cruel place, isn’t it, Oceana?”
He left.
That’s it, I ran after him and Carmine ignored me and said no word.
I was devastated.
I should move on. That’s what Carmine said to me, he wants me to move on, how dare he play with my feelings.
Did he just tell me those words that I should move on, I knew he will always be on Gerard’s side, what was I reckoning on, damn what have I gotten myself into.
I wish it was a dream but it turned out to be a nightmare instead and I was shocked, I didn’t expect this kind of action from him. I thought or maybe he was pulling out my legs and making me break whatever bond there was between Gerard and I, and truth be told, my worst fear came true.
“Gerard Daciana, will you take Emily Jones as your lawfully wedded wife, in peace and unity, for better or worse, till death do you part.’